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Yucks Digest V1 #13
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To: yucks
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Subject: Yucks Digest V1 #13
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From: spaf (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
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Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 19:23:58 EST
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Reply-To: Yucks-request
Yucks Digest Fri, 1 Feb 91 Volume 1 : Issue 13
Today's Topics:
News Update - OSF & UNIX wars
A joke
Research in Action
Dallas Usenix Contest Results
Finally, some good news for for Iraq
I don't much care if it rains or freezes...
Odds & Ends
More Irreproducible Results
Our Brave Computer Languages in the Gulf (2 msgs)
SUN MICROSYSTEMS. TO SCRAP UNIX, REFINE OS/2
The Gulf War strikes
top ten facets of bush's state-of-the-union speech
The Demon Seed, Revisited
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual, the
possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous. It is issued on a
semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present themselves.
Back issues may be ftp'd from arthur.cs.purdue.edu from
the ~ftp/pub/spaf/yucks directory. Material in archives
Mail.1--Mail.4 is not in digest format.
Submissions should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: allans@hisdesk (Allan Meers - Sun Education)
Subject: News Update - OSF & UNIX wars
Date: 30 Jan 91 15:42:11 GMT
The Open Software Foundation has now tested its first
product for the third world computer user -
"SCUD"
Software for Computers Unfashionable & Discardable
Following OSF philosophy, the outdated SCUD isn't aimed at anything in
particular, seldom hits a target, and is really just a terrorist weapon.
------------------------------
Date: 29 Jan 91 23:11:17 GMT
From: ciekansk@bgsuvax.UUCP (Jennifer Ciekanski)
Subject: A joke
Newsgroups: rec.humor
[Warning -- you'll be sorry you read this one. --spaf]
There are these two baby horses on a horse farm, Mike and Chuck. One
day they decide to have a race to see who the faster horse is. So
Mike and Chuck get ready to race - AND THEY'RE OFF...
It's Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck,
Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck... around the old oak tree... it's
Mike, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike,
Chuck, Mike, Chuck... AND CHUCK WINS!
So Mike says to Chuck, "I suppose you are the faster horse. Congradu-
lations, you win."
Both horses eventually grow up and are sold to different owners. About
a year later they meet up at the horse races. Mike is convinced he is
the faster horse of the two now, so he asks for another race. So Mike
and Chuck get ready to race - AND THEY'RE OFF...
It's Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck,
Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck... around the bend... it's Mike, Mike,
Mike, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike,
Chuck, Mike, Chuck... AND CHUCK WINS AGAIN!
So Mike says to Chuck once again, "I suppose you are still the faster
horse. Congradulations, you win again."
A few years later they meet up at a very large, prestiguge, horse race.
Mike has been working really hard and he hasn't lost a race in a long
time. He is convinced he can beat Chuck now, so he asks for another
race. So Mike and Chuck get ready to race - AND THEY'RE OFF...
It's Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck,
Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck... around the bend... it's Mike, Mike
Mike, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike,
Chuck, Mike, Chuck... AND CHUCK WINS AGAIN!
Now Mike is getting a little upset that he can't beat his old pal, but
he is a good sport about it and congradulates him just the same. Once
again, they go they're separate ways.
A year later they meet in the Kentucky Derby. Mike says to Chuck that
he will rest until they race again, because he knows that he can now
beat him. So Mike and Chuck get ready to race - AND THEY'RE OFF...
It's Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck,
Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck... around the bend... it's Mike, Mike,
Mike, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike,
Chuck, Mike, Chuck... AND CHUCK WINS AGAIN!!
Mike is getting very angry that he can't win against Chuck, but never-
the-less, he congradulates him.
Several years pass and Mike and Chuck are now old and retired and they
meet up at the "Old Horse's Farm." They recall old times and Mike
brings up the fact that he could never beat Chuck in a race. So Chuck
says, "I'll tell you what, old buddy, let's have one last race right
now. This time, though, I'll let you win! Will that make you happy?"
Mike says that this would make him very happy! So Mike and Chuck get
ready to race - AND THEY'RE OFF...
It's Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck,
Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck... around the old oak tree... it's
Mike, Chuck, Mike, Mike, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Mike,
Chuck, Mike, Chuck... AND CHUCK WINS AGAIN!!!
