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Yucks Digest V2 #43
Yucks Digest Mon, 10 Aug 92 Volume 2 : Issue 43
Today's Topics:
A desperate situation
Another wise-ass in the making
Are you a Techno-Dweeb ?
Awareness Awareness Week
body painting
burning questions of our time
cat shit
File 1--Day (in court) of The Dead
Good eye doctors are hard to find.
i have to share this....
It hard to be politically correct
Lines of working code
more on Campaign 1892
New OS for PC
Olympic TV coverage
Quayle's nemesis
Spaf! Here's your car!
User interface studies: oh, what's the use?
What to wear to interview
yucks submission...
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual,
the sometimes risque, the possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.
It is issued on a semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present
themselves.
Back issues and subscriptions can be obtained using a mail server. Send
mail to "yucks-request@cs.purdue.edu" with a "Subject:" line of the single
word "help" for instructions.
Submissions and problem reports should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rose@wagner.cbs.umn.edu (Rozalie Enriquez)
Subject: A desperate situation
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Hello Everyone,
I have this problem, and I was wondering if someone out there could
help me...
2 weeks ago I met a great guy with whom I was instantly enamored.
1 week ago we moved in together, absolutely sure that this
relationship was the real thing. Since then, however, I've
noticed some subtle but strange habits that he has. For instance,
every night at 9 he puts 5 Billy Idol CDs into the disc changer,
cranks the volume and sets it on random play. Then for the next
2 hours he terrorizes my pet Iguana Clyde, chasing him around
with a wooden baseball bat between his legs, screaming:
"TASTES GREAT!!!! LESS FILLING!!!!"
Now, call me old fashioned, but I believe it is detrimental for a
young, energetic iguana to be forced to develop a conditioned
fear of Billy Idol. Obvoiusly this situation is creating some
strain on our relationship as my favorite baseball bat is getting
pretty nicked up on the furniture.
I'm still absolutely crazy about him, and need your advice:
Do you think buying an alumnium baseball bat would solve the
problem and strengthen our relationship?
signed, owner of a frightened lizard.
------------------------------
From: Mike Arras <arras@forwiss.uni-erlangen.de>
Subject: Another wise-ass in the making
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the
kitchen, listening to her son playing with his new electric train, in
the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of
you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now 'cause this is
the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get
your asses in the train 'cause we are leaving!"
The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind
of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two
hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want
you to use nice language."
Two hours later, her son came out of his room and resumed
playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard
her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please
remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for
riding with us today, and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope
you will ride with us again soon."
"For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of
your hand luggage under the seat. Remember there is no smoking except
in the club car. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
journey with us today."
"For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay,
please see the bitch in the kitchen."
------------------------------
Date: 3 Aug 92 23:30:03 GMT
From: RITTERBUS001@WCSUB.CTSTATEU.EDU
Subject: Are you a Techno-Dweeb ?
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
ARE YOU A TECHNO-DWEEB?
Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities?
Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive.
If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with
Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a
Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone!
Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number
in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody
right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling
passes.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TECHNO-DWEEB WHEN...
When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you
reply "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!"
When driving you see a license plate with the letters DSR, and
you feel compelled to touch your bumper to the other car to see
if you can raise CD.
When you are counting objects "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you lay down in the afternoon for a short rest, end up
sleeping 4 hours, and call it a "mega-nap".
When your friend is going to Essex for vacation and you tell her,
"You really should go for the DX, it has the built in
co-processor."
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32
bits.
When you have to go to the bathroom, but you wait until bladder
meltdown, since "goto" is bad programming style.
When you convince yourself that Tetris really does improve
eye-hand coordination.
When the radio traffic reporter talks about a backup caused by a
crash, and you correct her that a backup is good protection
in case of a crash.
When floppy drive applies more to your love life, and hard drive
to your machines.
When you call "*.*" star-dot-star.
When you can do hexadecimal arithmatic in your head.
When your wife goes to the market for some macintosh apples, and
you correct her, "No, dear, it's 'Apple Macintosh'."
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and
come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise
her for for omitting the else clause.
