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Yucks Digest V1 #95



Yucks Digest                Mon, 28 Oct 91       Volume 1 : Issue  95 

Today's Topics:
 And you thought that it was unethical to patent a look and feel ...
                              anon wire
                           Bif! Bop! Kapow!
                       Bushes Enjoy Top Movies
                            forever yours
                        Friday's Ramblings VII
                        Goat Condoms to Come?
                     Goatee does an about-face   
     Lies, damn lies, and statistics (was: testimony before ...)
                        No, say it ain't so...
             Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men
             Unspeakable prank costs Harrison England job
          William Gates' Gift Spurs Shift By Star Biologist

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 26 Oct 91 18:13:37 -0700
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: And you thought that it was unethical to patent a look and feel ...
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU

From: hubbard (Bruce D. Hubbard)
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 91 19:11:32 PDT

To set the background for this - Congress has been sold on a 15-year, 
$3-billion project to map and sequence the entire human genome.  The
problem, of course, is that only about 3% of the 3,000,000,000 base 
pairs in our genome are what one might call a real gene; the rest is 
(currently believed to be) junk of various sorts.  Starting with DNA,
all of it, it will be slow and painstaking work to separate the wheat 
from the chaff, but much will be learned along the way.

There is another, cheaper, approach, and that is to decide that one is 
not immediately interested in all that 97% of the DNA that appears to be 
junk.  If one takes this approach, one then looks instead at the RNA's 
that are transcribed from the DNA to see what parts of it are actually 
active genes.  The technique is to:
1) Isolate all of the messenger RNA from a cell
2) Convert it back to DNA (cDNA) using viral reverse transcriptase
3) Clone and amplify it (using the polymerase chain reaction)
4) Sequence the clones, which will be pure genes.

So far, there has been a sort of less than gentlemanly debate between 
those that want to hurt themselves by sequencing all DNA, good and bad, 
and those who are accused of trying to strip mine the cream off of the 
top by sequencing only cDNA.

Enter a DNA researcher named Craig Venter.  He has set up a laboratory 
of DNA sequencing robots and is cranking out cDNA gene sequences.  So far
he has no idea what any of them are or do, he simply culls out the new
gene sequences, based upon his not finding them in existing gene sequence 
databases.  This might just be regarded as bad manners, had he not filed 
a wholesale patent application on the first 337 of them, with 2000 more in 
the works.  (Over the course of the last 10 years, only about 600 human
genes have been sequenced in the traditional way, and only a handful of 
these have been patented, at great effort and expense.)  The biology world 
is in an uproar!

It has long been regarded as perfectly ok, even desirable, to be able to 
patent a cloned gene.  One isolates and purifies it, determines what it 
does, and figures out how to make a useful drug/test/etc. from it.  The 
problem is that Craig is doing the equivalent of the following:  he has
discovered a smashed alien spaceship, sitting amidst a mountain of circuit
components.  Rather than try to reassemble and study some part of it, he 
has put an army of robots to work at systematically disassembling and 
diagraming all of its circuits.  As each circuit diagram rolls off of the 
printer, if it looks unlike anything else on Earth, he submits it in a patent 
application.  He will figure out what it does later, maybe.

Patent law considers three criteria: it must be novel, nonobvious, and 
have utility.  It does not consider how hard you had to work to invent it.
It is thus expected that if he fails, then it will be on the utility test.
Not knowing what each new gene sequence is, or what it is related to,
makes it hard to claim any utility for it.  (This approach - the shotgun 
construction of many chemical variants - has been tried in the past by 
chemists without success.)

But just in case, maybe you should contact your lawyer before you try to
do anything useful with any of your genes - like lift a finger - just in
case it has already been patented.  If it hasn't, then I would turn it to
pushing a key on you computer - the one that spits out random number 
sequences with a patent application filled in at the top of the page.  
Who knows - maybe one will predict when the Turing machine will stop.

