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Ah, winter.

------- Forwarded Message

From: Phil Hochstetler <sequent!phil@uunet.uu.net>
Date: Tue, 6 Nov 90 21:15:44 PST
Subject: Winter Health Alert!

		Watch out or you'll freeze your ... off

     Today we are interrupting this usual pointless drivel that fills this
column with an Important, repeat, Important Health Alert!

     This is for all you joggers, runners, and skiers out there, you
vigorous folks who are seriously dedicated to good health and who
appreciate the vital importance of a sound exercise regimen, who are
so disciplined, so motivated, so -- how can I put this?  -- so
obsessed to the point of absurdity that you never give it a rest, for
any reason.  Yes, you folks whom I saw clomping down the road even in
the middle of that bitter cold spell in December.  I mean, were you
afraid that if you knocked off for just one day, your muscles would
fall off, or what?

     Anyway, I want to talk to the men in this category, since it is you
who are "at risk" of the particular medical syndrome I have just read
about.

     This was a report on a study recently published in the British
Medical Journal, and it is pretty sobering -- nay, chilling -- news about
what can happen to men who choose to dash about outdoors when the frost is
on the pumpkin.

     The Journal carried the report of two British medical officers of the
45th Commando Group of the Royal Marines, who where stationed at a base way
up in northern Norway last winter.  As you might imagine, it gets pretty
cold up there, but several young soldiers chose to go out running and
skiing anyway.

     And as a result, seven of these soldiers came down with a case of
what, according to these physicians, is known as "Arctic Willy."

     Right, "Arctic Willy" sounds like a character in a Robert W. Service
poem of the Yukon, but it is not.  It is a case of frostbite.

     It is not, however, frostbite of the fingers, or toes, or nose, as
usually happens, but of an entirely different extremity, if you get my
drift.  If you don't, suffice to say that "Arctic Willy" is not a syndrome
women have to worry about.

     According to the article, "All of the men wore relatively
tight-fitting pants that allowed wind to blow through them."  I know all
you hip young dudes think wearing tight pants is cool, but apparently
"cool" is far too mild a description in this case.  I mean, talk about your
wind-chill factor.

     Another thing:  The article noted that six of the seven victims were
uncircumcised, suggesting that those fellows are at greater risk.  Don't
ask me why.  I don't even want to think about it, and I trust you don't
either.

     The article further notes that normal treatment for frostbitten
extremities is immersion in a bowl of warm water, but the physicians
concede that "this would clearly be impracticable in these circumstances."
They recommended a hot shower or sauna as an alternative.  And for future
prevention, they said, make sure you're wearing loose-fitting, windproof
trousers.

     Well, this is certainly enough to keep me indoors whenever the frigid
winds blow.  I've got nothing against exercise, but some things are more
precious than muscle tone.  Besides, I'd always heard that if you stayed out
in the cold too long, you could freeze your something-else off.  Even
though I have probably acquired enough fat over the years to put that fear
behind me.

     And for you guys who just can't break away from your running regimen,
even when the thermometer plunges, one more word of advice:  If "Arctic
Willy" strikes you, please forget that old wives' tale about rubbing the
afflicted area with snow.  First, it won't help, and second, it might get
you arrested.
				---

Dairy Press		Williamsburg, VA		1989

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