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Yucks Digest V1 #111
Yucks Digest Wed, 18 Dec 91 Volume 1 : Issue 111
Today's Topics:
BEANO The gas preventer (note: form-feeds between pages)
Class evaluations
Coincidence?
Destroying chips
Future of Supercomputing
Humor for the day
Introduction of the Day
it's that time of the year again
It sucks!
Looking for Amelia Earhart
Professional Courtesy
QOTD
qual questions
Stupid Phone Number Tricks
submitted without comment...
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 03:08:07 EST
From: enger@seka.scc.com (Robert M. Enger)
Subject: BEANO The gas preventer (note: form-feeds between pages)
To: spaf
What follows is a real product. I purchased it at Giant Food in Rockville, Md.
I figured I'd have to actually show it to the folks at work to get them to
believe me...
(tm)
b e e e a a a n n n o o o
b e e a n n o o
b b b e e e a a a n n o o
b b e a a n n o o
b b b e e e a a a n n o o o
B R A N D D R O P S
P r e v e n t s A Scientific
t h e g a s and social
f r o m b e a n s*... breakthrough
*_and_ cabbage, peas, broccoli,
eggplant, soy and many others
A s c i e n t i f i c a n d s o c i a l b r e a k t h r o u g h !
(tm)
b e a n o T h e g a s p r e v e n t e r
'A few drops' on your favorite (but gas- 'How to Use': Add 3 to 8 drops
producing) food almost always stops the gas of BEANO to your first bite of
before it starts! Ends the discomfort and the offending food and that
social embarrassment which come from eating _should_be_enough_for_an_entire_
BEANS, CHILI, CAULIFLOWER, CHICK PEAS, serving._ Experience will tell
SOY FOODS and many others. Unlike other you how many drops will be
anti-gas products B E A N O (tm) liquid needed for specific foods.
prevents the bloat, gassiness, discomfort
and embarrassment _before_they_start!_
'Want More Information'? Call our BEANO Hotline toll-free 1-800-257-8650
from 8:30am to 5:30pm, Eastern time, Weekdays.
'Contains': Enzyme (derived AkPharma Inc. P.O. Box 111
from Aspergillus niger) Pleasantville, NJ 08232. Pat. Pending.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 13:28:18 EST
From: Gene Spafford <spaf@uther.cs.purdue.edu>
Subject: Class evaluations
To: nobody
I got my class evaluations back today. Here are the more interesting
comments:
"I think you need to bring a soapbox with you to class."
"Operating systems interest me only slightly more than eating my own
bile."
"After 2yrs, 7 months, 28 days in computer science, I realized I
should have been born before computers were invented, but at least
this course has made a substantial contribution to the
counter-argument."
And last, a drawing of person dropping trou.
------------------------------
Date: 17 Dec 91 17:20:07 GMT
From: jneff@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Joe Neff)
Subject: Coincidence?
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
[original, as far as I know]
Pres. Bush's Chief of Staff John Sununu was fired.
Within hours, Pan Am went out of business.
------------------------------
Date: 14 Dec 91 09:13:08 CDT
From: ben@epmooch.UUCP (Rev. Ben A. Mesander)
Subject: Destroying chips
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
In article <1991Dec14.040029.25513@uniwa.uwa.oz.au> gudjm@uniwa.uwa.oz.au (D John McKenna) writes:
>I've seen a RAM card (I think it was for a PC) that had one of its caps
>blow up. There was a huge hole through the board, and a few of the
>nearby chips.
>A friend was asked to fix it.
I work for the U.S. Geological Survey as a computer programmer / electrical
engineer. One of my more mundane tasks is fixing broken equipment. We have
a lot of really old terminals around, and it seems that different brands
of terminals always fail in characteristic ways.
So... a user comes into my office clutching a GraphOn 140 monochrome
graphics terminal. There are soot stains on the top! Now, the problem
I *ALWAYS* see with the GO-140 is the plug on the 117 in desolders itself
due to heat inside the case (scientists like to stack paper and books on
top of thier terminals ;-). When this happens, the terminals blink off,
it cools down, and comes back on. So, I always just re-melt the solder
and blob a little more on there, and the problem goes away for another
year.
But what happened to this one? After all, there's this soot that is around
the cooling slots. I open it up, and the board around the 117 connection
on the circuit board has completely burned away, leaving a 2" hole in
the middle of the power supply board. Components are hanging from the
twisted remnants of traces.
I ask the fellow, who is a manager, how long the terminal had been smoking.