[Hmm, I hope I'm not a Gene that has already been patented, or I'm
in real trouble!     --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 27 Oct 91 23:26:40 PST
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Prof: Criminology Work A Crime
To: yucks

   TAMPA, Fla. (AP)
   Two criminology majors turned in term papers that a professor said
weren't just awful, they were a crime.
   After flunking the students, William Blount, chairman of the
University of South Florida Criminology Department, did some
sleuthing that led to the filing of a second-degree misdemeanor
charge against the man accused of being the real author.
   A. Engler Anderson, 31, failed to appear last week for a court
hearing on the charge of selling a term paper or dissertation and
could be held without bond if caught.
   While the students were bounced out of their major, and one was
kicked out of school, the only way that Anderson could be held
accountable was through the courts.
   "The state attorney's office wanted to prosecute. They were very
diligent," Blount said. A prosecutor recommended that if convicted,
Anderson should donate $500 to the Criminology Department.
   Blount said the papers in late 1989 were for his course on
"victimless crime"  which covers prostitution, gambling and the like.
When he asked the students to correct the papers, one did nothing but
change the margins. The other gave bizarre answers.
   "It was pretty apparent they weren't handing in their own work,"
he said.
   Blount said students told him Anderson charged between $125 and
$500, depending on the length of the paper.
   Anderson's writing career has included stints at several
newspapers, including the university's student newspaper, The Oracle,
and the St. Petersburg Times where he worked as a news correspondent
in a suburban Tampa bureau, the Times said in Saturday editions.
   He is now believed to be living near Palm Beach, according to the
report.

[There is only one thing dumber than cheating -- that is turning in
falsified or plagiarized bad work.    --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1991 9:52:14 +0800 (SST)
From: A_DENCH@FENNEL.CC.UWA.OZ.AU
Subject: Bif! Bop! Kapow!
To: Linguist List, Vol-2-698

I'm looking for a linguistic term for that class of words which
regularly appear in the vivid colours when Batman or whoever
indulges in a little gratuitous violence.
No this is a serious request. I am editing a series of texts in
the (alas somewhat moribund) Nyungar language of southwest Australia
and come across a variety of such terms. Appart from general flavour
they do a good job of partitioning a narrative. One such text, about
the first culture hero to discover women, includes at least the
following:

dung! (the sound of hero's suddenly erect penis hitting his chest)
dangkarl-dangkarl (the "snarling" sound his penis makes as he chases
                   the women)
derrku-derrku (the scraping noise as the women push into a cave
               to escape)
binj-binj-binj (the ringing noise his penis makes as it bounces off
                the rocks at cave's entrance)

Thankyou Mark Ellison for suggesting the term "ejaculative", but I'm
not sure it's entirely appropriate. I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Please don't send me examples of similar words in other languages, or
your Freudian analysis of the text.

Alan Dench
Department of Anthropology
University of Western Australia
Nedlands WA 6009

[Undoubtedly, some Yucks readers can contribute to this research.  
But..."bounces off the rocks"...?  Ouch!   --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 27 Oct 91 12:00:00
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Bushes Enjoy Top Movies
To: yucks-request

