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Yucks Digest V2 #55 (shorts)
Yucks Digest Mon, 9 Nov 92 Volume 2 : Issue 55
Today's Topics:
(Non-Election) Headline from this morning's paper
2nd Annual Ig Nobel Prizes
Actual Statistics (Honest!)
A Grim Fairy Tale
A movie we could see in 1993
Calling Technical Support
Chain Letter
Country music could be harmful to your health! (2 msgs)
Credit at the end of PBS's show, 'The Creation of the Universe'
Doctor Dave Barry on the End of the World
Funnies for Yucks
funnies for Yucks Digest
Gerbil shaving and piercing
H. Ross Perot is L. Ron Hubbard
hair
history lessen for the day
irony on ba.jobs.offered
Now's the time to buy a home
So that explains it ...
The Major Political Parties on the End of the World
we be roadkill
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual,
the sometimes risque, the possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.
It is issued on a semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present
themselves.
Back issues and subscriptions can be obtained using a mail server. Send
mail to "yucks-request@cs.purdue.edu" with a "Subject:" line of the single
word "help" for instructions.
Submissions and problem reports should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1992 07:33:08 -0500
From: jfwhome.funhouse.com!jfw@eddie.mit.edu
Subject: (Non-Election) Headline from this morning's paper
To: eniac
"Magnesium found to aid heart patients"
The article didn't, but should have, read: "In a study of 1000 heart
patients, it was discovered that they could more easily be kept to a
reasonable, healthy diet and exercise regimen with periodic blows to
the head using a magnesium bar...."
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 14:03:30 PST
From: lsc@Eng.Sun.COM
Subject: 2nd Annual Ig Nobel Prizes
To: eniac
Ig Nobels Become an Annual Tradition
-------------------------------------
A gorilla in lab coat and safety goggles. The King and Queen of
Swedish meatballs. A failed cold fusion experiment involving a
peg-legged worker and radioactive material. A line of buckyball
clothing. It must be the second annual Ig Nobel prize ceremony.
Sponsored by the MIT Museum and the _Journal_of_Irreproducible_Results_,
the prizes honor "men and women whose achievements cannot and
should not be reproduced." The awards are the legacy of the supposed
relative of Alfred. One true Nobel laureate, physicist Sheldon Glashow,
helped officiate at the 1 October festivities. Another celebrity,
Nobel physicist Jerome Friedman, failed to show but sent a taped
message appropriate to the occasion: "I hope all of you are enjoying
this as much as I am."
Everywhere there were posters and T-shirts for the night's "sponsor,"
Kelvin, the first unisex fragrance that makes its wearer "absolutely cool."
Some of the winners:
. In medicine: a Japanese research team at the Shisedo Research
Center in Yokohama for their paper "Elucidation of Chemical
Compounds Responsible for Foot Malodor."
. In biology: Cecil Jacobson, the Virginia-based fertility specialist
convicted of using his own sperm on dozens of women. The
citation honors his "simple, single-handed method of quality
control."
. In physics: David Chorley and Doug Bower, two elderly landscape
painters who claim to have made all those mysterious crop
circles, nonored for "their circular contributions to field
theory based on the geometric destruction of English crops."
. In chemistry: Ivette Bassa of Kraft General Foods, leader of a group
called "Team Jell-O," for her synthesis of bright blue gelatin.
. In archeology: a French youth group, "fresh-scrubbed removers of
graffiti," for erasing ancient cave wall paintings in France.
. In literature: Yuri Struchkov, of the Institute of Organoelemental
Compunds in Moscow, who published 948 scientific papers from
1981 to 1990, an average of one every 3.9 days.
(without permission from "Science", vol. 258, 16 October 1992)
[ "Kelvin" can be ordered direct from the MIT Museum Shop, (617) 253-4462 ]
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 04 Nov 92 07:32:38 CST
From: Joe Wiggins <JWIGG@UAFSYSB.UARK.EDU>
Subject: Actual Statistics (Honest!)
