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From my archives



I was looking for something else, and found this.   For years, people
have been posting "car for sale" ads on the Usenet so they go
worldwide.  Nothing like the people in Korea and Italy knowing about
that sweet deal on your 73 Chevy....

Anyhow, the following was probably the best analysis of the situation
I ever saw.  I still laugh out loud when I read this.  I hope you do
to.

>> From islenet!bob Fri Sep 28 03:11:34 1984
>> From: bob@islenet.UUCP (Robert P. Cunningham)
>> Newsgroups: net.followup,net.wanted
>> Subject: Re: Car for Sale. (secret of net.general revealed)
>> Date: 28 Sep 84 07:11:34 GMT
>> Organization: Hawaii Institute of Geophysics
>> 
>> [begin lampoon mode]
>> 
>> Seeing the articles in net.general for apartments to let in
>> Mississippi and '67 Plymouths for sale in Chicago I used to wonder:
>> Why would people advertise such things worldwide?
>> 
>> No more.  I've put 2+2 together, thanks to an obscure federal government
>> census report.  I now know the secret behind such postings.
>> 
>> The "Place of Work" report, compiled from 1980 federal census survey data,
>> describes the way people travel to their jobs in the U.S.  It's meant to
>> used by government agencies for transportation planning.
>> 
>> I found much mundane information about the state & city where I live.
>> E.g., the state of Hawaii has 412,307 workers, of which various percentages
>> travel to work via various means of transportation.
>> 
>> However...
>> 
>> Thirty-three people working in Honolulu reported that they rode to their jobs
>> in a subway, elevated train or by railroad.  Rather strange, since as far
>> as I know, Honolulu has never had a subway or elevated train...and the
>> railroads went out of business in the 1920's.
>> 
>> Could this mean that there is a secret rail transportation system, known only
>> to those 33 people?
>> 
>> Eight people living outside the state reported that it took them an average
>> of 28.4 minutes to commute to their jobs via bus vs. the 36.8 minutes it
>> took the 32,984 workers who live in the state to get to their jobs via bus.
>> 
>> The state of Hawaii is completely isolated in the middle of the Pacific
>> Ocean.  I refuse to believe those eight people live on the ocean.  Does
>> this mean that these eight people have access to a bus capable of making
>> quick overseas trips?
>> 
>> It gets even more interesting...
>> 
>> Exactly 204 people who live OUTSIDE the state WALK to work.  Presumably by
>> walking on water.
>> 
>> And - according to the report - there are MORE THAN 1,000 people who live
>> outside the state and travel to work by car.
>> 
>> I'd thought the out-of-state car license plates I saw in Honolulu were
>> simply the same plates that those cars had before being brought over here by
>> ship.  According to the federal report, I was wrong.  Some of those drivers
>> obviously commute daily.
>> 
>> Then, the other day, the proof.  I saw a '67 Plymouth with Illinois license
>> plates on the Lunalilo Freeway.  Note that despite its Hawaiian name, the
>> freeway is part of the federal "Interstate Highway" system!
>> 
>> Pulling up beside the car, I yelled over to the driver, "Did you actually
>> drive that car all the way to Hawaii?"
>> 
>> His answer was "Right.  Sure!"  He laughed and drove away, and I didn't
>> have a chance to ask him if he got the car through an advertisement in
>> net.general.
>> 
>> However, there's little doubt left in my mind.  The evidence is plain:
>> those old cars advertised worldwide because they are capable of
>> fast, WORLDWIDE travel!
>> 
>> In order to fully uncover the secret of net.general, I intend to buy the
>> very next '67 Plymouth advertised there for sale in Illinois, and learn
>> the secret of rapid intercontinental travel.  Who knows, some day I
>> may be able to commute from that apartment in Mississippi!
>> -- 
>> Bob Cunningham   ..{dual,ihnp4,vortex}!islenet!bob
>> Honolulu, Hawaii