   WASHINGTON (AP)
   When President Bush and his wife Barbara settle in for a movie at
their mountainside retreat this weekend, they'll have a chance like
other movie fans to critique the new films "Curly Sue" and "The
Butcher's Wife."
   But unlike most moviegoers, the Bushes don't have to stand in a
ticket line. They have their own viewing room at Camp David, the
rural Maryland presidential hideaway.
   When he left the White House on Friday, Bush took his customary
supply of videos and reel-to-reel copies of Hollywood's latest
offerings with him on the helicopter.
   This weekend's lineup for the Bushes' homeviewing includes the
sentimental country family story, "Man in the Moon," along with two
films that opened to general audiences on Friday: "Curly Sue," a John
Hughes romp about a precocious girl and her guardian played by Jim
Belushi, and "The Butcher's Wife," about a clairvoyant in New York,
played by Demi Moore.
   Bush already has seen "The Butcher's Wife" once and he "liked it a
lot" said press aide Sean Walsh.
   Last weekend's offerings included the just-released Danny DeVito
comedy "Other People's Money." Bush also saw Jodie Foster's new
movie, "Little Man Tate."
   Bush's taste in movies tend toward those with strong plots and
westerns, his aides say.
   "He doesn't like excessive profanity or violence," said Walsh. "He
likes stories."
   One of Bush's favorite recent movies was "Dances With Wolves"
directed by and starring Bush's friend Kevin Costner.
   He also likes the fast action movies starring another pal, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, who heads the president's commission on fitness. He
enjoyed the muscleman's latest, "Terminator Two," said Walsh.
   While the Bushes sometimes have friends over to watch movies in
the basement theater of the White House, they do most of their movie
viewing during weekends at Camp David.
   The Bushes screen the films in the living room of their Camp David
cabin on a large movie screen stretching nearly across one wall.
   Mrs. Bush often joins her grandchildren to watch films on a VCR
from Camp David's supply of Disney classics and other children's
videos, Walsh said.
   The new jumbo jet Air Force One also keeps a full supply of movies
for the viewing pleasure of the president, his staff, Secret Service
agents and reporters, with a screen in each cabin.
   The selection ranges from horror films and action thrillers to
Academy Award nominees such as "Driving Miss Daisy" and "Awakenings."
   Film sex is no stranger to Air Force One, and the steamy Al Pacino
suspense movie "Sea of Love" was a big hit this past year in the back
cabins.
   There is also no shortage of psychopaths and gore, with such films
as "Misery" and "Blue Steel."
   Other recent selections on the aircraft have included the horror
film "Child's Play," along with "Russia House," "Memphis Belle," "Die
Hard Two," "Hunt for Red October," "I Come in Peace," and "Edward
Scissorhands."

[Okay, what movies is George missing out on?  Obviously, he didn't
invite some of the Senators up to screen "9-to-5" some weekend.
The civil rights legislation situation was obviously influenced by the
screening of "Miss Daisy", health care by "Awakenings", and
Dan Quayle by "Abbott and Costello meet the Democrats."  :-)

I think a weekend of "Repo Man", "Eraserhead", "Killer Clowns from
Outer Space", "Frankenhooker" and the like might result in some
interesting changes in policy.  Screenings of the "Toxic Avenger"
series alone might revive the moribund EPA.  Other suggestions?
--spaf]

------------------------------

Date: 28 Oct 91 11:30:04 GMT
From: ECZ5SEE@mvs.oac.ucla.edu (naomi seeger)
Subject: forever yours
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

this is from the journal "medical aspects of human sexuality", august
1991 issue.

under the heading "Office Anecdote" comes the following:

  While trying to track down the cause of a recurrent vaginitis in a
young woman, I asked her whether her partner was circumcised.  My
query drew only a blank look. I rephrased the question in what i felt
was a clever and tactful manner: "When he doesn't have an erection, can
you see the head of his penis, or is it covered by folds of skin?"
  Her unabashed and matter-of-fact response: "I've never seen him
without an erection."  I felt rather "obsolete" the rest of the day.

--Andrew Johnstone, MD, RPh, Indy South Family Physicians, Indianapolis.

------------------------------

Date: Fri Oct 25 09:24:15 PDT 1991
From: t-robtp@microsoft.COM
Subject: Friday's Ramblings VII
To: 0003539738@mcimail.com, QUA@cornella.cit.cornell.edu,

[An original by Mr Dan Morrow of Microsoft]

This week's theme, maybe, is going to be "words".  That is, unless
the theme changes or wanders off somewhere during the message.  But
"words" sounds like a refreshing theme.  In fact, "refreshing" has
become one of my most heavily-employed words lately, because I find
it so, well, refreshing.

"Man, he really made a bunch of us mad!"  "Yeah, if we ever get off 
this vine, we'll get revenge for sure!"  "I have such a sour attitude
because of this; I'm just fermenting!!"  -The Grapes of Wrath

How about the word "egregious"?  Anyone want to guess at the meaning?
Contestants, lock in your vote...now.  Sorry, you're all wrong anyway.
It means, "outstanding for undesirable qualities; remarkably bad;
flagrant - [an 'egregious' error]".  Mr. Chicken-Soup-Launcher is
always saying that, I thought it was high time I looked it up to
see what he was talking about.

