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PERSONALS
From: casey@gauss.llnl.gov (Casey Leedom)
The Bay Area Express
Friday December 14, 1990
Pages 93-95
[[The Bay Area Express is a local free weekly newspaper that covers
entertainment, people, art, issues, etc. in the San Francisco Bay Area.
They have a personals section but have split out the ``Looking for
someone special ...'' ads into separate sections: "Mathes: Women seeking
men," "Matches: Men seeking women," "Matches: women seeking women,"
"Matches: men seeking men," etc. These plus the personals are one of my
favorite parts of the paper (does this make me a "muffin"?) Here are
some excerpts for your enjoyment:]]
MATCHES: women seeking men
Transpersonal Therapist, 43, southwest, kachinas, kivas, seeks
life partner. Sacred art, sacred ways, travel, spiritual paths,
earth mother.
Seeking Working Man Boots. And well built, unself-conscious,
spontaneous animal to fill them. Photo of boots absolutely
necessary.
Me: White Female, 5'3", 123, 40ish, the usual stuff: attractive,
homeowner, degreed, perfect, god-like, no scars, marks or tattoos.
You: no prior felonies, maximum three moving violations, not
obese or born again.
Discontented Woman seeks compassionate, attractive, progressive
man, late 20's to 40. I'm 29, an artist (painter), outgoing,
bisexual, nonsmoker with Mediterranean good looks.
MATCHES: men seeking women
Alacritous Aging Alchemist would appreciate dancing muse for
transformational leap via lighthearted lust: flesh into spirit,
angst into angstroms. ``Buttons''
Cross Out This Ad. Lazy (but athletically fit), bored, cynical
male seeks attractive younger female. I'm 5'8", 145, 41, with
Master's degree in impractical field. Think about me or send me
a kiss.
Allergies: religion, parenting, mammal slaughter, commercialism,
fast food, stress, heavy metal, commercial radio, call waiting,
Eurocentricism, consumerism, television, WASP ``culture,''
Jewish American Princesses, yuppies, tobacco smoke, 49ers.
Womyn Of Power; man, 31, wants to meet womyn who are looking for
men who will follow your orders. Please allow me to serve you.
Literate Succubus Wanted.
MATCHES: women seeking women
Wanted: Fun-Loving Polkamaniac to share Victorian-Regency
escapades. Are you comfortable in hoop skirts and Empire gowns?
How about some medieval escapades, too?
MATCHES: men seeking men
Submissive, Gay White male into good-looking, drinker, smoker,
party boy, 21, 6'1", 175 pounds. Into seedy all nighters and
dark fantasies with good-looking older man.
MATCHES: either/both
Masculinized Lesbian, 5'2", 110 pound bodybuilder seeks lean,
muscular, athletic bi-male for casual occasions.
Hairy, Muscular masculine woman is sought by a fit, kind, sensuous,
sensitive white male (40s) for friendship, romance and possible
intimacy. Female to male transsexual pre-op welcome.
PERSONALS
Out-Of-Body Get-Together. Do you have out-of-body experiences as
you fall asleep? Can you leave your body or enter the astral
plane through meditation or magic? Let's meet! But leave your
physical body at home! Weekly gathering of spirits, souls and
astral bodies, Wednesdays at midnight, 10 feet above the top of
the campanile, UC Berkeley campus. Next meeting Wednesday,
December 19. Open to everyone who shows up! Just concentrate.