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Yucks Digest V1 #88
Yucks Digest Sun, 29 Sep 91 Volume 1 : Issue 88
Today's Topics:
A car dealer with a lot of bull
A selected resume from the 1991-92 HKN Resume Book
Germany wants to keep motorways speed-limit free
Glitches Slow Early Campaigns
Just Desserts
lawsuit over strip search
My kind of monitor...
Power Users
quote for the day
Seuss's post-mortem
Technology Announcement: New "buttprint" Authorization Scheme (2 msgs)
Vignette from Sesame Street [for yucks]
The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual, the
possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous. It is issued on a
semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present themselves.
Back issues may be ftp'd from arthur.cs.purdue.edu from
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 03:47:15 PDT
From: one of our correspondants
Subject: A car dealer with a lot of bull
To: yucks-request
Traded For Car, Bull Escapes
DECATUR, Ala. (AP)
It was no bull, the man wanted to trade his 450-pound bull in on a
new Lincoln Town Car and the dealership said OK.
But the bull had other ideas and bolted its pen at Cloverleaf
Lincoln-Mercury Wednesday afternoon. A bull-wrangling veterinarian
captured him and brought him back. Now the car dealership plans to
give him away next month.
Sales manager Tim Bates said the incident started when a buyer
came up a little short of cash for the $26,000 car.
"The man was, I think, $450 shy and he threw this bull in," Bates
said. The 7-month-old bull, named Hank, charged past a jewelry store
and an office complex before veterinarian Randy Davis got a rope
around his neck. Davis said Hank was "pretty stressed out."
The bull will stay in a specially built pen at the dealership
until next month.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 19 Sep 91 16:07:53 -0500
From: resume@ecn.purdue.edu (HKN Resumes)
Subject: A selected resume from the 1991-92 HKN Resume Book
Bo Jackson Graduate Student
LOCAL ADDRESS & PHONE: HOME ADDRESS & PHONE:
214 Perrin Avenue #1 1826 Wynnewood Road
Lafayette, IN 47901-1556 Philadelphia, PA 19151
(317) 742-8206 (215) 877-5483
DEGREE: GRADUATION DATE:
MD, PhD, JD, MFA June 1992
TYPE OF WORK:
Anything requiring the talents of a very athletic Renaissance man.
GPA: 4.6 yards/carry, 53 RBI's AVAILABLE/WORK: End of rehab
EDUCATION:
Majored in astrophysics, sculpture, and Sanskrit. Thesis topic was
"Fabrication of Rosetta Stone Simulcra For Quasar Modelling."
Conducted research on athletic and academic cross-training techniques;
simultaneously awarded four advanced degrees and nine varsity letters.
CAREER OBJECTIVES:
I'd like to be the United States Olympic Team.
COLLEGE ACTIVITIES:
Member of varsity football, basketball, baseball, track, volleyball,
soccer, lacrosse, swimming and forensics teams. Member of Phi Kappa
Delta, ISIRTA, BMI/ASCAP, and the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
1987-1990: Outfielder for the Kansas City Royals. Was among league
leaders in slugging percentage and stolen bases; given unconditional
release by clearly-hallucinating K.C. management following injury.
1987-1990: Running back for the Oakland, no, Los Angeles, no, Oakland,
okay, Los Angeles Raiders. Led the division in rushing, made Marcus
Allen consider retiring, and drove Al Davis crazy because I performed
well without ever showing up for training camp.
1988-1990: Spokesman for the Nike Shoe Company. Featured in television
commercials along with Bo Diddley; learned to play blues licks like
John Lee Hooker, Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, etc. Bo knows the
value of well-negotiated commercial endorsements.
1991-present: Designated hitter for the Chicago White Sox. Looking
forward to future games against Kansas City.
HOBBIES:
Polo, Formula 1 racing, golf, tennis, quantum electrodynamics, karate,
reconstructive angioplasty, Australian rules football, kayaking,
comparative paleontology, medieval literature, bowling, underwater
hockey, human genome mapping, sheep dog training, stochastic rock
climbing, expressionist finger painting, massively parallel video
processors, hibiscus breeding, full-contact badminton, homebrewing.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 13:19:42 PDT
From: one of our correspondants
Subject: Germany wants to keep motorways speed-limit free
To: yucks-request
Bonn, Sept 27 dpa - Transport Minister Guenther Krause said Friday
there was no question of the Bonn government accepting a speed limit
on motorways in Germany - the only country not to have such a limit.
He rejected the view of ecological groups and the Social Democrat
opposition that a limit would increase safety. He added this was the
unanimous opinion of Chancellor Helmut Kohl's administration.