To: yucks
[Excerpted from an excerpt of Harper's Index in Funny Times]
* Amount the Department of Defense wil spend on softballs this year:
$1,000,000.
* Percentage of Iowans who say they would like having Madonna for a
neighbor "a lot": 8.
* Average annual salary Zabar's delicatessen in New York City pays
lox slicers with at least 10 years' experience: $60,000.
* Chances that a defendant tried in a criminal case in Japan will
be found guilty: 99 in 100.
* Breasts bared on a Canadian border bridge last July to celebrate
New York State's legalization of topless sunbathing: 40.
* Amount of candy corn produced in the United States each year,
expressed in ears: 2,250,000.
* Ratio of the number of times President Bush has had his hair cut
this year to the number of times Bill Clinton has: 2:1.
* Estimated cost of a complete set of the 200 human body parts now
available in artificial form: $25,000,000.
* Number of the 20 U.S. communities applying to host nuclear-waste
dumpsites that are Indian reservations: 16.
* Amount spent to operate the U.S. prison system last year, per
prisoner: $20,296.
* Amount spent on welfare last year, per benefits recipient: $1,620.
* Percentage of Americans in their 20's who say that corruption is
"an important factor in getting ahead": 37.
------------------------------
Date: 3 Oct 92 08:30:03 GMT
From: gabe@angus.mi.org (B. Gabriel Helou)
Subject: A Grim Fairy Tale
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
I don't know where it originated, but I've seen this around the office
lately. It made me chuckle; it made me sigh.
-----
A Grim Fairy Tale
-----------------
Once upon a time, an American automobile company and a Japanese auto
company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River.
Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On
the big day, they were as ready as they could be.
The Japanese team won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their
moral sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the
crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement
Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to
recommend appropriate corrective action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people
rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person
rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee
immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management
structure.
After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded
that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent
losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was
changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff
Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the
boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma
performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought
to do it.
The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.
The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold
all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment,
halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to
the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the
senior executives.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 92 09:07:33 CST
From: forsythe@track29.lonestar.org (Charles Forsythe)
Subject: A movie we could see in 1993
To: eniac
It's the action/adventure sensation of the summer of '93!
The president of the United States is nearly forced to turn over the entire
nuclear arsenal to terrorists when they threaten to publish an ugly photo
of his daughter and disrupt her wedding by lobbing waterballoons into the
Rose Garden.
Luckily, the White House cook, played by Stephen Segal, kills every single
one of them and retreives the unflattering snapshot. For this, he is given
the Congressional Medal of Honor and a catering contract for the wedding.
Don't miss: UNDER SCRUTINY
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 2 Nov 92 19:30:03 EST
From: lesher@coral.bucknell.edu (Tim Lesher)
Subject: Calling Technical Support
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Found in the Questions log of the University Computer Center:
Problem: Can't get [Macintosh network] servers or Telnet to work properly.
Doesn't have any Appletalk zones, and LocalTalk shows no options.
... the whole lab seems to be having this problem.
Resolution: Someone plugged their answering machine into the AppleTalk
jack.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Oct 92 20:54 EST
From: * <@VM.CC.PURDUE.EDU:MARTIN@SCRANTON>
Subject: Chain Letter
To: SPAF
Dear Friend:
This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are very
interested in your lawn.
This is a fertilizer club, and it will not cost you a cent to join.
Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address on the top of the list
and shit on the lawn. You will not be the only one there, so do not be
embarrassed.
Make five copies of this letter with your name and adress added at the
bottom of the list and send them to five of your friends who appreciate
good lawns.
You will not receive any money or checks, but within one week, if this
chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people shitting on your lawn.
Your reward will come next year when you have the greenest lawn in the
neighborhood.