Now Mike is really pissed! He starts screaming at Chuck, "YOU SAID
THAT YOU'D LET ME WIN THIS TIME! YOU LIED TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MY FRIEND! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LET ME WIN THIS ONE RACE AND I
WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY IN MY OLD AGE!!!!"
And the pig that was watching the whole thing jumps in on Mike's side,
"I can't believe you did that, Chuck. That was a really rotten thing
to do to your old pal."
Mike and Chuck both look at the pig and Mike says to Chuck, "Look,
a talking pig."
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 91 21:37:25 PST
Subject: Research in Action
From: AP Wire
To: spaf
[It's nice to know, with the Gulf War going on, that the really
important things in life are still being studied.... --spaf]
Forum Keys On Study Of Orgasm
NEW DELHI, India (AP)
More than 500 doctors and researchers are gathering in the world's
second most populous country for the "First International Conference
on Orgasm," where one of the topics is how to have more sex and fewer
children.
The doctor who planned the four-day conference, which begins
Sunday, says couples can have more fun and fewer babies if they have
a better understanding of lovemaking.
"Understanding the fact that pleasure and procreation are
different will give an additional boost to the family planning
program," Dr. Prakash Kothari said.
He said understanding orgasm can also help reduce booming birth
rates in places like India, where the population of 880 million will
reach the one billion by the year 2000 unless the present birth rate
of one baby nearly every second is slowed.
Kothari says even doctors who specialize in research and treatment
of sex problems have a lot to learn about the sex act.
Doctors and researchers from 30 countries are expected to
participate in the conference, billed as a chance to discuss myths
and misperceptions about sexual intercourse.
Kothari said sex experts in both the East and West are often
unable to communicate with each other, let alone their patients,
about what's normal and abnormal in orgasmic functions.
Kothari, who directs a Bombay clinic that diagnoses and treats
male and female sexual dysfunctions, said one common misperception is
that male ejaculation is the same as orgasm. "Present scientific
knowledge proclaims that orgasm and ejaculation are not synonymous.
There is a clearcut distinction between the two.
"Both these things have separate neural circuits, which has been
proved neurophysiologically. Although both orgasm and ejaculation
usually occur simultaneously, the former can be experienced without
the latter and vice-versa," he says.
Kothari, author of books on sexual physiology, said his 18 years
of sex research have convinced him that everyone from high-society
sophisticates to illiterate villagers can enjoy sex more and be more
receptive to using birth control methods if they understand what
happens during orgasm.
He said simple education has been able to dispel myths that
vasectomies and tubectomies lessen sexual pleasure.
The conference was organized by the Indian Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Co-sponsors are the Kinsey
Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, located at
Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana; the Japanese Association
for Sex Education; the Department of Sexual Medicine, Seth Gordhandas
Sunderdas Medical College in Bombay; and King Edward Memorial
Hospital, Bombay.
The subjects to be discussed tend to have rather academic titles,
such as "Neuropharmacology of Orgasm" and "Orgasm --Cross Cultural
Patterns."
But the conference opens in this land of the Kama Sutra, the
ancient manual of lovemaking, with an exhibition of erotic art and
includes an evening of erotic dance. And the information kit includes
a key chain whose medallion shows an abstract but definitely
intertwined couple.
------------------------------
Date: 1 Feb 91 02:45:22 GMT
From: grob@chorus.fr (Lori Grob)
Subject: Dallas Usenix Contest Results
Newsgroups: comp.org.usenix
The following are the results of the contest at the Dallas Usenix.
The contest was to name features that you would like to see in a window
system. The rules of the contest (such as they were) were not
interpreted strictly.
Some entries came up again and again:
windex - cleans all you windows at once
the boss window manager - at the approach of your management
your tetris game/rogue/news ... changes into
an icon marked overtime
patriot window features
scud window features
And Honarable Honarable mention to Henry Spencer who wanted a feature
that would let him delete the features that he didn't want and reclaim
the memory.
The following entries won Honorable Mention:
Pavolovian Response Windowing: If a mouse button is depressed in an area
of the screen that is not valid, an electric shock** will be given
to the user via the mouse. This allows for a quicker learning
curve.
**Requires hardware modification
by Evan Marks
Benchmark Mode Window Decoration: The designated window suddenly appears
more impressive than any other window on the screen. Causes confusion
when applied to multiple windows simultaneously.