------------------------------
Date: 30 Jul 92 23:30:03 GMT
From: CARRDAVID@urvax.urich.edu (David B. Carr)
Subject: Awareness Awareness Week
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Credit for this goes to Kyle Miller, a humorist for the paper here on campus,
but I laughed so much when I read it that I thought the netters might
appreciate it too.
Background:
For the past few weeks, the University has held a series of awareness weeks.
These events, coupled with some campus controversy surrounding the events of
black history month and womens history month prompted the idea for another
awareness week.
Awareness Awareness Week
Did you know:
47 percent of all Americans are unaware.
One out of every six unaware Americans are not even aware that they are
unaware.
Every five seconds, another Ameican becomes aware.
There are currently fifty awareness anonymous centers in the country.
Don't let this horrible affliction destroy our great country! Get involved.
The following is a schedule of events for Awareness Awareness Week:
Monday: Keynote speaker. Topic: "Beware! Be aware."
Tuesday: "Wake up and smell the coffee", a multimedia presentation.
Wednesday: "Complete cluelessness - There's still no cure", a seminar conducted
by the department of psychology.
Thursday: "I once was clueless", the true story of a recovered unawareaholic
Friday: An all-day awareness demonstration. Each person that you do not notice
today represents 30 unaware people nationwide.
------------------------------
Date: 7 Aug 92 20:20:39 GMT
From: zaphod@ctrg.rri.uwo.ca (Lance R. Bailey)
Subject: body painting
Newsgroups: rec.arts.bodyart
a while back we discussed body painting ala goldfinger and whether or not
it is fatal. Following is an article from the August 9th edition of the
Medical Post. (reproduced without permission 'natch). it has a full back
shot and a waist up front shot. man -- this guy (shaved head and all)
was BLUE.
THWARTED LOVER GETS THE BLUES -- Pippa Wysong
New York - When a man covered in tinted lacquer entered a German hospital,
doctors knew right away he was feeling blue.
In fact, the man had covered himself entirely with blue-tinted lacquer in a
suicide attempt after a failed romance. He had heard the gold-covered model
in the opening credits in the James Bond movie "Goldfinger" had died from
complications of whole-body paint and thought that was the way to go.
The 22-year-old latter-day Werther thought he would die of slow
asphyxiation, but the doctors were more worried about the lacquer's
possible toxic effects.
At the recent 18th annual World Congress of Dermatology and Allergology in
Augsburg, Germany, Dr. Robert Plier, professor of medicine at the Clinic of
Dermatology, outlined the doctors' attempts at treating their blue
patient.
Even though he was covered in lacquer, the patient was still getting ample
oxygen, "Oxygen intake by the skin is only 2% of the whole body's intake," Dr.
Plier said in an interview.
After tracking down the type of lacquer (an alkyd resin) and the brand,
doctors found their patient was in no danger of suffering toxic effects.
"The color particles are surrounded by polyesters. Usually they can't be
absorbed," Dr. Plier said.
Some lacquers, however, contain phenol, a substance that can cause kidney
and liver toxicity. "Other possible dangers of this are toxic dermatitis by
solvents or other substances inside the lacquer."
If the lacquer had contained other irritating or toxic substances, the
patient could have ended up with blisters or red skin.
In this particular case, the patient wasn't in danger. It turned out the
worst thing doctors could have done would have been to try to remove the
lacquer. "You could endanger the patient by trying to remove it with organic
solvents. they are all toxic." he said.
The patient didn't even suffer from hypothermia, something one would
expect with overall coating of the skin. Eventually doctors let the patient
go, advising him the lacquer would eventually peel off.
The patient was "quite satisfied by betting so much attention. He did it a
second time two weeks later," Dr. Pleir said. But the second time he decided
to sweeten things up a bit and added sugar to the lacquer.
Both times the patient refused psychiatric help.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 06 Aug 92 18:19:00 PDT
From: Scott Fisher <sfisher@wsl.dec.com>
Subject: burning questions of our time
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
[why are some cable channels louder than others]
Do you want the technical reason, the psychological reason, or a
suitably creative eniac reason?
>A and C, please
>B i already figured out
In addition to the posted reason for A, I remember reading an interesting
factoid about commercials and volume levels. The FCC has restrictions on
standard volume levels, and commercials aren't supposed to be louder than
the standard volume level of the show that goes on around them.