He replied "Oh, for about a week." Dumbfounded, I asked him if he turned
his terminal off at night. The answer was no... he had left his terminal
gently smoking in his office all night every night. Absolutely amazed
at this manager's level of intelligence, I gently suggested that if he
ever found a piece of electronic equipment smoking in our office or
lab that he unplug it and call me for help. He said "Really? Well you
should write a policy memo then!" (It became apparent that he blamed me
for his terminal failure because I had never written a policy memo
concerning flaming terminals).
So I did. (I don't have it with me, I'm at home right now). Basically,
aside from the USGS logo at the top, and the from:/to:/subject:/date:
garbage, it says:
If your terminal is on fire, unplug it and call Ben Mesander for help.
All the scientists got a good giggle out of that one.
I resurrected the terminal, BTW. We have a tiny budget (there's nothing
like 50 people running numerical models, databases, and mapping software
on a Prime 9955-II at the same time...), so I couldn't buy a replacement
terminal. I got out another GO-140, mapped the circuit with a VOM, and
constructed it with heavy gauge wires bridging the gap in the circuit
board. I'm interested to see if my handiwork will be less susceptible
to heat than the original design. So far the terminal has worked fine.
------------------------------
Date: 16 Dec 91 11:30:03 GMT
From: creiman@ncsa.uiuc.edu (Charlie Reiman)
Subject: Future of Supercomputing
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
This text is entirely fictional. Any resemblence
to real world events is purely coincidental. Honest.
==========
"Wow. Teraflops. You must be kidding."
"No. Our engineers pulled off magic on this one. I don't have the
specifics right now but they claimed somewhere around 50 Teraflops per
CPU."
"Fantastic. So how about i/o?"
"They worked some magic there, too. They claim they can jack an
external interface up into the hundreds of gigabytes, with high
reliability. Loopback only, of course. They're having problems finding
anything that can match it to run tests."
"Great. Looks like we'll have old Seymour by the balls om this one. Do
you realize that we may have the fastest computer line for the next
decade, even if we don't change anything? This is excellent news. Do
we have a test sight selected yet?"
"Actually, we have an installed site right now. They love the
performance and the reliability. They only have one minor complaint
about the hardware."
"Really. What seems to be the problem?"
==========
Blade UNIX v2 (bu2.scso.umi.edu)
For help, send email to consult@scso.umi.edu
login: jux6710a
Password:
Hello, jux6710a!
Last login from hedgehog.scso.umi.edu at Fri Sep 27 13:30:12 CDT 1991
You have new mail.
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a mail
Mail version SMI 4.0 Sat Oct 13 20:32:29 PDT 1990 Type ? for help.
"/usr/spool/mail/jux6710a": 1 message 1 new
U 1 joey@sdsc.utexas.edu Mon Aug 26 17:18 64/3904 You dork!
>N 1 machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu Tue Aug 27 20:18 16/667 It is your time.
& 2
Message 2:
>From machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu Tue Aug 27 20:18:05 1991
Return-Path: <machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu>
Received: by bu2.scso.umi.edu (4.1/SCSO-4.1)
id AA00359; Fri, 27 Sep 91 20:18:00 CDT
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 20:18:00 CDT
From: machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu (The Machine)
Message-Id: <9109280118.AA00359@bu2.scso.umi.edu>
To: jux6710a@bu2.scso.umi.edu (Ulrich Jenson)
Subject: It is your time.
Status: R
Dear Ulrich.
This is the machine. As you are aware,
extraordinary hardware demands extraordinary
care.
You have the honor of being selected for this
months human sacrifice. Please put your affairs
in order. The time of the sacrifice will be Fri
Sep 13 00:00 1991. Please be prompt. Wear loose,
comfortable clothing.
Do not disappoint me.
& x
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a man -k sacrifice
offer (2) - notify the system of a sacrifice
offering (8) - send a sacrifice to the hardware god
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a man 8 offering
OFFERING(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS OFFERING(8)
NAME
offering - send a sacrifice to the FPU
SYNOPSIS
/usr/etc/offering [ -vma ] [ weight ]
DESCRIPTION
offering informs the system that a sacrifice is available
and should be consumed. To be properly offered to the FPU, a
conscious victim should be placed in the provided sacrifi-
cial wiring closet at midnight during the second Friday of
each month. Failure to provide the needed flesh will result
in degraded performance. Repeated failures to provide the
required resource will eventually result in a general system
failure of hellish proportions.
Performance will be improved if the sacrifice is of higher
quality. For example, here is a list of possible sacrifices
in their order of increasing desirability:
a Congressperson, chicken, goat, human male (tainted),
human male (virgin), human female (tainted), human
female (virgin), any user exceeding his/her disk quota
Unlisted lifeforms may also be acceptable, check with your
site administrator. Animals may never be surgically modified
in anyway.
