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Yucks Digest V2 #50 (shorts)
Yucks Digest Tue, 29 Sep 92 Volume 2 : Issue 50
Today's Topics:
14-year-old stabs mother because of TV
6-Foot Lizard Found Under Hood
chuckle
Cruel or Unusual Punishment?
Cute Math Joke
Elementary humor
Experts Stymied On Soviet Tag
Forwarded meditation on netnews:
imagery (fwd)
Indiana wants me (Lord, I can't go back there!)
it's a strange world
Moved by Clinton
nuh-nuh-nuh-Nitro!
Ode to BIFF
Order of Nuking
poltically correct pizzas
Pop Goes the Bullet
Psycholympics
road, Marin
sig du jour
Software costs revisited?
the * gourmet
the net's getting stranger and stranger
you can't make these things up
Yow! Lottery Bonanza! Yow!
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual,
the sometimes risque, the possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.
It is issued on a semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present
themselves.
Back issues and subscriptions can be obtained using a mail server. Send
mail to "yucks-request@cs.purdue.edu" with a "Subject:" line of the single
word "help" for instructions.
Submissions and problem reports should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 92 11:58:26 CDT
From: brennan@hal.com (Dave Brennan)
Subject: 14-year-old stabs mother because of TV
To: spaf
Lampasas, TX --
A 14-year-old boy said he stabbed his mother in the back early Saturday
because, as a form of discipline, she had take away his television. Sula
Robertson, 48, who was stabbed while sleeping at her home, was released from
Metroplex Hospital in Killeen after undergoing surgery to remove the knife
from her back. Investigator Raymond Burn with the Lampasas County
sheriff's department said the boy told him he had planned since Friday to
kill his mother.
["I want my MTV" he said as the police led him away. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 92 23:18:51 PDT
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: 6-Foot Lizard Found Under Hood
To: yucks-request
MIAMI (AP)
A man who popped his hood when his car wouldn't steer right found
a stubborn 6-foot Asian water monitor lizard wrapped around the
engine.
"I poked at it with a broomstick and it moved," Chris Hernendez
said Monday. "Then I knew it was more than a little iguana. But I
didn't realize the size of it until I got underneath the car and saw
its claws it looked like a crocodile."
The animal had somehow knocked off the car's alternator belt and
was blocking the steering column, said Hernandez, 28, a sales manager
for a cruise line.
The stubborn lizard refused to come out, and state game
authorities called in Todd Hardwick, an animal dealer who specializes
in trapping exotic animals as well as native species in the back-yard
wilds of suburban Miami.
"We squirted it with Joy detergent to make it slippery, then
sedated it," he said. "Then we had to take the engine apart."
Hardwick, who routinely catches giant boa constrictors, wild
monkeys and other animals, said "it was one of our roughest
extractions."
The animal dealer said water monitor lizards, native to Southeast
Asia, can reach 10 feet or more and weigh 100 pounds.
He speculated that the lizard was bought as a small pet, and
either escaped or was released years ago in a swampy area adjacent to
the new housing development where Hernandez lives.
"This thing grew to be monstrous eating Muscovy ducks and fish,"
Hardwick said. "This guy could have been lurking out there in the
swamp for years."
It was probably attracted to the warmth of the engine in
Hernandez's 1987 Grand Am, he said.
The lizard was captured in good shape and a veterinarian was to
give it a thorough examination in part to determine if it is male or
female, said Hardwick, whose company is called Pesky Critters. He had
rescued another lizard of the same species previously, and he's
keeping both at his compound.
"Romance could be pending," he said.
[With the other lizard, I hope. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1992 15:37:47 GMT
From: vsh@etnibsd.uucp (Steve Harris)
Subject: chuckle
Newsgroups: rec.humor,comp.org.usenix
Checked in to my hotel at a recent Usenix conference,
opened the bedside drawer,
found a copy of K&R -- said it had been left by the Gideons.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 92 10:22:19 -0400
From: paul@dblegl.atl.ga.us (Paul D. Manno)
Subject: Cruel or Unusual Punishment?
To: spaf
From our news services...