Uniforum Mode Window Enlargement: Doubles the size of the indicated window
but halves the information content.
by J. Schwab
An interactive C compiler with digitized sounds of Evi Nemeth's (Usenix
Board member and Professor) voice. If ever someone type's an obvious mistake
while editing a .c file, her voice will sound and laugh at you
by Brent Cromley
4D option: by analogy to the 3-D look of buttons in NeXtstep and Motif
This option puts your workstationm into hyperspace. This allows
you to display results before they are computed.
by Eric Allman
Visual Focus: I was LOOKING at THAT window **** that's where I wanted
my input to GO! (Now how do I tell vi to "undo everything I did in
the last 10 seconds?")
by Dan Klein
The bad pun award to Evan Leibovitch for the following:
An icon depiction of Sally Field: The Gidget Widget
3rd place to Rick Sabourin for:
MWM: the manager window manager. It intelligently reconfigures itself
to the ineptitude of the user. In an emergency, it kills all
windows and runs a Lotus emulator.
2nd place to Brent Cromley (a young man who obviously spent all his time
at the conference entering contests and hiding from his programming
professors) for:
An animated screen saver that displays several frames of Rob Kolstad (Usenix
Board member and moderator of the systems administration panel sessions)
dancing in a tutu.
1st prize to Ben Fried and Mark Kennedy for the following 6 entries
(sorted from good to best)
PWM: The Pencom Window Manager- Flirts with you until you actually start
using it.
DBWM: Dan Bernstein's Window Manager Argues for 10 weeks before resizing your
window.
ASPWM: Alt.sex.pictures window manager icons your mother never told
you about.
AWM: Allman's window manager - A little cryptic but functional and we just
love that secret debug feature.
SunWM Seperately sold components to iconify, move, resize, put up menus...
Unbundled means more freedom for customers.
CMUWM: Not a window manager, just a place holder for the one you can buy
from OSF or TransArc.
------------------------------
Date: 1 Feb 91 08:20:06 GMT
From: jkf@franz.com (Sean Foderaro)
Subject: Finally, some good news for for Iraq
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Baghdad Radio reports that Iraq's Scud missles have intercepted and
destroyed incoming Patriot missiles seven times. The Patriots were launched
from Israel and Saudi Arabia and never even made it to Iraq's borders before
they were destroyed. The advanced Iraqi early warning system has
permitted the intercepting Scud missle to be launched before
the Patriot missle it will destroy.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 09:07:46 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: I don't much care if it rains or freezes...
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU
From: David Gingold <gingold@think.com>
I got a renewal request from the Sacred Heart Auto League in the mail
Monday. The letter below explains what this wonderful organization
is all about.
Dear Auto League Member,
Whether you consider driving a boring and
aggravating routine or an exhilarating experience,
membership in the Sacred Heart Auto League will turn
your driving into a spiritual exercise of great
value. Now is the time to renew your membership.
Members learn to live their whole
lives in union, in touch with the
Sacred Heart of Jesus. A routine
aspect of their lives such as driv-
ing can be a good place to deepen
that relationship with Jesus.
The Lord did say "Ask, and you shall receive."
We need to implore His blessings on our vehicles and
turn what some consider a boring and profitless rou-
tine into a prayer. Auto League members do believe
in prayerful, careful, and reparative driving.
With these great blessings that God bestows
upon us in our driving, however, also come respon-
sibilities. By driving reparatively, we make repar-
ation for careless and negligent drivers and we
become more attentive and prayerful.
The Driver's Prayer, which you
receive with your membership,
encourages you to dedicate each
mile of your travels as a prayer.
Please continue to pray it always.
Your gift enables us to promote devotion to
the Sacred Heart of Jesus and to engage in many
apostolic works in His name.
Finally, as a member of the Sacred Heart Auto
League, you share in the manifold blessings of the
Mass offered daily for all members. May God bless
and protect you in all your travels.
Sincerly in the Heart of Christ,
(signed)
Fr. Bob Hess
....
