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Yucks Digest V3 #11 (shorts)
Yucks Digest Wed, 7 Apr 93 Volume 3 : Issue 11
Today's Topics:
(FWD) What do those domain names really mean, anyway?
Ah, the ubiquitous wax tadpole.
And now a note from Intercourse PA...
a scientific metajoke
Bill Gates engaged!
Daylight Savings
funny fortunes
FWD>Goin' to the Chapel
i can't help myself
INTEL ANNOUNCES NEW PROCESSOR
i wonder how you equalize one of these things...
Mahler Symphony No. 7 for Sale
Measurements
Metropolis
Newspaper Deadlines + Harried Editors = ...
No beer in Cleveland, they're out of pitchers
NOTW
Priority 1 Sysadmin request
Product announcement: Macintosh Toaster
puzzled
quote of the day
Robot and other parts
Sex hour
This is a riot... (pentium)
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual,
the sometimes risque, the possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.
It is issued on a semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present
themselves.
Back issues and subscriptions can be obtained using a mail server. Send
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 93 19:24:24 -0400
From: aliza@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Aliza R. Panitz)
Subject: (FWD) What do those domain names really mean, anyway?
To: elbows@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Newsgroups: comp.org.eff.talk,news.admin.policy
From: emcguire@intellection.com (Ed McGuire)
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 1993 19:21:35 GMT
[...] The domain name space implies nothing about
responsibility for what the site emits on Usenet. Unless you believe
that there really are huge secret governing organizations named
Coven of Manufacturers (COM)
Esoteric Director University (EDU)
Guardians of Victory (GOV)
Numinous Electronic Tangle (NET)
Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA)
Okay, I agree that the last one exists. :)
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 93 14:53 CST
From: gadfly@ihspc.att.com (K R Perlow +1 708 979 8042)
Subject: Ah, the ubiquitous wax tadpole.
To: eniac-yucks@fof.org, eniac
> When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather," it
> came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."
The one I heard about in a marketing class was a cleaning product that
was test-marketed in Iowa to rave reviews, but then failed when introduced
on a much larger scale in the New York area. It was called "Dreck".
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 3 Apr 93 4:30:03 EST
From: cdt@rocket.sw.stratus.com (C. D. Tavares)
Subject: And now a note from Intercourse PA...
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Most everyone has heard of Prodigy's policy of "pre-censoring" public
postings. They are now apparently using a program to pre-screen postings.
Unfortunately, Prodigy appears to be letting the program make all the
censoring decisions without recourse to human input. One poster to a
musical discussion had a posting returned with a note that he was using
language "inappropriate to the Prodigy service." He was discussing
Bach's B Minor Mass--the movement titled "Cum Sancto Spiritu."
------------------------------
Date: 4 Apr 93 07:25:02 GMT
From: jjchew@math.toronto.edu
Subject: a scientific metajoke
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an
anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have
no doubt already heard. After some observations and rough calculations
the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing. A few
minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself
happily as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a
paper. This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he
had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote,
and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humour from similar
anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary
to be significant, let alone funny.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 93 3:20:01 EST
From: (null)
Subject: Bill Gates engaged!
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Bill Gates proposed to Melinda French on a Sunday, and
apparently she didn't show up for work the next day.
She called in rich.
(Told by a Microsoft employee who wishes to remain anonymous)
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 93 3:20:02 EDT
From: knauer@cs.uiuc.edu (Rob Knauerhase)
Subject: Daylight Savings
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
My mother didn't know just how smart her new VCR was until she got
up this morning and noticed it was flashing:
1:00 1:00 1:00 1:00 1:00...
------------------------------
From: Elizabeth Lear Newman <eliz@world.std.com>
Subject: funny fortunes
To: yucks via netwit
Lobster:
Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks
are squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is
the only proper method of preparing them. Frankly, the easiest way to
eliminate your guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial
before they're cooked. The fact is, lobsters are among the most
ferocious predators on the sea floor, and you're helping reduce crime
in the reefs. Grasp the lobster behind the head, look it right in its
unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say, "Where were you on the night of
the 21st?", then flourish a picture of a scallop or a sole and shout,
"Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural apparatus you call a
memory!" The lobster will squirm noticeably. It may even take a
swipe at you with one of its claws. Incorrigible. Pop it into the
pot. Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will
be, too.
-- "Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and Utensils
into Excuses and Apologies"
------------------------------
From: kkt (Kathy Tansill)
Subject: FWD>Goin' to the Chapel
To: humor@nautilus.frame.com, btansill@netcom.com, kktstaff@nautilus.frame.com, tschramm@adobe.com
As you may be aware Bill Gates is getting married:
The words "for richer or for poorer" will be replaced with "for richer
or for richer."
