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HOW LONG IS YOUR TIE?
In article <1153@twilight.osc.edu> raja@osc.edu (Raja Daoud) writes:
> In article <1112@bcs800.UUCP> chrise@bcs800.UUCP (Christopher England) writes:
>
>> Due to a recent disagreement at my office, I was wondering what the
>> general consensus was regarding tie length.
>
> Well in the book "Clothes and the Man" by Alan Flusser, (page 85):
> "After being tied, the tips of the necktie should be long enough to reach
> the waistband of the trousers."
This really depends on the tie. A bowtie would look really strange
if it reached the waistband of the trousers. Also, if you are wearing
a kilt and not trousers, it can get confusing.
Here are my rules about ties:
1. Bowties. The lights on the ties must be either green or red or
a combination thereof. The red must be on the left if you have
both colors. If there are two colors, they must not flash at the
same time. If both are one color, they should flash at the same
time.
2. Remove your mylar tie before going into the computer room. This
is especially true if you are going to remove a circuit board.
Contact between a mylar tie and a live board will cause a static
discharge.
3. Ties made of meat are right out. No, sausages are not acceptable
either.
4. Flamingo ties must be pink and be long enough such that the entire
bird is visible.
5. Leather ties are very fetching, especially at marketing planning
sessions. Don't wear red leather ties, because the other guys
will think you are a sissy. Black leather with studs is OK if you
work at Harley Davidson or another motorcycle manufacturer. Soft
brown leather is best.
6. If you work at a shop where the other guys pressure you into not
wearing a tie and threaten the ritual castration gesture of cutting
your tie off, get a chain mail tie. A wood tie is OK, but make sure
its hardwood and not softwood, which can dissolve in your soup.
7. Only lawyers wear yellow silk ties with little white dots on them.
If you wear them, people will aim firearms at you.
8. Only investment bankers and money nerds wear red ties with little
white dots on them. If you wear them, psychologists will make
pointed statements about phallic imagery and feelings of male
inadequacy.
9. You can't go wrong with navy blue, especially when it has a hula
girl handpainted on it.
10. Don't blow your nose in your tie at art auctions or you might
suddenly owe Sotheby's 42 million dollars for Vincent Van Gogh's
shopping list.
ER
--
E. Richards {uunet|pyramid|sun}!acad!booter
"I don't THINK so...."