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Top 10 `Dumbest Toys in Toyland'

     By Jane Clifford Copley News Service -- Joanne Oppenheim puts
together the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio as a guide to the best in
children's toys and games. But she couldn't resist the urge to
highlight what she considers some of the worst.
     So, here is her top-10 list of (and comments about) "The Dumbest
Toys in Toyland."
       Baby Shivers. "Doll shivers when you take her clothes off.
Don't we all?"
       Magic Nursery Doll. "Is it a boy or is it a girl? Dip the
dolly's homecoming robe (in water) and find out. How's this for sex
mis- education?"
       Dream Builders. "Pink and lilac plastic blocks designed
specifically for girls. Themes of kits are: nursery, playground and
deluxe doll house. No office towers here."
       Call the Plumber. "An action game played over a plastic tub
that looks more like a toilet. Object is to retrieve color-coded
marbles before they go down the drain--like your money."
       Pretty Cut 'N' Grow. "Doll with yarn hair to cut. No, it
doesn't grow back. Comes with one replacement wig. After that, you
throw the doll away or buy more wigs."
       Cool Cuts Kara. "Same idea with silky hair."
       Baby Uh Oh. "Wets and poops in diapers if given ice water.
What a surprise. Reusable diapers come clean with warm water. Should
receive the ecology award."
       Pigtails & Ponytails, the Comb 'N Curl Matching Game. "Hair
play makes its way to the most ridiculous board game, where players
compete for a full head of barrettes and lose if they end up with the
dreaded `nasty curler'."
       I Can't Do A Thing With My Hair! "Yet another competitive hair
accessory game. Must be a trend."
       Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Playset. "Complete with
realistic sewer pipe passageways. Give us a break. Buy action or
turtle figures, if you must. Let them build their own sewers."
     Most of the list is girl toys, she says, because "there are more
sappy, saccharine, distasteful, airhead, insulting toys for girls.
     "There seems to be this mentality at work that girls are only
interested in hair play ... That's sexist and stereotypical."
     And, while Oppenheim is much in favor of dolls, the ones on her
hit list are just too realistic.p-10 "dumbest" list were chosen because
Oppenheim says they are a waste of children's time.
     "Many run on novelty, and when it wears off, there's little play
value," she says. "They're not going to damage a child--I'm
certainly not saying that. They're just silly."

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