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Yucks Digest V2 #9 (shorts)
Yucks Digest Tue, 4 Feb 92 Volume 2 : Issue 9
Today's Topics:
Administrivia
_bushusuru_ (2 msgs)
A saw this in comp.unix.wizards and thought it was funny
A Truly Unbeatable Offer
Communications Problem (Ontological?)
linda
Nomenclature
Plate-licking dog joke
Wallet Saves Man From Bullet
Who are they TALKING to?
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual,
the sometimes risque, the possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.
It is issued on a semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present
themselves.
Back issues and subscriptions can be obtained using a mail server. Send
mail to "yucks-request@cs.purdue.edu" with a "Subject:" line of the single
word "help" for instructions.
Submissions and problem reports should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu
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Date: Tue Feb 4 21:05:56 EST 1992
From: spaf
Subject: Administrivia
To: yucks
Thanks to everyone who responded to my questions. I have not yet
decided what to do about the ftp/mail archives (many people use both),
and I will let you know when I do. You can get an index of past
digests by sending mail to yucks-request@purdue.edu with no subject
line and a message body of simply the word "index".
The "To:" headers will stay. Some of you wanted them, and the rest
didn't care.
I got many people commenting on the length of the digests and on the
length of individual items. So, to try to make things a little
simpler, starting with this digest of Yucks, I will have two kinds of
digests: smaller digests with only short items, and longer digests
with more substantial material (usually long lists, satire, etc). The
short lists will have the designator "(shorts)" in the subject line.
Long digests should not exceed 32K in length.
If you don't want to read anything longer than a single screen, you
can drop the ones not labeled "(shorts)" -- but you'll miss out on
some of the effect. :-)
I will also take advice to heart and be a little more selective about
the content. However, I only got two complaints about over-broad
acceptance, and about 15 comments that the contents are "just right,"
so.... As Wilde said (I think it was him): "Nothing succeeds like
excess."
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Date: Sun, 2 Feb 92 18:37:46 EST
From: weemba@libra.wistar.upenn.edu
Subject: _bushusuru_
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
On the front page of today's San Jose Mercury News there's an article
on a new word that has entered the Japanese vocabulary. The article
is entitled - "Bush left upheaval in Japanese vocabulary".
The new word is _Bushusuru_: to do a Bush. The usage is as follows:
man in trench coat (pointing to sidewalk): "Abunai yo!"
(Hey, watch out!)
man in dark suit (looking down): "Jaa, dare ga
Bushushita, ne!" (Jeez, somebody did a Bush,
didn't they!)
There's even a trained-monkey act where when the animal hears the word
_Bushusuru_ it imitates the act that the old Pres did onto Japanese
Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa's lap.
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Date: Mon, 3 Feb 92 16:04:25 -0800
From: jmg@CS.UCLA.EDU (James M Goodwin)
Subject: _Bushusuru_
Yes, that is now established usage. While asking our japanese
friends about that, it was pointed out that there is precedent.
They previously built into the language the word _reagansuru_.
It means to forget things (coveniently).
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Date: 2 Feb 92 00:30:05 GMT
From: imp@solbourne.com (Warner Losh)
Subject: A saw this in comp.unix.wizards and thought it was funny
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
I saw this in comp.unix.wizards. I think it belongs here...
Warner
From: jim@cs.strath.ac.uk (Jim Reid)
In article <1991Dec6.023729.19328@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
creiman@ncsa.uiuc.edu (Charlie Reiman) writes:
Email or post, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not paying for the bandwidth.
There it is: a summary of USENET in 14 words.
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Date: Mon, 3 Feb 92 20:02:21 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: A Truly Unbeatable Offer
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU
>From the February 1 San Francisco Chronicle Classifieds,
(510) Articles for Sale:
CONDOMS (Lifestyles) 29 cases
of 144 packs. $1.75 per 12-pack
Buyer takes all. 510-796-8019.
For those who prefer to watch others do the math, that's 50,112
total "items," $7308.00 total cost, and a terrific unit cost of
only 14.58 cents a pop (as it were).
Assuming one day of rest every 4 years, 50112 / 365 yields 137
years, truly a "lifetime supply."