The Social Democrats want to introduce a 120-kilometres per hour
limit. There has been great debate on the issue in Germany, which
believes it is a standard-bearer for ecological protection.
Car users, a strong car manufacturers' lobby and the government are
fighting restrictions for car owners under the slogan "freedom of
travel for free citizens".
Their opponents say high-speed car travel is responsible for
accidents and pollution, including carbon dioxide, which damages the
earth's protective ozone layer.
Krause wants to use computer monitoring to cut the level of road
accidents, which topped two million in the former West Germany in
1990, and declared he is to allocate 550 million marks (327 million
dollars) to this aim by 1995.
[For the metric impaired, 120 kmh = 74.6mph --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 29 Sep 91 11:01:21 PDT
From: one of our correspondants
Subject: Glitches Slow Early Campaigns
To: yucks-request
By KAREN BALL
Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (AP)
Sometimes the best-laid plans go awry. Your press secretary's wife
has twins just days before you're set to announce for president. Your
whole schedule gets torpedoed on Day One of the campaign.
These glitches have already happened this year as the Democrats,
most of them novices, hastily prepare for their abbreviated
presidential primary season. And there'll be many more headaches to
come.
"This ain't the Wharton school of business," said Bob Beckel, who
ran Walter Mondale's 1984 campaign. "This is baling wire and a bit of
spit and hope it sticks together."
Renting office space, hiring accountants, wooing party activists
these are among the dozens of chores involved in putting together a
national campaign organization.
There are fund-raising experts to put on the payroll, phone lines
to install, computers to buy.
Each campaign needs a whiz at election rules to get the boss on
all the state ballots, advance teams laying groundwork for campaign
appearances on the road, a finance expert to ensure that campaign
matching funds start rolling in.
Candidates also must line up delegates in congressional districts
across the country. State campaign chairmen must be selected without
bruising any egos along the way.
The ability to improvise is another campaign must, since even the
most careful plans are guaranteed to fall through at times.
On his first full day as a presidential candidate, Iowa Sen. Tom
Harkin had to come up with someplace to go when the owner of the New
Hampshire wire company where he was scheduled to "work" for the day
backed out at the last minute. Harkin wound up greeting jobless
people at an unemployment office instead.
"There's no such thing as an organized presidential campaign.
That's an oxymoron," Beckel said. "Really, it's like living in a
Cuisinart for about 90 days and hoping that it's the right mix."
So overwhelming is the mission that many candidates try to tap
into the network of some failed warrior from years gone by. Nebraska
Sen. Bob Kerrey, for example, is attracting lots of veterans from
Gary Hart's 1988 campaign.
"It's a little bit like going to a scrap yard. You hope to find a
few workable parts so you don't have to rebuild the whole thing from
scratch," said David Axelrod, who worked on Illinois Sen. Paul
Simon's presidential campaign in 1988.
And candidates can't lose sight of their overall mission even as
they're putting together the details of their campaign apparatus.
"All the while, you have to be worrying about the bigger picture,
which is what is your place in the universe, what is your message,"
Axelrod said.
[Hmm, and we just thought it was Dan Quayle.... --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: 13 Sep 91 00:16:22 GMT
From: jongsma@esseye.si.com (Ken Jongsma)
Subject: Just Desserts
Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom
The following was found in Bill Hancock's column in the current issue
of {Digital Review}. I thought the Digest readers might find the first
few paragraphs interesting:
I recently got a call from a computerized telephone calling system.
"Please hold the line. There is an important call waiting for you!"
Not likely. If it were important, there would be a real, honest-to-
goodness person at the other end, not some digital recording telling
me how important the call was.
Well, I decided to fight back. I recorded the message into my
Macintosh using its microphone and digitizing software. I waited for
the "important call," which turned out to be a sales pitch for
swampland somewhere, and then asked for a phone number so I could call
back for more information. The salesman, recognizing a potential fish
to reel in, gave me his phone number. I thanked him, then wrote a
little Hypercard stack that calls the salesman at least once a day and
replays his "Please hold ..." message. I travel a lot, but the Mac can
do this for me even when I am out of town. And, by using my Mac
Portable on the road with Carbon Copy, I can check on the stack while
I am away.
Isn't technology marvelous?
The best part is that I haven't gotten any calls back from the
salesman, and he doesn't know who is pestering him. He'll find out
eventually, I'm sure, but for now, the systems people at his company
are probably going nuts trying to figure out why their cute little
calling machine is calling them back all the time.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 09:16:01 -0700
From: bostic@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: lawsuit over strip search
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.CS.Berkeley.EDU
A lawsuit has been filed in Illinois over the strip search of a
16-year-old boy by high school officials looking for drugs. Universal
Press Syndicate reports that Janet Lewis, the boy's mother, filed suit
against officials at the school in Orland Park, Il. and is challenging
the constitutionality of the search. The lawsuit states that the
teen-ager was searched because of a bulge in his crotch and officials
thought drugs were there. No drugs were found. The lawsuit claims that
the 16-year-old was singled out for inspection because he "appeared to be
well-endowed in the crotch area."