Now, Jethro Tull says "Let's Bungle in the Jungle".  What the hell
does that mean?  Do they really mean "Let's Do or Make Things Badly
or Clumsily in the Jungle"?  "Let us go out in the Rain Forests and
Commit an Act of Spoiling by Clumsy Work or Action; Botch"?  I find
this to be a rather refreshing interpretation of the lyrics, I do.

Other words that have been occupying large (relative to what?) sectors
of my brain are "486" and "33 MegaHertz" and "Second-Day Air".  Which
leads to the inevitable conclusion that "MegaHertz" is what rental
car companies hope to become when they get like really big.  (rimshot)
Take my wife, please.  (just kidding, dear!)

And so as the Weekend of Refreshingly Bungled Egregious Moving looms
large on the event horizon, let me just point out that you should
read carefully the German instructions on your Salad Shooter before
attempting to use it nude:  "Keepen zie Genitalhaus fom der Hacken-
Strasse."  (translation:  "Keep your Private Parts away from the
Spinning Blades")

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 27 Oct 91 12:00:00
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Goat Condoms to Come?
To: yucks-request

     Goat Birth Control Said Risky
   PORT ANGELES, Wash. (AP)
   Tracking elusive mountain goats and injecting them with a
contraceptive is even harder than it sounds, say scientists
researching that option for wiping out a pesky herd in Olympic
National Park.
   "It's about the roughest terrain I've ever seen," David Jessup of
the California Department of Fish and Game said last week.
   "Contraception in wildlife is an easy task," Jay Kirkpatrick of
Eastern Montana College said. "Delivering the contraceptive is the
issue: How do you get it to the animal?"
   Jessup and Kirkpatrick were among five scientists brought in to
study whether contraception could be used to evict the 400 unwanted
goats from the rugged, rain-swept mountains. The team's work,
completed last Thursday, is for an environmental impact statement.
   Park officials say the goats  not native to the area  are damaging
the mountains' fragile ecosystem. They trample rare plants and dig
out hillsides to take dust baths.
   Hunters introduced 12 goats to the park in 1920. By the early
1980s the herd had grown to 1,200. Harsh winters in the 1980s killed
many off. Others were sterilized by park personnel.
   A trapping program moved more than 400 goats to the Cascade
Mountains, where they are indigenous. That was abandoned last year
because the helicopter flights were so perilous.
   The National Park Service has quietly advocated shooting the
remaining goats. But officials stress they won't decide on the
eradication method until a management plan and environmental impact
statement are in next spring.
   "I'd say the options are pretty limited," said Cat Hoffman,
assistant to the park superintendent.
   The birth control solution requires chasing the animals with a
helicopter and shooting them with a drugged dart. The most effective
formula must be administered twice the first year and annually after
that, Kirkpatrick said.
   Finding all the goats, dosing and keeping track of them can be
dangerous. The helicopters would have to fly next to the jagged
cliffs the goats favor, the experts said.
   Animal rights activists urge at least an experimental
birth-control program and say reported damage from the goats is
exaggerated.
   "Eating a plant should not be a capital offense," said Wayne
Pacelle, national director of the Fund for Animals in Silver Spring,
Md.

[Maybe the animal rights people should be the ones trying to dose the
goats.   Think of it as evolution in action.  :-)   --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 24 Oct 91 11:48:01 PDT
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Goatee does an about-face   
To: yucks-request

[From goats to goatees.....]