The wedding cake will be made of Cheetos.
The reception will be held at Microsoft so that people can continue
working.
After the wedding, the bride may turn and laugh at all the women in the
world.
After 3 years of marriage, bill may upgrade to Wife 2.0.
Melinda's (the bride's) parents were ecstatic about the engagement
until they found out they were going to pay for the wedding.
Bill's new home of the future in medina will now have a woman's
touch--a few doilies on the mainframe.
Melinda will find out to her great disappointment on the wedding night
from where Bill got the name "Microsoft."
------------------------------
Date: 31 Mar 1993 08:45:37 -0500 (EST)
From: science! <EGLI_PAUL_A@LILLY.COM>
Subject: i can't help myself
To: eniac
> >Ok, we'll add that to "A repo man's life is always intense!".
> A nomad's life is always in tents.
a grammarian's life is always in tense.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 01 Apr 1993 00:00:00 GMT
From: surfpunk@osc.versant.com (hygvzngr bs tragvyvgl)
Subject: INTEL ANNOUNCES NEW PROCESSOR
To: surfpunk@osc.versant.com (SURFPUNK Technical Journal)
INTEL ANNOUNCES NEW PROCESSOR FOR TRULY PERSONAL COMPUTING
1 April 1993
Intel Corp. today announced a new line of low-power high performance
microprocessors for a entirely new concept in "personal" computing. The
new processors, codenamed "Rectium", are designed to actually fit the
appropriate body cavity for "Computing Anywhere, Anytime", according to
Fred Burfl, Vice President for New Product Locations at Intel. "We
figured that with our 'Intel Inside' advertising campaign, which has
high consumer awareness, we couldn't lose!".
Within six months, a high-performance co-processor will also be made
available. Implemented in Gallium Arsenide technology, the co-processor
is tentatively code-named "Rectium GaAs". A new high-speed communications
bus based on a proprietary "Fast Aerodynamic Regional Transport" protocol
will take performance to new heights.
Intel officials suggest that the chips will be ideally suited for
back-end processing applications.
Reaction on Wall Street was mixed. PepsiCo (owner of the Taco Bell
restaurant chain) gained an eighth, to close at 82 7/8, after announcing
a strong commitment to the new GaAs technology. Ralston-Purina (maker
of Bean-o) fell an eighth, to 50 5/8.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 93 16:51:01 CDT
From: gatech!iqsc.com!rex (Rex Black)
Subject: i wonder how you equalize one of these things...
To: jvarious
For those of you who know nothing about SCUBA diving, a big concern
involves equalizing the internal pressures of the diver's air spaces
with the external pressure of the surrounding water, which increases by
one atmosphere (14 lb/in2) every 33 feet you descend. Without further
ado, from rec.scuba...
Article 2603 of rec.scuba:
Subject: Diving with a colostomy?
Keywords: medical
Hello divers with medical knowledge,
A collegue at another site sent me the following letter
with the request to post it, since he does not have access
rec.scuba. Be sure to mail him directly.
With Kind Regards
[Some anonymous dude...]
=========================================================
Hi,
recently a girl-friend of mine has been taken to hospital for
an operation. Now she is `equiped' with a stoma (colostomy? I
am just using the dictionary to get this right, so please no
flames.....to say it clearly: it does not come out the way
it was intended by nature, but sideways...)
The obvious question is: does any one out there has any knowledge
on diving with a stoma? Please let me know by direct mail,
because we do not longer have access to the `recreational'
sections.........
Keep wet,
[Yet another anonymous dude...]
[some people are just unclear on the concept, I guess. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 2 Apr 93 10:13:39 CST
From: emcguire@intellection.com (Ed McGuire)
Subject: Mahler Symphony No. 7 for Sale
Newsgroups: austin.forsale
To: spaf
In <87250@ut-emx.uucp> reza@magellan.ae.utexas.edu (Alireza Vali) writes:
>I have Gustav Mahler's 7th Symphony for sale.
I have Arnold Schoenberg's /Summer Morning by a Lake/ in a location
known only to me. Hand over the 7th Symphony or I'll start draining
the Tonfarben out of the /Lake,/ one tint at a time. Listen!