You can can request your own membership by writing to:
Father Bob Hess
Sacred Heart Auto League
Walls, Mississippi 38686-0010
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 30 Jan 1991 20:05:44 PST
From: cate3.osbu_north@xerox.com
Subject: Odss & Ends
Estimated amount of fat surgically removed from Americans in 1988,
in pounds: 200,400
Estimated amount of silicone and collagen implanted in Americans in 1988,
in pounds: 63,250
Amount of dehydrated, drug-free urine sold by Byrd Laboratories of
Austin, Texas, since 1986, in reconstituted gallons: 1,000
Percentage of children in 1988 who said that Pee-wee Herman was
"highly qualified" to be president: 8
Percentage who said that Michael Dukakis was "highly qualified": 8
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires
businesses within the city to provide rails for tieing up horses.
There is/was a law on the books in Washington state that stated that a
motorcar driven at night must be preceded by something like 100 yards
by a man carrying a lantern.....
Stupid laws: In the England it is illegal to sell most goods on a sunday,
(this law is mostly ignored), it is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also
legal to sell it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything
else one might want to buy on a sunday!
Utah:
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
Ohio:
In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and
usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Indiana:
Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking
a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
Kansas:
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
California:
In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters
to crow within the city limits.
Kentucky:
"No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state
unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with
a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute
shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding
200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
Oklahoma:
Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful
to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 30 Jan 91 12:31:14 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: More Irreproducible Results
Konrad Lorenz, the great animal behaviorist, was scrupulous about cultivating
fruitful confusion. Lorenz lived among his research subjects: dozens of
species of mammals, birds, reptiles, and fishes. He did not quantify, control,
or consciously experiment. He got to know each creature individually, then
threw them together, watching for the unexpected, the unusual, or the bizarre
in the chaos that followed. For example, his interest in one of ethology's
most important concepts, that of intention movements (motions with meaning,
such as the head bobbing in birds that serves as an alarm signal before
flight), derived from an inadvertent experiment. He had trained a free-flying
raven to eat raw meat from his hand and had been feeding the bird for several
hours one day. He would reach into his pants pocket and take out a piece of
meat, and the raven would swoop down to grab it in its bill. By an by, Lorenz
went to relieve himself near a hedge. When the raven saw him put his hand
into his pants and pull out another morsel of meat, it swooped down, hungrily
grasping the new mouthful in its bill. Lorenz howled in pain. But the event
left a deep impression on him -- about how faithfully animals respond to
intention movements, that is.
-- The Sciences, May/June, 1988, N.Y. Academy of Science.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 91 10:14:42 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: Our Brave Computer Languages in the Gulf
[This is not particularly funny, unusual, or stupid -- unless the
idea of weapons systems programmed in Ada strikes you as funny.
However, the follow-up to this in the next message needs this as a
set-up. --spaf]
>From: Thomas J. Croak - AF/SCXS - 59931 <croak@sc4.hq.af.mil>
Subject: A Real Ada War Story
Air Force Space Command has succeeded in an extremely fast turnaround on
critical Ada code in support of the war effort. This example shows how Ada
can support the concepts of flexability, maintainability, reuse, ease of
integration, and increased productivity.
The Theater Display Terminal (TDT) is a missle warning display system which
was designed and built in 1986 and in 1987 became AFSPACECOM's first
operational Ada system. It is a remote processor built to replace a
teletype machine with a state-of-the-art workstation using a graphical user
interface complete with windows, mouse control and pull down windows. TDT
runs on a Sun 3 with UNIX and Verdix Ada.
TDT is a *Strategic* device designed to give theater commanders a visual
indication of a large scale nuclear missile attack. The displays are based
on world maps which give gross indications of missile launch and direction.
The symbol indicating a missile launch would cover nearly five middle east
countries. Although the latitude/longitude of the launch site is included
in the information from the missile warning satellites, the operator must
consult a map in cases where the launch is from a small country.
11 Jan 91 - The theater operations personnel identified the need for a
*Tactical* missile warning capability to automatically derive the country
from which a tactical missile was launched.
12-13 Jan 91 - AFSPACECOM personnel copied an existing country-of-origin
algorithm and an extensive geo-political database from a new Cheyenne
Mountain missile warning system and installed it in the TDT code.
13 Jan 91 - Enhanced system was demonstrated with test data on the
development system.
14 Jan 91, 1300 - Enhanced system demonstrated to operations personnel on an
operational system.