    By Jamie Reno Copley News Service   

     In the clean-cut 1980s, the goatee took it on the chin.
     The thin, pointy beard, the facial hair of choice for many
artistes and rebels, was not exactly embraced in the decade of
button-down shirts and power ties.
     But these are the kinder, gentler 1990s. And like an aging
beatnik friend who shows up on your doorstep after disappearing for
years, the goatee is back on faces all over the place.
     Michael Stich, the 23-year-old German tennis player and this
year's Wimbledon champion, has one. So does Irish actor-director
Kenneth Branagh. Even actor-comedian Paul Reubens, aka Pee-wee
Herman, sported one in his now-mythic police mug shot.
     Other notables who've been spotted recently with goatees include
singer Bruce Springsteen and actor Bruce Willis.
     Spy Magazine, the New York monthly, calls the goatee's return
one of the most annoying trends of 1991. But many people seem happy
that it's back.
     "I think goatees are cool. They're offbeat, artsy,
off-the-wall," said a hairstylist at an avant-garde salon. "Goatees
go against the grain, and that's better than looking and acting like
everyone else."
     She said she sometimes gets requests to cut them, but, she said,
"most guys do it themselves with a razor at home, and it usually
looks fine."
     Gil, a college freshman, has had a goatee for about a year. He
said he grew one because he thinks it makes him look like a rebel.
     "Goatees make you look like a hood, and that's the look a lot of
young guys are after," he said. "You know, it's the earring, long
hair, leather jacket, motorcycle thing. A lot of young people
nowadays want to look like rebels, even if they're just ordinary,
average guys with boring office jobs."
     The goatee, which got its name because it looks so much like a
goat's beard, has been in and out of fashion for centuries. Civil War
officers wore them. Vladimir Lenin, the Soviet revolutionary, had
one. So did civil rights leader Malcolm X.
     And who could forget the neatly cropped white goatee of the late
Harlen Sanders, better known as Col. Sanders, the founder of Kentucky
Fried Chicken.  Or those of the bohemians of the 1950s who were,
according to beat writer Jack Kerouac, "mad to live, mad to talk, mad
to be saved."
     "Goatees are definitely retro-beatnik," observed Marcus, who
just recently shaved his. A salesclerk at an eclectic clothing store,
he said he sees at least one person a day at his store with a goatee.
"I see them all the time, especially on surfers and skateboarders."
     He said he doesn't know how long this trend will last.
     "I'm just glad to see that people are out there looking the way
they want to look, not the way they think they're supposed to look.
Goatees are about individuality and freedom of expression. They're
great."
     But goatees are not for everyone.
     "I'd never date a guy with a goatee," said Joy, a computer
programmer. "They make guys look dirty, sort of sleazy. I don't like
facial hair at all, really, but if you're going to grow a beard, grow
a full one. They look better."

[Goatees are for men too timid to grow a full beard.   --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: 25 Oct 91 18:59:55 GMT
From: smith@canon.co.uk (Mark Smith)
Subject: Lies, damn lies, and statistics (was: testimony before ...)
Newsgroups: talk.politics.guns,alt.flame

sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Terminator) tells it like it is:
> [...] edb134t@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Daniel Bowen) writes:
>> And while I'm typing in figures, from the same article, here's
>> handgun murders in 1988 (the number, not proportional to population):
>> Australia:          13
>> Great Britain:       7
>> Canada:              8
>> Israel:             25
>> and finally, the good
>> ol' US of A:      8915
>
> How many of your so-called "murders" were justifiable shootings,
> say a police officer shooting a PCP crazed psycho holding a knife
> to a little girl's throat, or a rapist who was caught by a husband,
> in the act?

According to statistics tied to a brick and thrown through the windshield
of comrade Dan Rather's foreign-built company car by the grass-roots group
Concerned Citizens Armed To The Teeth For A Safer America, the numbers
break down like this:

  police officer shooting a PCP crazed psycho holding a knife
  to a little girl's throat:                                         5362

  rapist who was caught by a husband in the act:                     3350

  elderly infirm person summoning last reserves of energy
  to squeeze trigger before being clubbed by 300 pound
  psychiatric outpatient with autographed Louisville Slugger:         153

  adorable seven-year-old Pippi Longstocking look-alike
  preventing monstrously unpleasant act of depravity by
  cucumber-and-mayonnaise-wielding dope fiend:                         19

  otherwise helpless nun accidentally interrupting ritual by
  devil worshippers preparing to sacrifice infant kidnapped
  from Operation Rescue Home For Promiscuous Minority Women:           11