OPTIONS
-v Specify that the sacrifice is a virgin. Default is
tainted. If you wish the sacrifice to be acknowledged
as a virgin, you must specify with this option or the
system will not check.
-m Specify that the sacrifice is a male. Default is
female. Unlike the -v option, the system will always
verify this flag. Always double check the gender of
your human sacrifices; the system does not appreciate a
lier.
-a Specify an animal sacrifice. Overrides both the -v and
-m options. Animals should only be substituted in times
of drastic emergency. Congresspersons may not be
offered as animals.
FILES
/var/adm/sctmp sacrifice accounting file
/dev/hell interface for outgoing sacrifices
/dev/altar interface to closet
SEE ALSO
offer(2), ac(8)
BUGS
It is critical to monitor the permissions to /dev/hell. They
should be root writable only at all times.
Should automagicly determine gender and virgin status of
sacrifice.
Current versions of the sacrificial wiring closet needs
extra sound shielding to muffle screams.
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a man vacation
==========
This text is original material. Permission to duplicate without
written consent granted provided the following information is left intact:
Author: Charlie Reiman Date: Sept 1, 1991 creiman@ncsa.uiuc.edu
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 16 Dec 91 13:46:07 PST
From: Monica Waldman <mlw@cisco.com>
Subject: Humor for the day
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us (eniyack)
sent to me by a friend...
For those of you who don't watch Saturday Night Live, let me tell
you of Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey. It is a short piece they some-
times use when cutting to a commercial. It has some peaceful image
in the background and soothing music. The "thought" scrolls up the
screen as the narrator speaks the words.
A friend mailed this list of Deep Thoughts compiled by someone. As
you read them, remember the peaceful atmosphere of the SNL bit.
==========
Deep Thoughts
By Jack Handey
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us died of tuberculosis.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:
"Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and
"ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is
mankind.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't
just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good
ideas.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him,
and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin
Bob."
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is
they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then,
when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was
THAT?!"
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite
and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny
plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like
ambition.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors
came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a
good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger,
screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I
guess I'm a coward.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture,
is the story of Popeye.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they
ever press charges.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography,
and the dancers hit each other.
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a
solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at
them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of
striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was
free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending
he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered
where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the
circus, and a clown killed my dad.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was
very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A
HUMAN HEAD!!
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been
painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a
child look like a deer.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We
might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head
out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make
people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm
myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell.
When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on
the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head
with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no
harm done.
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets
right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep
the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to
that.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe
you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey,
free dummy.
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet
you can really see it in those genitals.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck,
and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what
is that thing.
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he
made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she
disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to
dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he
told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I
remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive
and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees
there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever
sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat
some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things
never leave you.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is
"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to
tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is
not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an
elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said
it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her
suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke
- just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my
little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out
warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried,
but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started
to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think
liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong,
though. It's Hambone.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her
dinner tasted like.
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we
wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he
picked up in town.
I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to
town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I
thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and
how I named him Flint.
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real
embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell
on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are
all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were
swimming.
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd
all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us.
It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're
sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of
fur.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 09:21:45 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: Introduction of the Day
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU
Lady Augusta, meet Alan Turing. Alan Turing, Ada Augusta.
"... there is no finite line of demarcation which limits the powers
of the Analytical Engine."
-- Ada Augusta, Countess of Lovelace
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 08:43:26 EST
From: Gene Spafford <spaf@uther.cs.purdue.edu>
Subject: it's that time of the year again
To: rissa@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us (Patricia O Tuama)
[My response to "Who do you think should be named Time Magazine's
Person of the Year?" --spaf]
The winner should be (in no particular order):
Axl Rose, for showing that the American Dream is still alive -- it
is possible to get rich and famous with no talent, vulgar behavior,
and a generally shitty attitude
David Duke, for helping to illustrate that the the only difference
between the Republican right and the lunatic fringe is one's fervor
in singing "White Christmas" during the other 11 months of the year.
The S&L Scandal, for helping to move our government oh-so-closer to
fiscal bankruptcy to match its moral bankruptcy.
Clarence Thomas, for showing that the American Dream is still
alive -- it is possible to get a job on the Supreme Court with
questionable talent, vulgar behavior, and using racism as a defense.
Besides, no one from Pinpoint Georgia has ever won yet.
Anita Hill, for showing such grace and poise under pressure and
vilification.
Pat Buchanan, and all the Democratic presidential candidates, for
their unbounded optimism.
Saddam Hussein, for comeback of the century, and for being more
liberal than Pat Buchanan.