14 Jan 91, 1900 - Category A test using live data from the sensor.
15 Jan 91 - Software flown to theater and installed immediately.
16 Jan 91 - New capability used operationally during Iraqi SCUD missile
attack on Israel.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 91 10:31:27 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: Our Brave Computer Languages in the Gulf
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU
From: tooch@mongoose.Eng.Sun.COM (Michael J. Tuciarone)
Two days to install a table lookup? Not bad. A search of the literature
reports the same change to the missile-tracking software took the
following time in other languages:
C 3 hours
C++ 3 days [1]
Bourne Shell 12 minutes [2]
Pascal 18 hours
Modula-2 * [3]
APL 7 minutes [4]
LISP 1.5 days
Prolog 1.5 days [5]
Basic 2 days
Forth 1 hour, 7 minutes [6]
1. Debugging new class definition required 80% of time.
2. Missile has usually landed before execution complete.
3. Still not implemented; broken shift key preventing work.
4. Fastest implementation time. Unfortunately, after integrating the
new code into the existing application, nobody can find it any more.
5. IS_MISSILE?(x) predicate still occasionally fails: insists object is
not a missile but a gerundive clause and is on top of the red cube.
6. Reports all missiles originate in Burkina Faso, regardless.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 13:51:51 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: SUN MICROSYSTEMS. TO SCRAP UNIX, REFINE OS/2
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU
SUN MICROSYSTEMS. TO SCRAP UNIX, REFINE OS/2
(Wall Street Journal, 4/1/91) [ <<-- Note! ]
Sun Microsystems, the biggest supplier of software for workstation
computers, is dropping Unix, a software program that four years ago it
declared would replace OS/2 as the system that controls the basic
operations of the system.
In its place, industry executives said, Sun plans to build its future
operating software around OS/2, a program that displays information in
pictures and menus instead of strings of characters. Since an updated
version was released last April, OS/2 has caught on like the measles,
and practically every important application has been or is being redone
to make use of OS/2's graphical features.
Sun said it will offer details tomorrow at a meeting at its offices in
Mountain View, CA. But in response to questions, Bill Joy, who runs the
company's system software division, said "there are elements of truth"
in the idea that Sun was swinging all its marketing efforts behind OS/2.
Mr. Joy declined to elaborate, but executives familiar with Sun's plans
said it will salvage much of its Unix code by incorporating it in future
OS/2 programs.
Effect on ATT
Sun's action further strains relations with it longtime ally, American
Telephone and Telegraph., the well-known Unix maker. ATT, based in
Paducah, K.Y., has been lukewarm in its support for OS/2, but has been
a major booster of Unix, even to the point of assuming a central role in
its design last September. Still Sun executives privately have hinted
for many months that the surging popularity of OS/2 meant the death-knell
for Unix, a technically impressive program that has never caught on with
customers.
John Cannabis, who heads ATT's desktop computer operations, conceded that
differences exist between Sun and ATT on the question of future operating
systems, but he said the partnership between the two companies isn't
threatened. Mr. Cannabis said ATT is commited to delivering fresh
version of Unix and added that "as we start attracting more customers
[to Unix], Sun will see [Unix] as an opportunity."
Others doubt that will happen. "Unix was a milestone for Sun," said
Ruthann Quindlen, who specializes in software deals for investment banker
Alex Brown. "Now they want to campaign on behalf of something else."
Unix a Stalking-Horse?
The way Sun markets its operation software has sparked controversy for
years. Some rivals complain the company uses its position to strengthen
its business in applications - word processing, spreadsheet and other
programs. Indeed, Sun, which years ago derived most of its revenue from
Unix-related products, now is a huge supplier of applications.
Others accuse Sun of having tricked its rivals into spending huge sums
to develop applications for Unix, while all along believing OS/2 would
become the standard for PC software. "I've been saying all along that
Sun's strategy is really OS/2," said Phillip Cohen, chief executive
officer of software maker Boreland International Inc., Scott City,
Kansas.
Sun repeatedly has insisted it hasn't deceived anyone about its plans,
but many in the industry think Sun never fully supported Unix, but agreed
to develop it as a concession to ATT. Now that OS/2 has caught on, Sun
wants OS/2 applications to work with any future replacement for SunOS.
Sun had been calling this future system "portable Unix." Now its know
internally as "NT Win 32," which refers to new code that enables OS/2 to
process 32 bits of data at once rather than 16 bits.