"Help...do what he tells you, he's a madman!...he keeps altering my
tempo, and I don't like the way he stares at my treble clef...aiggh---"
That's enough. Meet me in a half an hour at the corner of Broadway and
47th Street and bring the Mahler on small unornamented staves. Don't
be late, and come alone and unarmed. If I see so much as a tuning
fork, I'll ice the /Lake./
WAGNER
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 1993 08:48:11 -0400
From: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: Measurements
To: /dev/null@python.bostic.com
1 Billion dollars of budget deficit = 1 Gramm-Rudman
6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears = Avocado's number
2 pints = 1 Cavort
Basic unit of Laryngitis = The Hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
6 Curses = 1 Hexahex
3500 Calories = 1 Food Pound
1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents
1 Mole = 25 Cagey Bees
1 Dog Pound = 16 oz. of Alpo
1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew
2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League
2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton
10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes = 1 Microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle
8 Catfish = 1 Octo-puss
365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer. = 1 Lite-year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies = 1 Fig-newton
to 1 meter per second
One half large intestine = 1 Semicolon
10 to the minus 6th power Movie = 1 Microfilm
1000 pains = 1 Megahertz
1 Word = 1 Millipicture
1 Sagan = Billions & Billions
1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nail-bytes
10 to the 12th power microphones = 1 Megaphone
10 to the 6th power Bicycles = 2 megacycles
The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 7 Apr 1993 17:05:01 GMT
From: citrin@boulder.Colorado.EDU (Wayne Citrin)
Subject: Metropolis
In article <16BA986CF.GRET@NUACVM.ACNS.NWU.EDU> GRET@NUACVM.ACNS.NWU.EDU writes:
> Does anybody know of any half way decent hotels in Matropolis area??
>Is there any form of gambling there????
>
A lot of this information can be found in the Weekend entertainment section
every Friday in the Daily Planet.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 01 Apr 93 14:20:20 CST
From: Joe Wiggins <JOE@UAFSYSB.UARK.EDU>
Subject: Newspaper Deadlines + Harried Editors = ...
To: yucks
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Police Discover Crack in Australia
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
War Dims Hope for Peace
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
Man is Fatally Slain
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Split Rears in Farmers Movement
Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation
[Reprinted from Anguished English in Funny Times]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 4 Apr 93 3:20:02 EDT
From: deaddio@thumper.bellcore.com (Michael DeAddio)
Subject: No beer in Cleveland, they're out of pitchers
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
After the final autopsies have been done, the exact cause of
death of the two Cleveland Indian pitchers has been released.
Pier pressure.
[Gee, they might have gotten better if only they'd seen the doc
earlier.... --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1993 13:10:40 -0800
From: Bill Wisner <wisner@well.sf.ca.us>
Subject: NOTW
To: eniac
Circuit Judge Michael Hocking came under fire in Detroit in January after
he gave a rapist the minimum 18-month term, citing "mitigating" factors.
Among them: The man helped his victim off the floor, and he did not so
much use force as wear her down by persistence.
--
A California appeals court upheld a $100,000 award to the estate of Wesley
Wilkins from Wilkins' former lover, Lillie Siplin. Siplin had invited
Wilkins to her mountain cabin in 1985 to have but, found the trial court,
failed to warn Wilkins that her husband was a violent man. Siplin's
husband broke in and stabbed Wilkins 17 times. As she was taking Wilkins
to the hospital, she mentioned that her husband had acted this way several
times.
[What an amusing typo: "to have but". --spaf]
--
A Laguna Beach traffic commissioner dismissed a man's speeding ticket in
October because the arresting officer's motorcycle was blue and white,
violating a state law requiring police vehicles to be black and white
or just white.
--
In December, convicted burglar Mark Fast, who is serving 12 years in
prison in Indiana, won a $12,250 lawsuit against the homeowner-victim,
Mahlon Rieke II. Rieke shot Fast with a shotgun as he was fleeing.
Fast claimed the injury made it difficult for him to sleep or sit down.
[He had to shoot fast -- Mark was running away! --spaf]
--
News anchors Tsitsi Vera and Noreen Welch were suspended for three months
in Harare by the government-run Zimbabwe Broadcasting Co. in December for
giggling uncontrollably while reporting the story of a woman whose
newborn baby fell through the toilet of a train onto the track below.
--
Henry County, Ga., jail inmate Mackey Junior Pope, 28, was apprehended
in February after an escape attempt. Using a smuggled-in gun, he got the
drop on four guards, locked them in a cell, and then crept along a hallway
toward the front of the building. However, Pope had neglected to take
the guards' walkie-talkies, and the front desk guards were waiting for him.
--
According to a recent study by University of California at Irvine
researchers, violent criminals have five times as much of the metal
manganese in their hair as do law-abiding citizens. The researchers
have no explanation but seem confident that the metal is a symptom rather
than a cause of the violent behavior.