Bruce Janu does it his way. The Riverside, Il., social science teacher
punishes troublemaking students by making them stay after school and
listen to Frank Sinatra for a half-hour. Janu created the Frank Sinatra
Detention Club last year at Riverside-Brookfield High School. "You've
got a Frank," he tells unruly students. The 24-year-old teached said he
loves Sinatra's music but realizes teenagers these days would rather
listen to U2, NWA or Madonna. "The kids hate it," he says. "This is the
worst thing that has ever happened to them."
[Ha! Just wait till they sit through a Spaf lecture! - Paul]
------------------------------
From: BOSHOFF@firga.sun.ac.za, sichase@csa2.lbl.gov (SCOTT I CHASE)
Subject: Cute Math Joke
Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.math
Three statisticians go deer hunting. They spot a deer.
The first statistician aims - and fires wide to the right.
The second statistician aims - but fires wide to the left.
The third statistician throws down his gun and shouts "We got him!
We got him!"
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 92 10:22:25 -0400
From: paul@dblegl.atl.ga.us (Paul D. Manno)
Subject: Elementary humor
To: spaf
This wit was found in a 4th grade "newspaper":
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the possum it could be done.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 27 May 92 18:56:21 PDT
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Experts Stymied On Soviet Tag
To: yucks-request
NEW YORK (AP)
The people who made their livings analyzing the Soviet Union are
wrestling with an identity crisis of sorts. Namely, their names.
Five months after the Soviet empire evaporated into history, ideas
for replacing "Soviet" in academic and governmental lexicons remain
like the far-flung former republics themselves all over the map.
There's the FSU (former Soviet Union) school of thinking that says
cling to "Soviet" in your title until something better comes along.
Hence, the Current Digest of the Soviet Press, which provides English
translations of recent news articles, became the Current Digest of
the Post-Soviet Press.
There's the Russia-as-a-synonym camp. The University of Cambridge
in England, for example, retitled its speciality from Soviet and East
European Studies to Russia and East European Studies. But that
excludes 14 ex-republics and more than 100 million people.
And there's CIStology and related areas, a non-diseased
description encompassing the new Commonwealth of Independent States.
The American Committee on U.S.-Soviet Relations plans to become the
American Committee on U.S.-CIS Relations, an imperfect solution
because it omits the four republics that didn't join the commonwealth.
What to do?
"It's a dilemma," says Margaret Chapman, director of trade and
business for the renamed committee, which is based in Washington.
"I'm going to a conference in Moscow this month with the wrong
business cards and the wrong letterhead," she said. "No name anyone
can come up with seems to be completely appropriate."
Marshall Goldman, associate director of Harvard University's
Russian Research Center, coined "CIStology" last fall in a
half-joking attempt to simplify the term. But Goldman and most others
in the field don't expect the Commonwealth to survive as a political
entity.
Besides, said Galia Golan of Hebrew University in Jerusalem, "You
can't say CIS. Then what do you do with the Baltics and Georgia?"
How about Eurasia, or Central Eurasia?
The CIA renamed its Division of Soviet Affairs, the Division of
Eurasian Affairs. The U.S. government's Foreign Broadcast Information
Service renamed its Soviet service from FBIS-Soviet Union to
FBIS-Central Eurasia.
Naw, say others too broad, too vague.
There's always the cut-your-losses maneuver, employed by the New
York institution known until recently as Columbia University's
Harriman Institute for the Advanced Study of Soviet Studies. Its new
name: the Harriman Institute.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 92 11:38:37 -0400
From: jfw@ksr.com (John F. Woods)
Subject: Forwarded meditation on netnews:
To: eniac
------- Forwarded Message
Subject: Gnus exit message
Date: 23 Sep 92 23:00:25 GMT
Organization: Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences
I would like to request that the message you get when exiting
are you sure you want to quit reading news?
be changed do something a little less challanging. Reading
news is often a way to avoid doing something you should be
doing but really don't want to. The question "are you SURE
you WANT to quit reading news" tends to make me fall into a
meditation on what it is I *really* want and how can I be
really *sure* about my own wants and desires, culminating
more often than not with my hitting the 'n' key. I'd be
interested in suggestions for a message which was more
supportive of our carreer goals, viz.,
do you think maybe you ought to quit reading news?