A version of Unix - to be released later this year by ATT - also has
32-bit power. But Unix is designed for computers built around chips made
by Octel Corp., Santa Claus, Calif., while Sun now promises that future
OS/2 systems will run on any computer hardware.
In building its future operating system, Sun isn't starting from scratch,
but will salvage a great deal of the code it has developed for Unix. So
extensive is Sun's reliance on Unix code that Fred Glibbon, chief
executive officer of Softwear Publishing Corp., in Mountain Dew, Calif.,
concludes, "Win32 is simply Unix by another name."
Not quite. A key part of Unix is Sun Windows, another software menu
system. Sun is scrapping Sun Windows in favor of its OS/2 menu in future
operating systems; that stings Lettuce Development Corp., Bainbridge,
Miss., and other Sun rivals who invested heavily in writing software for
Sun Windows. It also hurts ATT, which has told many of its largest
customers that the combination of Unix and Sun Windows is a big part of
its effort to neatly tie together PCs with its mainframe computers.
Indeed, at press time, ATT - concerned about a backlash from its own big
accounts - was lobbying Sun to speak in support of Sun Windows tomorrow,
one software executive said.
"Basically, Sun Windows is a dead-end for software developers," said Dick
Cherland, A Goldmen-Sucks analyst.
People in the industry say that Sun's strategy generally should benefit
PC owners, who will be assured that applications they buy today will work
on future combinations of hardware and software. "OS/2 has won a central
role in the [PCs] of the future," said Raul Greysen, chief executive of
Picogrfx Inc., an Austin, Texas, software company.
Nevertheless, Sun's decision to bind itself more tightly to OS/2 could
backfire if it pushes ATT into software supplier. ATT already has cut
a deal with a Sun rival to produce basic software for a new class of
computers without keyboards. And the last year, it struck a deal with
Meta-4 Computer Systems Inc. to jointly develop an entirely new approach
to operations software for PCs.
Mr. Cannabis, of ATT, said it was too soon to tell where Meta-4, based
in Valley View, fits into future plans, but the partnership may result
in an altenative operating system that doesn't have "the liabilities you
collected over the past 10 years" with SunOS and Unix.
Many industry executives think ATT's ties to Meta-4 and other software
developers give it leverage over Sun - leverage ATT needs if it is to
convince Sun that it should continue to support standards such as Sun
Windows, which is important to some large ATT customers. Others,
however, argue its's too late for ATT to set the standard for PC
software.
"Sun is now driving the industry, not ATT; the game is over," said Mr.
Glibbon, of Softwear Publishing. He added that Sun had won for the right
reasons, because it is "more of a champion of the customer, so they won
the game on fundamentals, not on Machiavellian techniques."
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 09:05:33 -0800
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: The Gulf War strikes
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU
From: Peter Collinson <pc@hillside.co.uk>
I was supposed to travel back to the UK from the Grand Dallas Usenix
Winter Beanfeast on last Tuesday. During the event I get a panic phone
call from the family saying `the travel agent rang, he noticed that
your flight has been postponed for a day'. Good phrase that, I must
remember it.
Basically, British Airways (800-AIRWAYS) are flying from different
airports in the south of the US on different days, in order to try to
make sure that the number of people sitting in passenger seats are
greater than the number of crew. They were not flying non-stop from
Dallas on Tuesday.
Would they be nice? Would they bump me to Club from my lowest of
the cheapest seat? Would I fly home non-stop on American from DFW to
London? No. No. No.
I could fly to Houston (the wrong direction - downhill and not up)
and then get a non-stop to home from there. I would fly to Houston on
Delta. My host for the weekend had to leave at noon - so I arrived in
the airport in good time. I was there at 11am - my Delta flight was
4.55pm.
I talked to BA. Got a new ticket. Checked my bag. Everything at DFW is
airside.. only passengers get facilities. I sat. I read. I walked up
and down. I slept. I ate. I drank. I avoided the smokers. I bought a
book I had read before because they had carefully printed it with a
different cover and it had yellow edges to the pages.
It got to be 3.30pm. Ominously, the electronic boards didn't show my
Delta flight. The flight popped up - but was leaving about half an
hour late. This still meant that there was possibly time to make the
connection. Still, I wonder if BA know about this. Find a phone, talk
to a nice BA girl who says she will pass the message on.