--
In 1975, the Federal Communications Commission considered, then denied, a
formal request from two citizens to investigate religious broadcasters'
alleged abuses of reserved "educational" radio channels, but the rumor
persisted that the FCC would kick religion off the air. In December
1992, noting that it had now received more than 21 million letters over 17
years from parishioners urging it to keep its hands off religious
broadcasting, the FCC issued its annual admonition that the public
disregard the rumor.
--
In July, a federal appeals court reinstated an anti-trust lawsuit filed
by a homeless man, Gralyn A. Ancar, who had sued several Houston blood
plasma centers for conspiring to suppress prices paid to blood donors.
--
In September, award-winning Bakersfield high school biology teacher David
Hanley was ordered by the principal to stop his unique classroom
demonstrations showing the food is a cultural choice. To make the
point, Hanley had eaten live, newborn mice in front of two classes. And
in Texas in January, former agricultural sciences teacher Dick Pirkey
asked to be reinstated; he had been fired in October 1991 after a
student, citing Pirkey's suggestion, orally castrated a pig in class.
--
The current Albuquerque Yellow Pages ad for the law firm of Gaddy,
Rakes & Hall, which specializes in personal injury litigation, contains
a typo: "Representing the Seriously Insured" (should be "Seriously
Injured").
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 7 Apr 93 9:23:20 CDT
From: Miles O'Neal <meo@pencom.com>
Subject: Priority 1 Sysadmin request
To: spaf (Yucks List)
A coworker said...
|
|My Next mouse makes a lot of racket. Just sits there and buzzes even
|though it's on a pad. The noise distracts me and detracts from my
|work performance.
|
|It never did this prior to Clinton's inauguration.
|
|Is there a connection?
------------------------------
Date: 2 Apr 1993 01:34:41 -0600
From: bskendig@netcom.com (Brian Kendig)
Subject: Product announcement: Macintosh Toaster
Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac.announce
[ delayed due to feed problems at kremvax ]
Moved over PR Newswire at 11:00 am PST on Thursday, April 1, 1993.
Apple Moves Into Retail Markets; Announces Toaster
CUPERTINO--April 1, 1993--Encouraged by support for its use of retail
channels to sell its hardware, Apple today announced a broad set of
plans to enter other home markets previously dominated by department-
store giants such as Sears.
Apple's newest addition to the Macintosh line, the Macintosh Toaster,
is its first offering in this new arena. It's an 030-based system
sporting an 80-megabyte hard drive, a 25-megahertz bus, and two slots
for bread. It is rated at two slices per minute.
"We're really pushing to bring higher technology into the home," says
John Sculley, Apple president. "The toaster seems like a great place
to start. After all, everybody has one, toaster technology really
could use a boost, and everyone thinks the Color Classic looks like a
toaster anyway."
In a revolutionary step for a computer company, Apple also plans to
provide a peripheral food processor attachment for the system. "Now
users will be able to combine the power of word processing with a
handy device that can blend milkshakes and dice onions with ease,"
adds Sculley. A software enabler shipped with the product will allow
users to mince their words.
Two new advertising campaigns, "The Toaster For The Rest Of Us" and
"The Toaster To Be Your Best", are already underway. The products are
scheduled to ship next month, but due to the high demand expected for
them, insiders say that orders probably won't be filled until sometime
after the year 2000.
A competitor, NuCook, is already planning to market a clone of the
MacToaster. It will be compatible with the same kinds of bread, but
will also come with a wok and a detachable set of Ginsu knives.
"We're not worried about that at all," states Mike "Ro" Soft, project
leader for the Toaster. "If their toasted bread comes out looking
anything like our toasted bread, we'll sue their pants off."
If this initial offering is popular, Apple intends to introduce a
vacuum cleaner and a dishwasher, both based on Apple's popular
graphical user interface. Sculley refused to confirm or deny rumors
that plans are in the works to port this interface to 486-based Sears
Kenmore brand appliances.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 93 16:44:51 EDT
From: welty@balltown.cma.com (richard welty)
Subject: puzzled
To: eniac
there is a unusual cultural phenomenon in this parts; perhaps it is more
common than i realize, but nobody ever did it in the south where i grew up
... i'm refering to excessive easter decorations, in the form of trees
hung with eggs, and lawn chairs with giant inflated plastic easter bunnies.
this holiday season, i've seen a variant on the decorations that quite
frankly startles me. i am refering to easter bunnies (giant, brightly
colored, plastic, inflatable, that is) that appear to have been hung by
the neck.
now would this be a clever reference to classic swift justice in the old
west, or to the older medieval hanging, where the corpse is left to
publicly decompose on the gallows? why would you symbolicly hang the
rabbit rather than crucify it?
pondering,
richard
(now i wouldn't mind at all seeing Barney the dinosaur broken on the wheel)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 93 8:39:21 PST
From: baudais@sfu.ca
Subject: quote of the day
To: qotd@ensu.ucalgary.ca
WOMAN'S TOUCH
Lunchtime, sitting on a lumber pile
in the middle of the construction site,
my eye fell
on Sam's 32 ounce hammer
with the 24 inch handle.