(permanantly, perhaps?)
------- End of Forwarded Message
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 29 May 92 12:22:29 PDT
From: oleg@veritas.com (Oleg Kiselev)
Subject: imagery (fwd)
To: eniac
Forwarded message:
---------------
From: Guy Steele <gls@Think.COM
Subject: fortran images [for cover design]
From: <name removed to protect the innocent@think.com
Date: Mon, 25 May 92 16:51:53 EDT
please free associate on fortran.
what are its formal characteristics? informal? how is it structured?
i assume it is regular. (it is, isn't it?)
if you had to draw ten pictures of it, what would the ten pictures be? if
it were a color, what color would it be? what texture is it? what shape
is it? how many pieces are there in it? is it solid? is it a regular
shape? can you see through it? is it layered?
A solid wall of cinder blocks, painted institutional gray, with four
of them missing in random locations. Through the four holes you can
see a tangle of wires. One of the holes has been partly covered with
a circular piece of pegboard. Three pink ostrich feathers have been
hot-glued to the wall in a desperate attempt to create a festive mood.
A programmer, as Sisyphus, pushing a huge square stone up Mt. Xinu.
Despite the fact that it is square, it keeps rolling back down anyway.
A drab brown metal box with rounded edges and corners--the 1950's look.
Large, clunky typewriter keys that you have to PUSH (they go "*chonk*")
and they produce only uppercase letters. Beside it, an operator
limply holds a half-empty box of cards and gazes in despair on the
thousand or so that have fallen all over the floor.
Fortran is the color of compatibility at all costs. Fortran has
the texture of sand and ball bearings, mixed. It is regular until
you look at it more closely. It sounds like Phyllis Diller singing
"Strawberry Fields Forever". It shines like purple Jell-O.
Does this help?
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 92 12:45:38 CDT
From: meo@austin.ibm.com (Miles ONeal)
Subject: Indiana wants me (Lord, I can't go back there!)
To: spaf (Gene Spafford)
| A 16 year old boy was arrested for assaulting his father with
| a 21-pound cement mushroom lawn ornament. This was prompted
| by an argument that ensued after the boy brought a goat home
| on Thursday night.
You have to see this in context. The traditional Indiana father-son
talk as a boy reaches 16 (the age of dating consent in Indiana) includes
the following:
"...and son, you know we have to keep the races pure. I don't want
you bringin' home none o' them other people. Stick to our kind,
you hear?"
As he heads out the door for a date, the mother reminds him quietly,
"And don't be bringin' home no goats. You know your father fought them
in the war and still can't abide the sight of them. It would kill him
if he thought you were dating one..."
Finally, keep in mind that when prevailing winds bring in air from areas
such as Cleveland, with its known mind-damaging qualities, all bets are
off, inhibitions tend to fall rapidly.
[Miles has Indiana mistaken with some other place. Here, it's not
goats -- it's pigs and cows. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 18:07:34 -0400
From: alma
Subject: it's a strange world
This breathtaking bit of sincere (I assume) weirdness just appeared
on the belief list at Brown:
Return-Path: <BELIEF-L@BROWNVM.brown.edu>
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 13:54:02 PDT
Sender: Personal Ideologies Discussion List <BELIEF-L@BROWNVM.brown.edu>
From: HAIZI.XU@MTSG.UBC.CA
Subject: Means to Seek Happiness
To: Multiple recipients of list BELIEF-L <BELIEF-L@BROWNVM.brown.edu>
Dear knowledgeable netters:
I am an outsider of Western culture. From my limited
observation, mainstream Westerners seek happiness primarily
by two means: one is accumulating material wealth (including
maintaining physical health); the other is pleasing God. The
attention is mostly on the outside. But I feel John Denver,
the pop star, preaches a more humanist approach to
happiness, i.e., seeking happiness from within. Does he
represent a school of thought in Western world? To me, his
approach is closer to traditional Chinese culture than any
of Western ther thoughts that I know of.