However, the volume level of a typical show has a much greater dynamic
range than that of a typical commercial. The hero whispers sweet nothings
into someone's ear, then fires a .44 magnum at an offending punk. High
dynamic range between the two extremes.
A commercial, on the other hand, often puts the WHOLE thing much closer
to the high end of the permissible dynamic range, whether it's the
annoying ad jingle or the screeching of the narrator. So while the
show you're watching might have long pauses, bits of low-volume dialogue,
or other fairly low-intensity sound effects punctuated by bits of higher
volume, the commercial is focused up at the top end of the range for much
more of its duration.
The aCtual reason, of course, is that subliminal messages are being
broadcast on a second audio channel, requiring a higher volume level
to cover up the masked messages. Just as the original subliminal
messages (such as the classic to "Buy popcorn" flashed on single
frames in a movie theater) were masked by the higher signal rate of
the film frames, modern subliminal mind-control messages are masked
by the amplitude of the carrier. Early experiments with Ozzy Osbourne
records indicated that unless there was sufficient volume in the
mask, the actual message could be heard, where the conscious mind
would be able to reject it along with other conventional forms of
advertisement or other types of indoctrination. The key to its
success lies in the message being completely (at least to careful
scrutiny) subsumed by the mask.
The process is stalling, however. In fact, tougher noise pollution
standards recently adopted by the EPA required severe cutbacks in the
duration and frequency of these secret subliminal messages, which means
fewer people are receiving the mind-control instructions directly. This
is considered by the Greys to be one of the direct causes of the current
US and world economic slumps; no one is being HypnAudially (TM) instructed
to Buy More Stuff, so the economy takes a dive.
--Scott "A Reagan administration study proved this" Fisher
------------------------------
Date: 11 Jul 91 06:46:38 GMT
From: dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au (Andrew Clayton)
Subject: cat shit
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
In article <1490@masterCNA.TEK.COM>, Dan Beougher writes:
> The cork is not a good solution. A friend of mine had a cat that
> stopped up because of a hair ball. He looked like Garfield after a
> couple of days. He spent most of his hours humped over a
> heap of kitty litter trying to dump. Finally his owner took pity
> on Kitty and gave him an enema via a turkey baster. A good healthy
> squish did the trick. Tuna oil, Kitty-kibbles, an old bird,
> Meow Mix and fish guts flew like snowflakes outa that cat. He crapped
> in, around, and on everything in the house. When he finally appeared
> to be through he farted for another hour. The cat passed his
> last and the ordeal appeared to be finished. But now the cat
> begs for enemas. He waddles up and mews, sporting a splendid woody.
In a year blessed with no wit, this comes up and ruins the
perfect record.
Out out, damned cat.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 92 2:33:02 CDT
From: bei@DOGFACE.AUSTIN.TX.US(Bob Izenberg)
Subject: File 1--Day (in court) of The Dead
[ The following was a submission to the Computer Underground Digest.
This was prompted by discussion of AT&T filing a lawsuit against BSDI
and Berkeley over trade secret infringement, and over Bellcore trying
to intimidate the publisher of 2600 Magazine. What I found amusing (or
not) is that I know some lawyers who could write such a letter. --spaf]
>From:
Bandit, Shylock and Trackshoes
A Kinda Professional Corporation
>To:
Homo Sapiens
Dear Infringing Species,
It has come to our attention that you have been utilizing anatomical
developments pioneered by several of our clients, the dinosaurs, in your
everyday activities. This letter is to notify you that the dinosaurs
consider these features to be an infringement of dinosaur development,
which has been a documented fact in the scientific community for decades.
Said features are proprietary to the dinosaurs, and their duplication
represents a substantial harm to the saurian reputation and ability to
survive and thrive in a challenging evolutionary climate.
This letter is to formally advise you that the process of bipedal locomotion,
hereafter called "walking", is an activity the dinosaurs are prepared to
demonstrate that they have employed for thousands of years. Continued
use of your legs for locomotion on land will be considered actionable. In
addition, any evolutionary developments that you may have reason to believe
were first present in the dinosaurs must no longer be used by your species.