Meet three other people in the same situation. Suddenly, a lady on the
Delta desk pages BA passengers: `can we all go to the desk?' All the
others have wandered off clutching free Hot Dog vouchers. The Delta
plane is now too late and Delta is transferring us to Continental who
will be flying to Houston. I need a new ticket.
I move to the Central Information Desk. I start to be issued with a
bit of paper. One of the original group wanders up - suddenly we are a
couple joined together on this bit of paper. It's like having a Siamese
twin - where he goes I must go - where I go - there must go he. We are
told to get on a bus to another terminal. We walk miles back towards
the checkin desks. We cannot find a legal exit from airside to ground
side. We are unknowingly progressing to disaster.
We find a man in a red coat. `Leap on that bus there' he says. But
shuttle is not going where WE want to go. We walk back down the
terminal and end up at the BA desk. Another of the original party is
there. The guy behind the desk makes a quick decision - `OK.. you can
fly non-stop on the American flight but you'll have to be quick.' We
stand around while he rewrites bits of paper - my Siamese twin and I
remain joined. The BA guy tries to get bags, he gets one bag.... he
fails to find mine. It was starting a relentlessly useless trip from
DFW to Houston and back.
We all pile into this shuttle. We rush across the airport - slowly. We
run up to the security - slowly. American are nice but confused. We are
processed as quick as possible - slowly. We run through the airport
security - slowly. We arrive at the gate and find that we have not
been fast enough. One guy made it but the Captain has had enough and
has pulled away from the gate.
We stand disconsolately in a small group. We have fallen off the end
of the stack. What is the bit of paper that was my ticket now worth?
The American lady is nice. `It's down to BA' she says. `They'll cope.'
She rings BA.
They will pick up the lost sheep in four minutes. We all troop
outside. Time passes. We move back out of the cold into the doorway.
We stand very still, if you move the outside door senses it and opens
to let a cold blast of air in. Time passes. We move into the building
and sit down. Time passes. The nice American lady phones again.
Eventually, BA staff arrive.
They grovel.
We all feel like failed competitors in one of those Japanese Game
Shows.
One of us elects to fly to Frankfurt on Lufthansa and from there to
London. The rest decide to stay in a hotel and fly on BA the next day
- First Class.
So that's what happened.
I flew home in a new garish Dallas T-shirt - but wearing yesterday's
socks. There is nothing worse than yesterday's socks. I next saw my
bag in Gatwick as it tumbled round the carousel. It had been pretty
thoroughly searched - I hoped that they enjoyed the feel of all those
soiled garments.
Still, I shall now wear my clothes with pride. They have been to
Houston and I haven't.
------------------------------
Date: 1 Feb 91 05:42:46 GMT
From: opndick@ubvmsa.cc.buffalo.edu (Dick Piechowicz)
Subject: top ten facets of bush's state-of-the-union speech
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Top Ten Facets of Bush's State-of-the-union Speech
10) Kept profanity to a minimum
9) Cue card girls were outfitted by Frederick's (sp) of Hollywood
8) Snuck the phrase 'penis breadth' by the censors
7) Dan Quayle stayed awake for almost half of the speech
6) Excellent use of hand puppets to enhance critical points
5) Clever way of using the name of Mother Theresa and Saddam
Hussein in the same sentence
4) Advancing age has not dulled Bush's eloquent speaking voice
3) Provided two more clues to Pepsi's 'Crack the Code' contest
2) Maintained composure while an obviously intoxicated Barbara Bush
was dragged from the room
..and the Number One Facet of Bush's s-o-t-u speech
1) President's speech did not pre-empt 30 year-old B-grade movie
showing on cable super-station TBS.
------------------------------
Subject: The Demon Seed, Revisited
>From: djohnson@beowulf.ucsd.edu (Darin Johnson)
>Newsgroups: alt.sources,comp.misc,alt.folklore.computers
>Date: 29 Jan 91 21:36:37 GMT
In article <1991Jan29.193720.12383@cs.utk.edu> de5@ornl.gov writes:
>Public Domain Acronym/Abbreviation Database
>
>AI - Artificial Intelligence
This was a cause of confusion with a discussion of AI with my Aunt
a few years ago. I'm in Computer Science, and she is a nurse and
does veterinary work. After becoming confused, we discovered I was
talking about Artificial Intelligence, and she was talking about
Artificial Insemination...
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------