Mr. Harry Butts Mrs. Schmelly B. Hind
326 Corn Cob Alley 476 Rectum Place
Mr. Took A. Dudu Mr. G. Howie Phartz
734 Running Loose Ave. 529 Gashouse Road
Occupant Mr. A. Bigger Movement
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. 39 Suppository Lane
If you are constipated, please pass this along to your neighbor. DO NOT
BREAK THE CHAIN! One individual did't give a shit and he lost his
entire lawn.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1992 20:20:05 -0500
From: mckay!dwight@ecn.purdue.edu
Subject: Country music could be harmful to your health!
To: bob
"Country music, with its frequent themes of trouble in love, trouble at
work and alcohol abuse, nutures a suicidal mood among many whites, claim
sociologists Jim Gundlach of Auburn University and Steve Stack of Wayne
State University. A study of 49 metropolitan areas finds that the greater
the radio air time devoted locally to country music, the higher the white
suicide rate."
Where did I find this gem? Weekly World News you say? Nope. Wall Street
Journal, Novemeber 4, 1992.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 05 Nov 92 10:41:00 -0500
From: Bill Bormann <ad2@expert.cc.purdue.edu>
Subject: Country music could be harmful to your health!
To: bob
>> Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1992 20:20:05 -0500
>> To: bob@cs.purdue.edu
>> From: mckay!dwight@ecn.purdue.edu
>> Subject: Country music could be harmful to your health!
>>
>> "Country music, with its frequent themes of trouble in love, trouble at
>> work and alcohol abuse, nutures a suicidal mood among many whites, claim
>> sociologists Jim Gundlach of Auburn University and Steve Stack of Wayne
>> State University. A study of 49 metropolitan areas finds that the greater
>> the radio air time devoted locally to country music, the higher the white
>> suicide rate."
>>
>> Where did I find this gem? Weekly World News you say? Nope. Wall Street
>> Journal, Novemeber 4, 1992.
>> --Dwight D. McKay
I think this deserves further study ... rather than put PhD sociology
grads to work flipping hamburgers, maybe there a megazillion dollar
grant waiting for the right applicant. And, since this is clearly a
public health crisis, (white, Billy-Bobs driving a Chevy pick-up with
racked shot guns are at risk) we should require the FDA to approve
future Conway Twitty albums ...
Oh, who can tell me now
where is the knave
whom, to my shame, I loved,
and who betrayed my trust?
Ah! if I find the traitor
and he will not return to me,
I'll kill him most horribly
and tear out his heart.
(a matter-of-fact Donna Elvira, from Don Giovanni)
------------------------------
From: SCHENN@MARS.LERC.NASA.GOV, Ted Faber (faber@cs.wisc.edu)
Subject: Credit at the end of PBS's show, 'The Creation of the Universe'
The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas
Instruments. --- Credit at the end of PBS's show, 'The Creation
of the Universe'
[Yes, but who did they make the grant to? And what was the overhead rate? --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 2 Nov 92 12:43:38 EST
From: jfw@ksr.com (John F. Woods)
Subject: Doctor Dave Barry on the End of the World
To: eniac
On sci.space, they are discussing what happens if Comet Swift-Tuttle actually
does hit the Earth in 120 years; someone just quoted Dave Barry on the subject:
"What happens if a big asteroid hits the Earth? Judging from
realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common
laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad."
Dave Barry, "Well Dressed for Disaster"
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 17:03:28 -0500
From: heaphy (Kathleen A. Heaphy)
Subject: Funnies for Yucks
To: spaf
Here's the latest crop of misguided headlines and headlines from the
October 1992 issue of Washington Journalism Review magazine:
Armed, Female and Dangerous
Women with guns most likely to shoot hubby
-- Northwest Florida Daily News
The 50 Best Lawyers -- Why Women Are Buying Guns
-- Cover line on Washingtonian magazine
Quote of the Month
>From an article in the Trenton, New Jersey, Times:
"Cindy Pearson, program director of the group, said that
Reddy performed tests to prove the bikini condom's safety.
