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[Werner Uhrig: Dial M For Monster]

------- Forwarded Message

Date:    Fri, 21 Sep 90 03:52:44 -0500 
From:    Werner Uhrig <werner@rascal.ics.utexas.edu>
To:      to-people-who-like-to-smile:;@rascal.ics.utexas.edu@cs.purdue.edu
Subject: Dial M For Monster

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Date: Fri, 21 Sep 90 09:34:45 +0200
From: Jay Rolls <jrolls@frg.bbn.com>
Subject: Dial M For Monster
To: dail_M:@frg.bbn.com

>From the 20 Aug issue of Communications Week.

Doesn't really apply to us here in Germany, but thought it was funny
nonetheless. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Modern technology has turned loose a modern monster.  It doesn't
matter where you are - the creature eventually will find you. It has an easy
way to get you - it travels through the telephone network.

    Like all monsters, this one strikes at unexpected times in unexpected
places...It's evening.  You're home alone.  The phone rings.  Then, when you
pick up the receiver, you know the creature by its voice.  It's a salesman's
voice.  A recording of a salesman's voice.

    "Hi, this is Blah Blah with Blah Blah Enterprises.  You've been selected
to win one of three prizes:  either $25,000, a trip for two to the Caribbean,
or a big-screen television.  There's no obligation to buy anything.  All you
have to do is call 540-I-WIN.  That's 540-I-WIN.  Call now.  540-I-WIN.
That's 540-I-WIN."

    Then, as Mr. Blah finishes, he blurts out, "This call will cost you
$8.95."  You probably miss that part.

    Sound like a close encounter of the worst kind?  It is.  Sound like the
outer limits of acceptable business practice?  It is.  Sound like Norman
Bates has invested in the voice-processing business?  You get the idea.

    These telephone hobgoblins originate in auto-dial systems that can be
programmed to dial hundreds of telephone numbers simultaneously.  Our
company's telecom manager tells me these systems are called "demon dialers."

    When the phone is answered, the electronic salesman starts his sales
pitch.  Most people hang up.  Others, though, get caught in the psychological
trap.  You can see what's waiting for them from a mile away, but they walk
right into it.  "Stop!" you think.  "Don't call that number!"  But they do.
AAAAHHHHH! There goes $8.95.

    And what happens when the electronic salesman calls and your
voice-answering machine answers?  Then you've entered a new realm of The
Telephone Zone: prerecorded messages talking to each other.  Who knows what
conversations go on?  Both systems talking, neither one listening.  So human,
it's scary.

    And what happens when the electronic salesman comes knocking on your
company's PBX and starts calling every extension on the system?

    If it happens on the weekend when most employees are out of the office,
it turns into voice-mail mayhem.  Hundreds of recorded employee voices and
the electronic salesman chattering away, filling up memory on the voice-mail
system.  To the security guard, all appears well.  But the message-waiting
lamps begin to light up on phones throughout the building, the PBX closet
starts to heat up and smoke begins to creep out from under the crack in the
door...

    At best, unsolicited calls from speed-dial systems are an annoyance.  At
worst, they invade voice-mail systems and take gullible people's money.  So
be wary; you never know when the electronic salesman will call on you.  The
next time the phone rings, be prepared.  As soon as you hear his voice, tell
him in a detached and unemotional tone, "Sorry, wrong number."

------- End of Forwarded Message