  McDonald's Drive-Thru attendant preventing distraught loser
  of local monster truck contest from ramming customised 1974
  Chevrolet pickup into crowded Mayor McCheese swing set:               9

  paraplegic victim of tragic diving accident suddenly able
  to use hands for first time in seven years while defending
  cub scout troupe from grossly over-endowed child molester:            3

  patrol dog at secret nuclear installation using specially
  modified police firearm to stop paranoid schizophrenic
  with plastic explosives from acting on delusion that he
  is Boris from Rocky and Bullwinkle show:                              1

  total:                                                             8908

We can clearly see from the above that when justifiable shootings are 
taken into account, handgun murder rates are actually lower in the USA 
than in that socialist paradise to the north.  Of course, you'll never 
see this in the so-called "free press", not while it's controlled by
that cabal of junkie homosexual leftist cattle mutilators, anyway.

[ Mark Smith  Canon Research Europe -- smith@canon.co.uk  ..ukc!canon!smith ]

 next week: nuclear weapons stockpile in kennedy compound revealed

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 24 Oct 91 16:53:23 -0700
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: No, say it ain't so...
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU

>From the San Jose Mercury News' October 22nd under the
"Oedipal-but-hardly-palatable" category:

"Wesson oil spokeswoman Florence Henderson revealed that when she was
playing mom Carol Brady on the ever-popular 'The Brady Bunch,' she dated
Barry Williams, the very young actor who played Greg, her eldest son on
the series.  Williams' older brother served as chauffeur while TV mom and
son took in a show."

------------------------------

Date: 23 Oct 91 19:11:59 GMT
From: ss1@kepler.unh.edu (Samuel Stoddard)
Subject: Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men
Newsgroups: rec.pets.dogs,rec.humor

Here we go: The Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men

10.  More sophisticated fashion sense.
 9.  Love to dance.
 8.  Willing to sleep on rug and fetch on command.
 7.  Spend less time worrying about hair loss.
 6.  Old buddies don't show up on doorstep unexpectedly.
 5.  Utterly disinterested in professional sports.
 4.  Your parents find them easier to like.
 3.  Rarely jealous of your former boyfriends.
 2.  Willing to hold your purse in public.
 1.  Unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following
     intense play.

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 27 Oct 91 12:00:00
From: one of our correspondents
Subject: Unspeakable prank costs Harrison England job
To: yucks-request

   LONDON, Oct 27 (AFP) - Steve Harrison's much publicised prank,
which has already cost him his coaching job at Millwall, on Sunday
lost him his England post as well.
   Glenn Kirton, a Football Association spokesman, said in a
statement: "Over the weekend Steve Harrison has considered his
position as coach to the England squad and has offered his
resignation.
   "Graham Taylor, on behalf of the Football Association, has
accepted it."
   England manager Taylor, who had 38-year-old Harrison on his staff
at Watford and Aston Villa before bringing him into the England team,
has been left with little alternative but to let him go after intense
publicity over Harrison's dismissal by Millwall.
   Millwall chairman Reg Burr took action following an incident at
the hotel where their players were staying before a league match last
Saturday.
   No details have been given even by the tabloid press, but Burr
said it was disgusting.
   Members of the FA's International Committee are almost certain to
have been uneasy about the situation, worrying about the image of the
England squad.
   Harrison has since joined the Crystal Palace coaching staff, but
Burr, who says he was "revolted" by Harrison's behaviour, was
unrepentant after hearing Sunday's decision.
   Burr said: "It is irrelevent really to our decision because we did
not need any backing for it. I would only say that he should perhaps
have resigned from England a bit earlier so that everybody could be
spared all the publicity last week."
   Popular opinion was that Taylor would stay loyal to Harrison and
try to retain the services of a man he believed brought a vital touch
of humour to the serious business of England international football.