[This arrived too late for yesterday's lunatic fringe posting.... --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 23 Sep 92 09:44:34 -0400
From: jfw@ksr.com (John F. Woods)
Subject: Moved by Clinton
To: eniac
[description of dull Clinton stump speech]
I didn't hear anything that touched me, moved me, made me want to vote
for Bill Clinton
what could he have said that would have moved you?
"Hey, you in the back; there's a chair up front if you want it."
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 92 20:21:56 -0400
From: Patrick Tufts <zippy@berry.cs.brandeis.edu>
Subject: nuh-nuh-nuh-Nitro!
To: eniac
Got a question for the American Gladiatiors?
Ask A Gladiator
10203 Santa Monica Bvd.
Los Angeles, CA
--Pat "which goes better with fish, bovine steroids or human growth hormone?"
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 4 Jun 92 03:29:05 GMT
From: sherman@oak.math.ucla.edu (The Ahkond of Swat)
Subject: Ode to BIFF
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
In article <BpAsvK.D4z@world.std.com> kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
writes:
>In article <34004@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> ph600fdd@sdcc14.ucsd.edu
(Matthew B Harrington) innocently inquired:
>>WHat is kibology?
>>
>>Please respond via email...
>>
>>Matt
>>
Uh-oh, now you've done it...
Everybody duck!
>ME 2 !!!!!!1 C0ULD ANY 1 EXPLAIN IT 2 ME 2 ???????????///
>
>PLEAZE P0ST 2 THIS BB0ARD SINCE I D0NT N0 H0W 2 W0RK E MAIL !!!!!!!!!!!1
>
> -- IM KN0T BIFF !!!!
>^D
>^D
>^D
>^D
>
>A REALLY NEAT .SIGNATURE FOLLOWS, PRESS "NO" IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT !!!111
[Mondo whammy .sig deleted]
BIFF is a force of nature, and must be reckoned with. BIFF is the Stupidity
Elemental in the DC universe. BIFF is the Cthulhu to Kibo's Hastur the
Unspeakable (He Who Must Not Be Named). BIFF needs boats. BIFF is
everywhere. BIFF has been to FAO Schwarz. BIFF needs no introduction.
BIFF speaks no languages. BIFF does not have a brother named HAPPY. BIFF
has a moustache above his nose. BIFF suggests new ways to rock the boat.
BIFF can only be understood when your terminal is turned off. BIFF doesn't
know about HappyNet (tm). BIFF's parents wear Groucho glasses in public.
BIFF can understand Charo. BIFF once jumped the Snake River Canyon on a
Big Wheel. BIFF prefers his eggs molded into a replica of Ernest Borgnine.
BIFF has no rhythm. BIFF does his housework in the BUFF. BIFF knows what's
under Mike Nesmith's hat. Santa Claus does not believe in BIFF. BIFF
knows why I'm typing this. BIFF believes that the nation which controls
zinc controls the world economy. BIFF is pure. BIFF is total. BIFF is.
To sum up: BIFF is not well. Hail the great skewed thought.
------------------------------
From: Mark Benson 5-4228 <benson@colorado.med.ge.com>
Subject: Order of Nuking
Newsgroups: sci.military
[In a discussion about a possible strategy for fighting a nuclear war]
The above assumes that the weapons systems work fairly well, and that the
opponent is so suprised he doesn't shoot back. I rather suspect we are
all still alive today because Kruschev, Brezhnev, Andropov, et al. had
thoughts along the lines of...
"This is an MX missile, the most powerful weapon system known
to mankind. It can deliver 10 300+ KT warheads to an area the
size of your patio. It could blow you silo clean to hell. Now in
all this confusion, I forgot whether you got all 50 or only 40.
You should be asking yourself one question, and the question is ,
do you feel lucky? Well do ya, PUNK?"
(apologies to Clint...)
------------------------------
Date: 22 Sep 92 00:07:01 GMT
From: mmalervy@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Michael J. Malervy)
Subject: poltically correct pizzas
Newsgroups: ucsd.students
After months of exhausting research, I have concluded that
the politically correct UCSD student would only get a pizza at Pizza
Hut. Further, this student would not put any toppings on his
pizza.
Let's look at why other pizzas are politically incorrect.