'How come all our tools
are longer than they are wide?'
I asked.
Silence.
Feeling reckless
with confidence because
that morning I'd cut
my first set of stairs
at a perfect fit, I pushed on.
'How come the hammer,
the saw, the everything
except the tool belt looks like
you know what?'
'Don't be so sensitive.' Sam said.
'How else could they be?'
There was a chorus of grunts
in the bass mode.
'Besides,
Sam was on firm ground now,
'the circular saw is round.'
Ed raised his head slowly.
'The circular saw was invented by a woman,'
he said, and took a bite of salami.
He finished the meat and then sat
quite still, contemplating his Oreo.
'In 1810 in New England,' he continued.
'Sarah Babbit's husband had a sawmill
where they cut logs over a pit
with a man at each end of a huge hand saw.
She noticed they wasted half
their energy, for hand saws only cut
on the push. She had an idea.'
Ed took a chocolate bite and chewed.
Even Sam was quiet.
'She went into her kitchen,
fetched a tin dish and cut
teeth in it. Then she slipped it
onto the spindle of her spinning wheel,
fed a cedar shake into it
and the circular saw was born.'
Ed folded his brown paper bag.
After a certain silence
Sam spat.
'I knew there was something funny
about that saw', he said
and sulked off stomping sawdust.
- -Kate Braid
(journeywomen carpenter and poet)
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 93 23:19 GMT
From: Don Webb <0004200716@mcimail.com>
Subject: Robot and other parts
To: surfpunk <surfpunk@osc.osc.com>
You guys probably already know this, but the best place to buy
ultra-cheap Science&Industry surplus is:
American Science & Surplus
POB 48838
Niles, IL 60714-0838
(Formerly Jerrico) Their catalog costs a buck and has everything
from surplus telephones ($10.00) to Infrared transmitter and
receiver sets ($9.95) to legal pads to Gold anodized aluminum
heat sinks to neat toys. I've dealt with them for seven years
and never been disappointed. The place to go when you need 3/8"
dia. flexible shafts for cheap. Should be good for home robot
stuff.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 5 Apr 93 3:25:02 EDT
From: shubu@cs.wisc.edu (Shubhendu Sekhar Mukherjee)
Subject: Sex hour
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
"I once taught a class which included a student named Georgina
Secsauer. One day someone from the office popped in the door and
asked 'Is there a Secsauer in this class?'. One of the students
promptly responded 'Hell no! We don't even get a coffee break!'".
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 93 13:44:12 EST
From: keith@cc.gatech.edu (Keith Edwards)
Subject: This is a riot... (pentium)
To: surfpunk@osc.versant.com (SURFPUNK Technical Journal)
Here's how Americans get their news! Any technology-minded citizens who
picked up USA Today yesterday will get to read this gem:
---
PENTIUM HAS TWICE TRANSISTORS:
Pentium packs 3.1 million transistors onto a slice of silicon
about the size of a thumbnail. That is twice as many as
transistors as the 486. It is capable of executing 112 million
instructions per second (MIPS). In two seconds, Pentium could
execute an instruction - for example, fetch information from a
PC's memory - for almost every person in the U.S. That's twice as
fast as the fastest 486.
[Now if we could only execute a government official that
frequently, we might have something! --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 1993 08:27:59 -0400
From: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
To: /dev/null@python.bostic.com
When the Apple IIc was introduced, the informative copy led off with a couple
of asterisked sentences:
It weighs less than 8 pounds.*
And costs less than $1,300.**
In tiny type were these "fuller explanations":
* Don't asterisks make you suspicious as all get out? Well, all
this means is that the IIc alone weights 7.5 pounds. The power
pack, monitor, an extra disk drive, a printer and several bricks
will make the IIc weigh more. Our lawyers were concerned that you
might not be able to figure this out for yourself.
** The FTC is concerned about price fixing. You can pay more if
you really want to. Or less.
-- Forbes
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------