She described those tests as ery good.' "
(That last line is supposed to end with 'very good.' ")
Winning Headline of the Month
All One Big Happy Family Value
-- Irish Times, on the Republican convention
Say Again?
2 Doshi directors quit after firing
-- Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Patriot News
White House recalled
-- Richmond, Virginia, Times-Dispatch
Hillary wooing women for husband
-- Tucson, Arizona, Citizen
Ex-SS sergeant quiet neighbor, avid dancer
-- Gannett Suburban Newspapers, New York
Copy Editor on Holiday
>From the Petersburg, Virginia, Progress Index:
"After a three-hour operation involving heavy-duty inflatable bags,
a bulldozer, two wrecker trucks [and] an Army wench truck..."
Correction of the Month
>From the Personnel Journal:
"In June we didn't give credit to GE Medical Systems for the
photo on page 87. The drug Prozac was misspelled on page 94, as
was Coastline Counseling Center, page 95. Also in July, the
name of the American Association of Orthodontists was incorrect
on page 57. We appologize (sic)."
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 13:51:24 -0500
From: heaphy (Kathleen A. Heaphy)
Subject: funnies for Yucks Digest
To: spaf
from the November 1992 issue of Washington Journalism Review:
Out of Sight, Out of Range
>From a letter to the Miami Herald from Bill Crist, director of
the Transcendental Meditation News Service:
"A December 17 Herald article erroneously stated that
the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has abandoned his 10-year campaign
to reduce violent crime in Washington, D.C. ... [The campaign]
has not been abandoned; it has been moved to a safe distance."
Say Again?
Joke isn't funny; woman faces charges
(Columbia Missourian)
Husband eyes wife's seat on Taft council
(Bakersfield Californian)
Students want sex in classroom
(Santa Maria, California, Times)
Arson causes $250,000 damage to store
Meatball theft part of the crime
(Mount Washington Press, Cincinnati)
Can We Get Directions?
A playground schedule from the Hazelton Standard-Speaker
in Pennsylvania:
Monday: 11 a.m., frisbee; 1 p.m., arts and crafts; Tuesday:
11:30 a.m., Chinese jump rope; 1 to 2:30 p.m., drug and alcohol games;
Wednesday: fun day; Thursday: 11 a.m., volleyball; Friday: 11 a.m., kickball.
Copy Editors on Holiday
>From the Nashville Tennessean:
"Coach Steve Spurrier, who had planned to give the Gators
yesterday off, changed his behind and held a two-hour practice."
So Sorry
>From the Tampa Tribune:
"The man in this photograph taken the day after Hurricane
Andrew...was an employee of Publix Supermarkets who was carrying
groceries to hand out to storm victims with the store manager's
permission. The Tribune incorrectly identified him [in a photo
caption] as a looter."
------------------------------
Date: 2 Nov 92 21:17:40 GMT
From: barb@public.BTR.COM (Barbara MacRae)
Subject: Gerbil shaving and piercing
Newsgroups: rec.arts.bodyart
In article <1csa7pINNqse@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> af244@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Schochet) writes:
>
>
>Gerbils seem to come into season at such odds times of the year. Have
>you heard the new Christmas carol, "Here we come as Gerbilling...?"
I like 'Deck the halls with clumps of gerbils' m'self. Take 14 or 15
of them (more if they're really small), run a nice ribbon through
the retrieval rings in the backs of their necks, put a little holly
in there, tie it all together making an attractive bow, and voila!
A lovely holiday decoration that will last and last.
------------------------------
From: bill@cognet.ucla.edu (William M. Eldridge)
Subject: H. Ross Perot is L. Ron Hubbard
To: spaf
That's right, H. Ross Perot is really L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of
Scientology:
1) They both had pretty feeble stints in the Navy, but came out
glorifying their ineptness into "great character traits", while also
retaining the knack of wearing bad haircuts and unfashionable clothes.