Dominos is obviously the most politically incorrect. Their owner,
Pat Maynahan, is pro-life. Additionally, Dominos uses the
politically incorrect automobile to transport their pizza to their
customers. This is unacceptable to the politically correct crowd.
Next, we have Little Ceasars. Little Ceasars harkens back to the
Roman Empire, where the ceasars ruled. Little Caesars is therefore
Eurocentric, and politically incorrect. Round Table, whose mane
brings to mind England in the Middle Ages, is also Eurocentric.
Plus, the Round Table on campus is the home of the Bulls-eye Tavern,
a place which has raised the ire of the New Indicator. Therefore,
Round Table is politically incorrect.
This leaves Pizza Hut. What is a hut? It is a small
structure used by people living in the Third World. Pizza Hut is
not Eurocentric, does not take a stand against abortion, and has not
made the New Indicator angry. Therefore, Pizza Hut is politically
correct.
But what kind of pizza is politically correct at Pizza Hut?
Any pizza without pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham, or any other
topping that would be considered meat. After all, it is politically
incorrect to eat meat. It is cruel and inhumane to kill another
fellow creature to satisfy one's taste for meat. All the other
toppings at Pizza Hut are also politically incorrect. After all,
how can you eat green pepopers or mushrooms or extra cheese when
there are people starving? The politically correct
student would therefore order a regular cheese pizza at Pizza Hut in
order to avoid any of the guilt that might arise from enjoying a
politically incorrect pizza.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 92 10:22:13 -0400
From: paul@dblegl.atl.ga.us (Paul D. Manno)
Subject: Pop Goes the Bullet
To: spaf
>From our news services...
The bullet William Baker of Walton, Ky., carried around in his
body for nearly 40 years isn't there anymore. It fell out. "It
just popped into my hand," says Baker. He was hit by machine-gun
fire on June 14, 1953. Army surgeons removed several bullets but
left one behind, though no one told Baker at the time. An X-ray
found it in 1961. The bullet worked its way to near his waist and
then "popped out like a pea."
[How often has he had peas pop out of his waist? --spaf]
------------------------------
From: APUCORLE@idbsu.idbsu.edu [This guy is funny] Toxic Custard....
Subject: Psycholympics
The Paralympics for the physically handicapped are currently underway
in Barcelona. And after they've finished, next up is the Psycholympics,
a set of events specifically for athletes with disorders of the mind.
Events include:
- The Paranoid Marathon: the runners just keep running, because
they think there's someone after them. They run out of the
stadium, get into a taxi to the airport and get on the first
plane out of the country using a forged passport and a fake
moustache.
- 100 Metres Freestyle for Hydrophobics and People with Water
Fixations.
- Agoraphobiacs' Gymnastics: held *inside* the horse
- High-diving for Barophobiacs'
- Manic Depressive Sprint: runners don't care if they win or
lose, they just want to die.
- Debating competitions for hysterics
- Schizophrenia relay running (one runner per team)
- Psycho-Somatic Skeet Shooting, where competitors imagine they
have a gun and the target is just a figment of their imagination
due to the stress of it all.
------------------------------
From: kaaren@satyr.sylvan.com (Kaaren Bock)
Subject: road, Marin
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny (moderated):
Why did the Marin County woman cross the road?
She was channelling a chicken.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1992 10:00:12 PDT
From: "Chris Kent Kantarjiev" <cak@parc.xerox.com>
Subject: sig du jour
To: eniac
Here's my nomination:
"In a 12 hour period in California, one can see the entire evolution of the
Honda Accord. Is this a good thing?"
------------------------------
From: gregor@cs.tu-berlin.de (Gregor Engelmeier)
Subject: Software costs revisited?
In Brad Cox's book: "Object Oriented Programming" from 1986, he quotes an
inquiery carried through by the U.S. Goverment Accounting Office in 1979, in
wich a breakdown of software costs versus actual results is performed
(FGMSD-80-4). The results at that time were:
Software delivered but not used: 47% [!]
Software paid for but not delivered: 29%
Software abandoned or reworked: 19%
Software used after change: 3%
Software used as delivered: 2% [!!!]