This includes all digestive and reproductive organs, and much of your
circulatory system. The dinosaurs will vigorously defend their hard-won
evolutionary developments by any and all means available to them, including
but not limited to injunctive relief, monetary damages, and gobbling alive,
against all members of your species and any evolutionary descendants.
We trust that you fully understand the dinosaur position on this matter.
Sincerely,
------------------------------
From: Henry_Cate_III's 'Life'. (Cate3.OSBU_North@xerox.com)
Subject: Good eye doctors are hard to find.
A visitor to one of the Aleutian Islands, off Alaska, broke his glasses.
He was told by his guide that he couldn't get the glasses repaired until
he returned to a city in Alaska.
"You mean there aren't any optometrists on the island?" said the man.
"If you see one," replied the guide, "it will just be an optical Aleutian.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 03 Aug 92 10:16:27 EST
From: rad
Subject: i have to share this....
To: faculty
...this is what happens when a junior co-author learns
how to be a wiseguy from the senior co-author....
jeff offutt and i are finishing the last revision of
a paper after suffering through a series of particularly
petulant and incompetent reviews from one of the referees...
...in the acknowledgements jeff says "We would like to thank the
referees for significantly contributing to the quality of this
paper, particularly referee #1 for clearly expressing many
inaccuracies and misunderstandings..."
------------------------------
Date: 4 Aug 92 23:30:03 GMT
From: bobm@armstrong.edu (Bob Matthews)
Subject: It hard to be politically correct
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Paraphrased from the July 1, 1992 issue of "The Chronicle
of Higher Education."
"Women's-Studies Group, Hoping to Heal Wounds, Finds
More Conflict"
"This year's annual meeting of the National Women's Studies
Association was supposed to heal fractures that crippled the
organization...
"Within half an hour of the opening of the conference ... the keynote
speaker had offended lesbian women by making what were described as
heterosexist remarks. Other women complained that a white women
should not have been selected to start [the] conference..."
Then meeting organizers apologized "to Jewish conferees who had been
inconvenienced by the Friday-night session...
"Later that evening, some 'eco-feminists' ... complained that every
meal served at the conference included meat.
"Finally, one conferee complained that participants should be asked
to forgo hair spray and perfume, which allergy sufferers might find
irritating."
Said Ms. Wilma Boddie-Beaman of NWSA's steering committee "'If I had
my wish, we would stop comparing ourselves to other organizations.
We're different.'"
------------------------------
Date: 3 Aug 92 23:43:02 GMT
From: artk@Congruent.COM (Arthur Kreitman)
Subject: Lines of working code
Newsgroups: misc.jobs.misc
>(Lee Whitney) writes:
> 1. There are no older people in software development.
>
> Where do programmers go when they turn 35? When I was introduced to
> the teams for some major products on the market, the average age
> seemed to be less than 30. Beyond that, there seemed to few 'older'
> people at most other positions in the companies too. I am somewhat
> concerned that after 10 years in this industry I will magically
> disappear.
It has to do with the number of lines of code you're born with. Everyone
is born with a certain number of working lines of code. After you write that
last one, you can NEVER write another line of code that works. Some are
born with more, some with less. But the number is fixed at birth. You can't
buy, steal, or borrow any. By 35 or so, most people have run out of working
lines of code.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 03 Aug 92 08:52:28 -0500
From: "John F. Woods" <jfw@jfwhome.funhouse.com>
Subject: more on Campaign 1892
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
>From this morning's Boston Globe:
"Then Bush responded to questions about whether he would drop out of the
race [raised by an editorial in an influential Republican newspaper] by
holding up a half-eaten ear of corn to the questioners, a gesture he did
not explain."
Finally, a President who truly understands Zen. I'm gonna have to re-think
my election preferences.
------------------------------
Date: 5 Aug 92 07:20:08 GMT
From: bateman@nsslsun.nssl.uoknor.edu (Monte Bateman)
Subject: New OS for PC
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
[ Stolen from _InfoWorld_, Robert X. Cringely's column ]
Announced today was a new operating system for the PC.
It is called "DOS/Perot". When you boot it, it displays
a message on the screen saying it's thinking of running.