2) Both managed to make millions/billions in scams, by misrepresenting
their spiritual and financial intentions, both leaving a wake of
morally and financially bankrupt clients.
"If you want to make millions, start a religion." - LRH
"If you want to make billions, start a data-base company" -HRP
3) Both take any personal affront as a sign of a deeper, full-fledged
conspiracy, and have managed to purloin this conspiracy paranoia into
a cadre of devout, unquestioning followers.
4) Both are ordained ministers of "simple-speak": throw a simple,
obvious solution at anything, and just proclaim that "that's all there
is to it."
5) Both hate the media, because the media invariably digs up the
"negative", so they've become power freaks when confronting any
intelligent cross-examination of their past.
6) Both think they're saviours, leading their followers on a moral
crusade.
7) Both are what William Burroughs, an ex-Scientologist and infamous
novelist, refers to as "right-virus fuckers, who always have to be
right, and ridding the earth of these bastards would solve most of the
world's problems."
When someone asked William Burroughs if he'd ever done anything he
regretted, Burroughs responded:
"MY GAWDD, I try to get through one day without doing anything I'll
regret."
Vote Burroughs '92 for President: the only self-avowed faggot junkie
who shot his wife and wrote officially condemned pornography, and
believes in organized interplanetary virus conspiracies.
Campaign slogan: "When you're this fucked up, lying is useless" A
truly honest man.
And after all, Bush himself has declared that charcter is the issue.
P.S. Burroughs also survived as an unemployed junkie in Mexico City,
Paris, and Morocco, so not only does he understand international
business, he understand what street people need to survive in the
gutters with no money, something needed in the America of the 21st
Century. Vote with your arms, vote Burroughs.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 17:11:18 PST
From: lsc@Eng.Sun.COM
Subject: hair
To: eniac
------- Forwarded Message
From: Jeanne Munson
Just read "The Big Bow Mystery", which if I had a "top ten" favorite
mystery novel list, this book would figure prominently. First off, it was
written in 1895. Secondly, it was written by a man with the lyrical name
of Israel Zangwill. Thirdly, it was some wonderful one-liners.
"He took life very seriously. He never wrote comic verse intentionally."
"There are three reasons why men of genius have long hair. One is that
they forget it is growing. The second is that they like it. The third
reason is that it comes cheaper; they wear it long for the same
reason they wear their hats long. Owing to this peculiarity of genius,
you may get quite a reputation for lack of two pence."
------- End of Forwarded Message
[How about men of genius with receding hairlines? --spaf, feeling left out again]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 05 Oct 92 11:14:40 PDT
From: Lisa.Chabot@Eng.Sun.COM
Subject: history lessen for the day
To: eniac
This article appeared in today's (9/92) Austin American-Stateman.
by RUDYARD HENBANE
Associated Press Writer
PRILEP, Yugoslavia (AP) -- Outside a small Macedonian village close to
the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic
nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last
caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning
more than 2,000 years.
When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, the
convent of St. Elias will be closed by the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of
Macedonia.
However, that isn't likely to happen soon as Sister Maria, 53, enjoys
excellent health.
By her own estimate, she walks 10 miles daily about the grounds of the
convent, which once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In
more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied
the hilltop site. Historians say that Attila took over the old temple
in 439 A.D. and used it as a base for his marauding army.
The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large
gathering of Greek legal writs at the site.
It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system, and
had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. Scholars
differ on why he had the valuable documents destroyed--either because he
was barely literate and couldn't read them, or because they provided
evidence of democratic government that did not square with his own
notion of rule by an all-powerful tyrant.
When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the
convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros
destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is
only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base.
And that's how it ends: No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on
base.
The author of this magnificent abomination is Ron Gibson, editorial
manager of Texas Student Publications at the University of Texas. It
appeared in Mike Kelley's column, to Mike's large credit.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 92 4:30:04 EST
From: jbrdc@lhdsy1.UUCP (David C. Brock)
Subject: irony on ba.jobs.offered
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
I don't know if anybody else on the ba.jobs.offered newsgroup noticed this.
