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I've had days like these...

------- Forwarded Message

Date:    Sat, 03 Nov 90 14:58:15 -0800 
From:    cate3.osbu_north@xerox.com

The next few are from Ben Wick's _Book_of_Losers:

When Lorenzo Castelli was struck and killed by a train, the Italian
railroad sued him for delaying rail schedules for 29 minutes.

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Bandits trying to break into an office for a payroll robbery even went so
far as to fire a submachine-gun burst at the lock, but still didn't manage
to get inside.  Finally, they gave up and fled.  Police said they had
been pulling at the door instead of pushing.

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A man runs off to a nearby city in search of his wife.  After a day's
long search he returns to his room and requests a call girl.
Imagine his surprise when he sees his wife!

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A woman was so depressed and angry after her husband abandoned her.  She
jumped out of her window.  She landed on her husband.  Her husband died,
she survived.

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A lady golfer competing in the 1912 Shawnee Invitational for Ladies at Shawnee-
on-Delaware took a glorious wack at the ball and watched as it sailed
majestically into the Binniekill river.  But luck was on her side.  The ball
remained floating, making it possible for the energetic golfer to leap into a
boat and set off in hot pursuit.  Each time she was within range of the ball
our heroine would give an almighty swipe.  She eventually connected and sent
the
ball up onto a small beach, 1.5 miles from where she had started.  After
leaping out of the bat she bagan to tackle the next hurdle - a forest lying
between her ball and the hole.  She finally made it in a magnificent 166
strokes for the 130-yard, par 3, 16th hole.

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A French motorist's Citroen stalled on a railroad crossing.  Unable to move
the car, he fled.  A freight train hit the automobile, derailed, tore up 300
feet of track, and spilled twenty box cars loaded with beer into an adjacent
river.  Three cranes had to be rented to remove the remains of the freight
train.  Rail service was disrupted for six weeks.  The beer killed all the
fish in the river and put local fishermen out of work for the season.  And
the locomotive engineer sued for two cracked ribs.  The total claim against
the motorist's insurance company exceeded seven million dollars.

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