It then scans the hard drive, looking for competing OS's.
If any competing OS's are found, it quits immediately.
------------------------------
Date: 8 Aug 92 07:20:08 GMT
From: whillock@src.honeywell.com (Rand Whillock)
Subject: Olympic TV coverage
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From last nights Olympic prime time TV coverage
Hello this is Bob C., we are ready to bring you a full night of Olympic
events. First up, lets go to the basketball arena where the dream team is
taking on Puerto Rico.
Thanks Bob, We are ready for the tip-off. Its up and Jordan
controls the ball for the US. He sprints down court and slams
it home with a tomahawk jam. Puerto Rico: 2-0.
This is Bob C. again. As we see the US team has things well in hand so
I will concede the game to them so we can bring you other events. Later
on we'll show you any highlights we feel you need to see. Coming up
tonight is the semi-final round of the hop skip and jump contest, an up
and coming demonstration sport where the US team's only hope for a medal
lies with an injured orphan girl who has promised to bring back a gold
medal for her dying brother.
Later in our "where are they now" segment we will bring you an interview
with the first person to ever wear Nike shoes in a track event, you may
be surprised at who it is.
Before that though, we will bring you a premier Eric Clapton video salute
to the men's underwater ping pong team. Its an emotional tribute to
their team captain who was killed earlier this year in a freak serving
accident. You will not want to miss it.
But first we will send you back to your local stations for 15 minutes of
commercials including one telling you which events you could be watching
right now if you had purchased our over priced cable coverage...
------------------------------
Date: 5 Aug 92 16:20:08 GMT
From: scott@techbook.com (Scott Huddleston)
Subject: Quayle's nemesis
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
My wife read this in the Oregonian, Portland's newspaper:
Why is Dan Quayle so afraid of Albert Gore? Because Gore is from that
state with all the "e"s.
[Red Skelton, an Indiana native, was in Indy this weekend to receive an
award. He was asked about Dan Quayle and said "Dan was asked to spell
'Mississippi'. He replied, 'Which one? The river or the state?' "
This confirms my long-standing admiration for Mr. Skelton. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 01 Aug 92 12:53:32 EST
From: Gene Spafford <spaf@uther.cs.purdue.edu>
Subject: Spaf! Here's your car!
To: dls@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
> To: bob
> Subject: Spaf! Here's your car!
> Date: Fri, 31 Jul 92 19:50:02 -0500
> From: dls@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
>
> >1982 Olds Custom Cruiser (Big Station Wagon)
> >
> >No rust, all power (except seat adjustment),
> >cold A/C, casette, cruise and tilt.
> >
> >Asking $1250
>
> Of course, I'd wonder about the "tilt"; probably just a suspension
> problem. Luckily, the A/C is cold; I hate those hot air conditioners. And
> it is kind of funny how it can be omnipotent, but not able to adjust the
> seat. But overall, it sounds like your kind of battle wagon... :-)
>
> +-DLS
Hmm, The "all power" bit does sound promising, but having no rust
means it probably doesn't look menacing enough. I'm not sure what
"casette" is, but if "cruise" means "missile" then that may be why the
car tilts.
Actually, maybe the author meant to say that all power in the car is
cold alternating current (A/C) EXCEPT for the seat adjustment. That
would mean it is equipped with an A/C generator rather than that wimpy
12 volt DC stuff in regular cars. It sure would come in handy
powering the cruise missle's launcher, don't you think? Still, that
"cold" part doesn't quite make sense, unless ...could it be?.... the
car is outfitted with superconducting power transmission! Now we're
definitely talking my kind of monster wagon! How come you didn't
include the phone number so I could talk to the guy who's selling
this? :-)
------------------------------
Date: 31 Jul 92 16:04 -0700
From: Robert Slade <rslade@cue.bc.ca>
Subject: User interface studies: oh, what's the use?
Newsgroups: comp.risks
To bank to make deposits and withdrawal for lunch money. Chat with neighbour
while Sweet Old Thing (i.e., my age) dithers with machine. Murmur from SOT:
"Oh, dear. I have to make a deposit." Neighbour points out "deposit" key.