Ollie North, for showing that the American Dream is still alive --
it is possible to break the law, but by stalling, destroying evidence,
withholding testimony, legal manuevering, and having a brain-dead
boss, it is still possible to make lots of money, beat the rap, and be
admired by many.
Jimmy Swaggart, for showing us that the Devil is alive and well,
and is having his mail forwarded to Jimmy's trousers.
Ted Kennedy, for helping to inspire countless thousands. Like
Jimmy Swaggart, Pee Wee Herman, his nephew Willie, ....
Madonna, for showing that the American Dream is still alive --
shameless self-promotion, simulated masturbation on stage, and
tacky behavior can still lead to riches & fame.
The NRA, for continuing to keep a straight face while claiming
that semi-automatic assault rifles and machine pistols are used for
sport and hunting....and getting law-makers to agree.
The TV networks, for broadcasting live the Thomas hearings and Wee
Willie's testimony from Florida, but not airing condom commercials
because the "content might be offensive."
Gene Roddenberry, who gave more of us a future to dream about
than any of the other bozos listed above.
Almost but not quites:
Pee Wee Herman, for not realizing that it has to be done on stage
to music to be legal. Thank heavens he didn't try to claim it was a
promo for "Pee Wee's Big Adventure," an attempt at safe sex, or that
he was really "Long Dong Silver."
Manuel Noriega, for not selling out and taking a big sum of money
for his legal defense by doing a commercial for Clearasil.
Dan Quayle, for not joining the National Guard to stay out of the
Gulf War, and for his continuing eloquence and statesmanship.
Dr. Kevorkian, for not picking less controversial users of his
suicide machine....like lawyers & politicians.
And of course, the real winner is the average American citizen, who
can't lift his or her nose away from a GameBoy long enough to get
concerned about the above. More of them write fan letters for "Golden
Girls" than write their Congress-critters about anything.
--spaf, somewhat more cynical this morning than most
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 12:13:44 -0800
From: brian@UCSD.EDU (Brian Kantor)
Subject: It sucks!
To: spaf
From: aahz@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (no relation)
Subject: cyberwear for YOU! TODAY!
>From San Jose Mercury News, December 15 1991
HUMAN VACUUM CAUGHT
Bangkok authorities have in their clutches a Brazilian who
turned himself into a human vacuum cleaner by allegedly using a
surgically implanted tube to suck up diamonds from the displays of
Thai gem merchants. Julio Cesar de Monraes Barros sucked up gems
through a small hole in the little finger of his left hand, police
said. From there the diamonds were carried through a tube
implanted in his hand to an external tube under his shirt sleeve
that was connected to a pump operated in his armpit.
------------------------------
Date: 15 Dec 91 14:32:02 GMT
From: ClaudeRains@InviSys.COM.atlantis
Subject: Looking for Amelia Earhart
Newsgroups: talk.rumors
Anyone seen Amelia Earhart recently? We were supposed to meet
somewhere in the Caribbean (near Bermuda, I think)! She probably left
me for that Hoffa guy (ain't seen him in awhile either)...
Oh no! Now I can't find my .sig, either! Oh, here it is...
--
Claude Rains - President & Senior Systems Engineer
ClaudeRains@InviSys.COM.atlantis
Invisible Systems, Inc. --- "If you don't see it, we made it!"
"So that's what an invisible barrier looks like!" -- Time Bandits
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 05:47:06 -0800
From: brian@UCSD.EDU (Brian Kantor)
Subject: Professional Courtesy
To: spaf
>From the Letters to the Editor column, LA Times, Sunday Dec 15th.
"What we've seen with the Broderick trials is that San Diego juries
simply do not view the murder of a lawyer as a capital offense.
I wonder if all Californians and, indeed, all Americans may not
share that sentiment." - David Kolpacoff, El Cajon
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 91 09:18:26 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: QOTD
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU
One form to rule them all, one form to find them, one form to bring them
all and in the darkness rewrite the hell out of them.
-- Sendmail ruleset 3 comment from DEC
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 14 Dec 1991 11:30:22 PST
From: "Christopher A. Kent" <kent@parc.xerox.com>
Subject: qual questions
To: Gene Spafford <spaf>
[The qual questions in the previous Yucks were written by Dick Gabriel in
response to a real qual written by Brian Reid. The following was part
of the correspondence that ensued, and is a classic. Note the date. --spaf]
---
Date: 7 Apr 1977 1712-EST
From: Bob Chansler at CMU-10A
Reply-To: Lord High Executier@CMU-10A
Subject: Re: Close, but no cigar
To: BRIAN.REID at CMU-10A
CC: chansler@CMU-10A
Sender: BOB.CHANSLER at CMU-10A
Message-ID: [CMU-10A] 7 Apr 1977 17:12:49 Bob Chansler
In-Reply-To: Your message of April 6, 1977
My-Seq-#: 39492094
Yr-Seq-#: 4992488
Class: A
Subclass: MCMXLVII
Author: fred
Typist: fred
Terminal: TTY88
FE-L#: 44
Reason: Did Godzilla need a reason?