Apparently, Company X (Name changed to protect the guilty) had a problem...
> Article: xxxx of ba.jobs.offered
> From: <name deleted>
> Subject: SYS ADMIN - PLEASE RE-APPLY - RESPONSES LOST - Company X
> Date: 25 Jun 92 23:11:52 GMT
>
> PLEASE RE-SEND YOUR RESP0NSE TO THIS POSTING. A ROUTING PROBLEM SENT YOUR
> RESPONSES TO IOWA AND THEN WHO KNOWS WHERE ! ! !
> THANK YOU
They then went on to repeat their original ad, describing themselves thus:
> ...We are a market-driven
> company providing software products to help customers face the problems of
> document and workflow management, resulting in increased effectiveness...
I guess their products still need some work...
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 14:07:48 CST
From: Rob Knauerhase <rob@zorro.cecer.army.mil>
Subject: Now's the time to buy a home
To: yucks
I was encouraged by the recent news that housing starts were up. However,
my good feelings were dashed when I heard the following commercial on a local
radio station:
"Northwood Home Sales is offering a free family portrait with the
purchase of any new home."
Can you just imagine it now? Hubby is on the way home from work, hears that
commercial, and rushes into the apartment shouting "Honey, quick! Now's the
time to get that dream home."
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 02 Nov 92 09:38:39 -0400
From: emsca!io!poc@Sun.COM
Subject: So that explains it ...
To: emsca!sun!spaf%cs.purdue.edu@Sun.COM
Six days after the Creation, Adam was still alone in the Garden of
Eden, and getting pretty desperate. "God!" he cried, "rescue me from
loneliness and despair! Send some company for Your sake!"
God replied "OK, I have just the thing. Keep you warm and relaxed all
the days of your life. Never complains. Looks up to you in every way.
It'll cost you though".
"Sounds ideal" said Adam. "The society of the beasts of the field and
the birds of the air palls after a while. What's the price?"
"An arm and a leg", said God.
Adam thought about it for a bit and finally said:
"What can I get for a rib?"
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 2 Nov 92 13:01:02 EST
From: jfw@ksr.com (John F. Woods)
Subject: The Major Political Parties on the End of the World
To: eniac
Having already quoted Dave Barry, and having read a few dozen more sci.space
articles (:-), it occurs to me to wonder about what kind of a platform plank
the major political parties would have in response to Comet Swift-Tuttle...
Democrats: a massive public works project to build a giant baseball
bat operated from a coal-fired steam engine; projected
completion date sometime in 2673AD.
Republicans: a proposal for $100 vouchers for space transportation
to some other planet; said vouchers will not actually be
*issued* in order to avoid spending any of the public's
money on the problem.
Libertarians: short insurance companies and live it up if you can.
Greens: no plank; delegates evenly split on proposals to (a) declare
the Earth a comet-free zone and (b) to actively prevent any
attempt to avoid having humanity exterminated by the impact.
Perot: he'll just *buy* the damned thing.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 21:30:47 CST
From: meo@austin.ibm.com (Miles ONeal)
Subject: we be roadkill
To: spaf (Gene Spafford)
Doug Hosking at OSF sent this in to the HQ for Roadkills-R-Us.
|There's an informal policy here of people putting their pictures
|outside their doors, apparently as a way for everyone to get to
|know everyone else a little easier. It's widely ignored, though
|some people have used it as an opportunity to put up creative
|pictures that have nothing to do with themselves. The guy across
|the hall from me tends to change his very frequently, and often has
|some interesting and unusual ones to display. The most recent one
|is a close-up of a highway lane stripe, freshly painted. Unfortunately,
|a squirrel was apparently on the lane boundary when the paint truck passed.
|Splat! with a bright stripe of yellow across the remains.
[Life's like that sometimes.... --spaf]
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------