More chat with neighbour. Murmur from SOT: "Does the stripe go up?" Neighbour
points out picture of card (showing orientation) above slot. More chat with
neighbour. Murmur from SOT: "It's still not going it." (ATM has by this time,
shut down.)
(Still need to deposit and withdraw. Look at lineup for tellers. Recall last
time I used "manual" cashier: no lineup at cashier, five people in line for
ATM. Thought I was really smart until realized that all five people at ATM
have completed transactions before I got my money. Decide to eat at "golden
arches".)
Go to Skytrain station. Couple (of SOTs) at next ticket machine looking very
worried. Take bill from wallet. Accidentally tear bill. Replace bill in
wallet, take other. Complete transaction with ticket machine. Couple at
next machine: "How do you work this?" Point out large legend at top. A:
look at map, check how many zones to cross; B: push button for number of
zones (machine displays price); C: put money in (pictures of acceptable coins
over coin slot, acceptable bills over bill slot); D: take ticket. Point
out large A by map, B by buttons, etc. Couple goes back to worrying in
front of next ticket machine.
Recall study on data base interface. Experimental systems: two commercial
systems, three diverse experimental interfaces, one super-deluxe-easy-to-
use-never-meant-to-be-implemented-because-*too*-easy-and-takes-too-much-
processing-power-to-run inteface. Super-deluxe is natural language interface.
Results show no benefit from any system. Further (frantic) investigation
reveals subjects, normal data base users, cannot consistently make query in own
native language.
Become very depressed.
------------------------------
From: McBeanB@BrandonU.Ca
Subject: What to wear to interview
Newsgroups: misc.jobs.offered.entry
So I have this interview for an entry level qc type chemist
position at a chemical plant that does things with pregnant mare's
urine. The interview is Friday (August 14?)...
I was thinking of wearing a suit and tie and the whole shebang,
but what if we take an inevitable tour through the plant and my
suit forever smells like urine? I only have one suit, and it's really nice
and I'd like to keep it that way. Maybe this sounds trivial, but what
should I wear to impress the interviewer, but not damage my humble
wardrobe?
[Umm, what kind of tour is this guy expecting? "Now, if we swim across
this vat, we'll see the final assembly room." --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Aug 1992 16:35:40 -0400
From: mark <mtorpey@bigmax.ulowell.edu>
Subject: yucks submission...
To: spaf
You may not believe the following story (which is true), but I think you
will all get a kick out of it anyways...
Two of my aunts were driving up here from West Virginia this past weekend
to visit my family... Anyways, they got lost somewheres in New Jersey so
they stopped for directions. They pulled into a McDonalds, and happened
to notice a big "Welcome to Gotham City" banner on the wall (you know
-- as an advertisment for the Batman movies..)
Well, I guess you can all imagine what happens next. Ok. One of my
aunts ask's the cashier girl for directions back to the interstate (or
something like that) and mentioned that they know they are in "Gotham
City" but cannot find it on the map. (Sounds kindof hard to believe, huh)
The girl at the register starts cracking up, along with everyone that
had overheard my aunt talking. She got a bit ticked off, and asked to
see the manager (she still thinks she is in Gotham). The manager comes
out and listens to my aunts story. He breaks a smile, and decides to
play along (my kindof guy).
So he tells my aunt that "well, you could take I98, but a truck carrying
kryptonite just fell over, and it was causing a curiosity gridlock."
By this time, I'm told everyone in McDonalds was rolling around on the floor
trying to stop from laughing their drinks out of their noses. So anyways
my aunts finally realized that they were not in Gotham city, and the manager
gave them directions back onto the highway.
A couple hours later, they were getting tired and it was getting late so
they decided to stop in at a hotel, so they pulled into a Hotel 6. Next
my aunt starts thinking about some radio announcer's offer that if you
mention his name and the radio station (something like "Bob from WLkP send
me"), you will get a $20 discount for the room at any Hotel 8.. They go
into the hotel and request the rooms and told the person at the desk
that "Bob soandso send me from WlKP. Do we get $20 off our rooms?"
The person at the desk told them "Why yes, you would get a $20 discount
had you gone to a Hotel 8. However this is a Hotel 6!"
[Well, he did say they were from West Virginia.... --spaf]
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------