Valid: Not before 12 Apr 1977 1321Z
Suspend: After 19 Apr 1977 0000Z
Spelling-errors-this-message: 0
Spelling-errors-to-date: 23
Weather: Light rain, fog.
Forcast: Clearing by morning
Psych-evaluation-of-sender: slightly unstable
Security-level: Public
Security-sublevel: 0
Authority-to-send: general
Authority-to-rcv: general
#-people-in-terminal-room: 12
XGP: UP-cutter not working
Ht/Wt-sender: 76/205
Machines: M&Ms available but almond machine is empty
M&Ms-Last-Nickel: 17
Remailed-To: John.Zsarnay at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: Peter.Schwarz at CMU-10A
Remailed-Date: Saturday, 22 September 1979 0155-EDT
Origin: C410PS20 at CMU-10A; 22 Sep 1979 0155-EDT
Remailed-To: Mike.Accetta at CMUA
Remailed-From: John.Zsarnay at CMU-10A (A650JZ04)
Remailed-Date: 22 September 1979 1615-EDT
Origin: A650JZ04 at CMU-10A; 22 Sep 1979 1616-EDT
Remailed-To: Fil.Alleva at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: Mike Accetta <Mike.Accetta at CMU-10A> (A650MA33)
Remailed-Date: Saturday, 22 September 1979 2004-EDT
Via: CMU-10A; 22 Sep 1979 2006-EDT
Remailed-To: Ken.Wertz at CMU-10B
Remailed-From: Fil.Alleva at CMU-10B (A650FA33)
Remailed-Date: Monday, 24 September 1979 1023-EDT
Via: CMU-10B; 24 Sep 1979 1025-EDT
Remailed-To: Don.Provan at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: Krafty Ken Wertz <Ken.Wertz at CMU-10A>
Remailed-Date: Monday, 24 September 1979 1029-EDT
Origin: C425KW0F at CMU-10A; 24 Sep 1979 1036-EDT
Remailed-To: Carolyn.Councill at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: don.provan at CMU-10A
Remailed-Date: Monday, 24 September 1979 1054-EDT
Origin: C425DP0N at CMU-10A; 24 Sep 1979 1055-EDT
Remailed-To: Eddie.Caplan @ CMUA
Remailed-From: Carolyn.Councill at CMU-10A (C425CC33)
Remailed-Date: Monday, 24 September 1979 1631-EDT
Origin: C425CC33 at CMU-10A; 24 Sep 1979 1632-EDT
Remailed-To: lawrence.butcher at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: eddie caplan <EC0F at CMU-10A>
Remailed-Date: 24 September 1979 1634-EDT
Origin: C425EC0F at CMU-10A; 24 Sep 1979 1635-EDT
Remailed-To: Mike Kazar at CMU-10A, Craig Everhart at CMU-10A
Remailed-From: Lawrence Butcher at CMU-10A (X335LB50)
Remailed-Date: Tuesday, 25 September 1979 1811-EDT
Origin: X335LB50 at CMU-10A; 25 Sep 1979 1812-EDT
Remailed-To: sipb @ mc
Remailed-From: Mike Kazar <Mike.Kazar at CMU-10A> (C410MK50)
Remailed-Date: Wednesday, 26 September 1979 0009-EDT
I do not understand your concern about the size of message headers.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 14 Dec 91 09:35:30 -0500
From: lark@world.std.com (Lar Kaufman)
Subject: Stupid Phone Number Tricks
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
I guess you all know about the help-line for aggies needing an ego boost?
1-800-AGGIE-IQ
[Try it. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 16 Dec 91 14:17:36 -0500
From: bzs@world.std.com (Barry Shein)
Subject: submitted without comment...
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Transit Authority Police announce Friday the arrest
of three persons as suspects in a fake subway token ring at John F.
Kennedy International Airport.
Al O'Leary, a spokesman for Transit Police said the fake tokens were
sold in packs of 10 for $6.20 and 100 for $65 in plastic envelopes with
the label ``Time Saver Pack.''
The packs also bore the phrase ``electronically tested and
lubricated,'' which the suspects told police they borrowed from a condom
package.
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------