[This sounds fascinating.  Anyone know what Harrison's prank *was*?
Surely it was printed in one of Rupert's papers?    --spaf]

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 26 Oct 91 18:15:06 -0700
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: William Gates' Gift Spurs Shift By Star Biologist
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU

William Gates' Gift Spurs Shift By Star Biologist
Wall Street Journal, October 1991
Jerry E. Bishop
Staff Reporter of the Wall Street journal

Microsoft Corp.'s billionaire chief executive officer, William Gates
III, bankrolled a major coup by the University of Washington in the
world of academic scientists.

The university's medical school announced it had received a $12
million personal gift from Mr. Gates that allowed the school to lure a
star molecular biologist, Leroy Hood, away from California Institute
of Technology.

The Caltech biologist will move to Seattle from Pasadena, Calif., next
summer to set up a new molecular biotechnology department in which
molecular biologists will work closely with mathematicians, physicists
and computer scientists.  The medical school in Seattle is just a
stone's throw from Microsoft's headquarters in suburban Redmond, Wash.

Mr. Gates has previously shown interest in biotechnology.  He holds
a 10% interest in a small Seattle-based company, Icos Corp. The
company was organized last year and financed by several hundred
venture capitalists and corporate executives to explore new ways of
controlling the problem of inflammation that characterizes many
diseases, such as arthritis.

The 52-year old Dr. Hood is a leading researcher on the molecular
makeup of proteins and of the genes that are the blueprints for
proteins.  He and his colleagues at Caltech are best-known for
developing machines to determine automatically the sequence of
molecules in proteins and genes.  Dr. Hood and the machines he is
developing are playing key roles in the Human Genome Initiative, a
federally funded effort to identify all human genes and to determine
the sequence of the three billion molecules that constitute human DNA,
the chemical of which genes are made.

The 35-year-old Mr. Gates, an expert in computer programming and a
co-founder of Microsoft, said ``The whole area [of molecular biology]
fascinates me.  After computers, it's the most interesting, most
impactful area in research today.'' Both he and Dr. Hood noted that
molecular biology research such as the human genome project is going
to need new ``computational tools'' to make sense of all the new
information being uncovered.

The $12 million gift, which the university said was the largest single
gift it has ever received, was of interest to ``Gates watchers'' who
have been wondering when where and how the young billionaire would
continue his family's tradition of philanthropy.

Dr. Hood's decision to leave Caltech and move to the university of
Washington in Seattle is a major bit of news in academic circles.
``We've been trying to interest Lee in coming to Washington for some
time, and Mr. Gates finally made it possible,'' said Phillip J.
Fialkow, dean of the University of Washington medical school.

Less than a year ago, Dr. Hood was being ardently courted by the
University of California, Berkeley, to head the Department of Energy's
Human Genome Center at the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory.  Earlier
this year, however the biologist yielded to last-minute entreaties
from Caltech and decided to stay at the Pasadena institution.

At Caltech, Dr. Hood founded and heads the Science and Technology
Center, which has a budget of $3.5 million a year.  The future of the
``is under active review,'' a Caltech spokesman said.  ``Lee Hood has
been a visionary leader in biology at Caltech and we shall miss his
many contributions,'' Caltech President Thomas E. Everhart said in a
statement.

Dr. Hood has been a Caltech faculty member since 1970.  The scientist
did his undergraduate work at Caltech, then obtained a medical degree
at Johns Hopkins Medical School in 1964 before returning to Caltech to
get his doctorate in biology in 1968.

Dr. Hood said he decided to move to the University of Washington
because not only will he be able to set up his own department, but the
university is giving him the opportunity ``to bring along my very best
people.''  He said he hopes to persuade at least 15 to 20 of the 40
scientists working with him at Caltech to move to Seattle.  He also
noted that at Washington he will be able to work will well-known
researchers in immunology, genetic diseases and autoimmune diseases,
medical areas that dovetail with his research in molecular
biotechnology.   Caltech doesn't have a medical school.

[Somehow appropriate that money from MS-DOS sales is being used to
fund research in genetic defects and auto-immune diseases, eh?  Maybe
Mr. Gates has a sense of humor after all....      --spaf]

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End of Yucks Digest
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