------------------------------
Date: 4 Feb 92 00:30:05 GMT
From: jrl@sei.cmu.edu (John Leary)
Subject: Communications Problem (Ontological?)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
--attributed by Washington Technology (a beltway industry paper) to James
Schlesinger (a senior DoD Executive) from a recent Washington DC luncheon
keynote address; (remarks are paraphrased to some degree):
--"In managing the DoD there are many unexpected communications
problems: For instance, when the Marines are ordered to "secure a
building", they form a landing party and assault it. On the
otherhand, the same instructions will lead the Army to occupy the
building with a troop of infantry, and the Navy will
characteristically respond by sending a yeoman to assure that the
building lights are turned out. When the Air Force acts on these
instructions, what results is a 'three year lease with option to
purchase'."
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 92 23:38:07 -0800
From: rissa@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us (Patricia O Tuama)
Subject: linda
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
from the 1/19/92 New York Times, "David Gelernter's Romance with
Linda" (sect 3, p1,6)
When it came time to name the language, Mr Gelernter said he noted
that Ada was named after Ada Augusta Lovelace, the daughter of Lord
Byron, the English poet. Miss Lovelace is regarded as the first
computer programmer because she worked for the computer pioneer
Charles Babbage.
Another woman named Lovelace was in the news when Mr Gelernter was
casting about for a name -- Linda Lovelace, a star of pornographic
films. So he named the language Linda, and it stuck. Asked about it
now, Mr Gelernter grins and shrugs, "I was a graduate student at the
time," he said.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1992 16:38:17 GMT
From: scott@DSG.Tandem.COM (Scott Hazen Mueller)
Newsgroup: news.admin?
Subject: Nomenclature
Recently it has come to my attention that one of the other correspondents
in these groups (news.admin and news.software.b) has been using the notional
concept of Henry Spencering to refer to the rejection of a Usenet article
by the news transport for incorrect headerogony. Were I Mr. Spencer, I would
be most tempted to John Palmer, or at least Kent Paul Dolan, the person in
question. However, Henry being Henry, and not being, say, Geoff, has
apparently chosen to Rich Salz him instead, which strikes me as being very
Spaf.
Dave Tayloredly yours,
\scott
------------------------------
Date: 3 Feb 92 00:30:04 GMT
From: akuo@mazda.ece.cmu.edu (Augie Kuo)
Subject: Plate-licking dog joke
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishoners who he knew
as being an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed
that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.
"Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his
fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "They're as clean as soap
and water could get them". He felt a bit apprehensive but blessed the food
anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite
the dirty dishes.
When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and barked
"Here Soap! Here Water!"
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 92 17:52:47 PST
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Wallet Saves Man From Bullet
To: yucks-request
TOKYO (AP)
A dentist's fat wallet saved his life when it stopped a bullet in
a murder attempt, police said Friday.
Hiroshi Oyama, 62-year-old dentist in Osaka, western Japan, was
confronted by a gunman late Thursday outside his house just after
returning from dinner, said an official at Hirakata Police, speaking
on condition of anonymity.
"Are you Mr. Oyama?" a middle-aged man with a mustache asked him,
police said quoting from the account Oyama gave them. The moment
Oyama replied "Yes," he heard the gun fire once, the official said.
The bullet hit Oyama's chest on the right side but was stopped by
a leather wallet in his jacket pocket containing $1,930, the official
said.
The bullet was found lodged halfway through the bundle of bills in
the fold-over wallet, he said. The gunman jumped into a car and drove
off.
"Mr. Oyama wasn't injured at all," the official said. "He was very
lucky."
Oyama said he did not know the man and had no idea why he was shot.
Police said it wasn't unusual for a relatively affluent person to
carry so much cash in Japan, where credit cards are used less than in
other developed nations.
------------------------------
Date: 1 Feb 92 09:30:06 GMT
From: jim@wvmtrcs.UUCP (Jim Prouty)
Subject: Who are they TALKING to?
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
In The Oregonian, a Meier and Frank department store
advertisement for womens bras and panties reads:
"The perfect gift for that special woman in your life,
or great to keep for yourself."
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End of Yucks Digest
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