[Prev][Next][Index]

No Subject

Path: purdue!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!snorkelwacker!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken!looking!watmath!maytag!oddjob!watserv1!looking!funny-request
From: ranjit@grad1.cis.upenn.edu (Ranjit Bhatnagar)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: New Isms for the 90s
Keywords: original, chuckle
Message-ID: <S18c.5145@looking.on.ca>
Date: 17 Sep 90 23:30:07 GMT
Lines: 64
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca

		New Crossbred ISMs for the 90's

Blaspheminism.
	"Take the patriarchy and stuff it up your Messiah."
Antisocialism.
	"The heart of the Nation is the worker who works alone."
Intercommunism.	
	"The proletariat shall not rest until the means of communication 
	 have been wrested from the hands of the bourgoisie."
Andy Cappitalism.
	"Lend me five quid, luv?"  "Cor, you're not investing in S&Ls again!?"
Parterrorism.
	"Take this plane to Cuba or we overwater the flower garden!"
Robotulism.
	"And in Detroit, another six dozen industrial welders succumbed
	 to Mrs Dorfmann's canned beans today, bringing the total costs to..."
Superegotism.
	"My conscience is bigger than yours."
Seconaltruism.
	"I love humanity... as long as I take these pills twice a day."
Salad Barbarism.
	"Emperor!  The Vandals demand croutons!  And forty stone of cress!"
Rose Bolshevism.
	"...with just two minutes on the clock, Leningrad needs two 
	touchdowns to take the game..."
Siliconservatism.
	"Keep the Free Market free of foreign memory chips!"
ACLUphemism.
	"I hear your son is a card carrying member of the- um- the
	Willie Horton Fan Club."
Kleenexorcism.
	"In the name of the Lord, SNEEZE the devil right out of ya!"
Hey Judaism.
	"Don't make it bad.  Take a Seder song and make it better..."
Christmasochism.
	"It's December 23rd!  I must get to the mall!"
Cecil B. DeMilitarism.
	"Rambo III, sweatier than ever, kills a cast of thousands!"
Frayed Nazism.
	"We don't serve Strings in this bar."
Malaproptimism.
	"It'll come out alright in the wash."
Tresspacifism.
	"We're occupying this missile base until the arms reduction 
	treaty is signed."
Lollipopulism.
	"There's a Sucker born every minute."
Max Headrheumatism.
	"Wh- wh- where's my Ben GGGGGay?"
Sadism so!
	"Shoeless Joe Jackson was suspended for whipping a batboy..."
Aerosolipsism.
	"Just one person using flourocarbons won't make a difference..."

--
original isms by RB 21 aug 90 --
Copyright 1990 Ranjit Bhatnagar
--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

If you don't need a reply, submit to rhf@looking.on.ca instead.