Note: The original article had the 47% and 29% switched.
[What about software delivered and misused? --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 23 Sep 92 15:53:47 -0400
From: Patrick Tufts <zippy@berry.cs.brandeis.edu>
Subject: the * gourmet
To: eniac
More cable access gourmet shows I'd like to see.
THE FRIGGING GOURMET
Ever wondered how to fry bacon while in the buff? The Frig tells all.
Plus, new uses for battery operated drink mixers.
THE FAINTING GOURMET
Narcolepsy and knives *do* go together!
THE FUNICULAR GOURMET
Yodeling gnome of Zurich cooks meals while riding cable car up the
Jungfrau.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 92 18:48:19 -0400
From: Patrick Tufts <zippy@berry.cs.brandeis.edu>
Subject: the net's getting stranger and stranger
To: yucks
>From: krazykid@csa.bu.edu (Ernest Kim)
>Newsgroups: ne.forsale,bu.forsale
>Subject: 5' 6" Blonde for sale
>Date: 24 Sep 92 20:48:11 GMT
>Organization: Boston University Computer Science Department
Hello. This is a posting for a friend of mine. She doesn't really
know how to do this so here goes.
Please email her and not me. Her internet address is: butcher@csa.bu.edu
======
Hello. I need money. I am working my way through school and you can
never have enough money. I am 5' 6", blonde hair, petite and brown
eyed. So if you want to buy me just email me. I'll make sure that
you get your money's worth. Take it easy. ;)
Melanie
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 16:57:54 PDT
From: Jamie Andrews <jamie@cs.sfu.ca>
Subject: you can't make these things up
To: eniac
Article 92355 (28 more) in rec.arts.movies:
From: allyn@netcom.com (allyn)
Subject: Movies with people wearing clear plastic
Date: 28 Sep 92 03:40:14 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
I watched Bladerunner recently and loved the scene with the girl running
wearing a clear plastic raincoat.
I am curious if any of you out there know of any other flicks with scenes
of people wearing clear plastic.
As I allways dress up in clear plastic during haloween, I love to see others
do the same.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 22 May 92 1:00:34 CDT
From: meo@pencom.com (Miles O'Neal)
Subject: Yow! Lottery Bonanza! Yow!
To: spaf
Seeing as how reunion with my family is mere weeks away,
and planned as part of a more permanent move to Austin,
the air is ripe with impending disaster. MoPac derailing
head-on into my bike && I, or having my skull explode when
hit by frozen jetsam falling from a passing 737 (en route,
no doubt, from DFW), or most likely contracting some obscure
blight hitherto found only in bureaucrats eyes and lawyers
armpits, causing a slow fading of the morals, intellect,
and resemblance to anything remotely human, in no particular
order.
I, Miles, therefore, being of, quite obviously, sound [1]
mind, and many commas, but, for once, few parentheses, do
hereby present, in honor of, and indeed, in mockery of,
the Texas Lottery, the following, Dubious Game of Chance.
------CONTEST ALERT----------CONTEST ALERT----------CONTEST ALERT------
Hey, kids! Pick your favorite saying for Miles' tombstone!
Winner gets to pick the date to go on it, also! Mail your
entry today to meo@pencom.com or cs.utexas.edu!pensoft!meo .
Deadline for delivery timestamp at pencom is midnight May 31, 1992.
[Ahem. I guess I'm a little late posting this. --spaf]
[ ] "he died happily ever after" [ ] "he stunk but we loved him"
[ ] "he died with his bare feet on" [ ] "we loved him but he stunk"
[ ] "he died, but not soon enough" [ ] "he stunk"
[ ] "he died, so I dance" [ ] "but master, he stinketh"
[ ] "e pluribus idiot" "so, what's new?"
[ ] "and the worms ate into his brain" [ ] "belch!"
[ ] "here he lies beneath our feet [ ] "they finally got him, but he took
all his bones devoid of meat 6 of the big blue devils with him"
someone said that he was great
but i said nothing - i just ate"
Write-in votes encouraged!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTES
-----
[1] And a rude one, no doubt. Sound, that is. Nevermind.
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------