The mother contends that high school officials should only search students
because of reasonable suspicion or probable cause that the particular
student possessed drugs.
She says that well endowed males should not be targeted for strip search
on the basis of their appearance. The woman is seeking to have the school
district restrained from further strip searches of her son, who was
embarrassed by the whole thing.
[Um, er, embarassed about *which* whole thing? --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 11:49:41 PDT
From: Jay Vosburgh <fubar@sequent.com>
Subject: My kind of monitor...
To: yucks
Yesterday I happened across an Epson PC, and the monitor had
three dials on it, which were labelled "Brightness," "Contrast," and
"Turn-On."
It's too bad people aren't set up like this....
------------------------------
Date: 29 Sep 91 10:30:04 GMT
From: richardm@runx.oz.au (Richard Murnane)
Subject: Power Users
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
THE POWER USER'S GUIDE TO POWER USERS
Power Users never read their software manuals; instead they get
petty cash from their secretaries and use it to buy books which
contain the phrase "Power User" on the cover. They then keep the
receipt, to claim against tax.
Software manufacturers write their manuals badly, and in computerese,
in order to con Power Users into buying the manual ("XYZ for the
Power User!") a second time. This extra revenue compensates the
manufacturers somewhat for all the people who pirate their software
and then buy Power User Guides to replace the manuals they never
had...
Power Users never read their "Power User's Guide to ..." books,
for the same reason they didn't read the software manuals in the
first place. They do however skim the first two chapters, in which
they make copious annotations (e.g. underlining phrases like "to get
a directory listing, type 'DIR C: <enter>'. Note do not type the
word '<enter>', or the quotes.")
Power Users get their companies to buy them 130MHz 80586 PS/4s with
100MB RAM and 5-gigabyte optical drives, which they bring home:
- to run Lotus 1-2-3G spreadsheets, producing PostScript graphs
of their mortgage repayments;
- to DTP stern memos forbidding their Real Programmers from using
unregistered shareware and PD utilities at work. For this task,
they get their computer upgraded with a 4096x4096, 12 billion colour
hyper-VGA video display, and the memo employs a minimum of seven
different fonts, plus bolding and italics, with at least five
revisions to correct spelling errors, and to order the Cc: list
in the most politically acceptable manner), and
- to play pirate copies of Tetris and PC-Golf which they haven't
realised are infected with a virus.
Power Users scold their children for referring to their machines as
personal computers. "It's NOT a PC, Jimmy, it's my Professional
Workstation, No Intergalactic Space Zombies for you tonight! Now, go
to your room!"
Power Users get an identically equipped PC at work, so they can do
the work they would do at home, if only ten-year-old Jimmy would stop
playing Intergalactic Space Zombies for five consecutive minutes. The
money for this PC comes out of the Real Programmers' software tools
budget for the next three years.
Having worked out their mortagage repayments for the next 100 years,
and having failed consistently to beat ten-year old Jimmy at
Intergalactic Space Zombies, Power Users never touch their computers
again; at work, they keep themselves occupied in meetings, so nobody
will see them staring blankly at their PC screen. Meanwhile, the Real
Programmers who work for them struggle by with aging IBM PCs (the
originals ones, with a grudgingly-added Tallgrass disk drives -
yuck!)
Rather than read their "Real Users Guide to..." books, Power Users
turn to their ten-year-old kids for technical advice ("yes, Jimmy,
I understand that, but how do I get the directory on the _D_ drive?")
Power Users get frustrated when they press the 'Print Screen' key and
nothing happens: they thump it a dozen times before realising they've
left the printer off-line.
Power Users sneak their children in outside office hours to work out
why their spreadsheet figures don't add up and the Chairman's end-of-
quarter report is due tomorrow.
In a strange twist of human psychology, the ten-year-old children of
Power Users think that when they grow up, they'll become Real
Programmers and make shit loads of money writing a game better than
Intergalactic Space Zombies. (Sadly, they end up chugging out
accounting software for Power Users.)
Power Users could master any PC application, if only they could figure
out how to start it ("Uhhhm, it must be on this menu somewhere..".)
Power Users attend innumerable Power User courses, where they get a
set of loose-leaf binders of notes they never read (but whose titles
in genuine imitation gold leaf look impressive beside the "Power
User's Guide to..." books which now accumulate a thick layer of dust
on the shelf). They also drink a lot, and commiserate with each other
how their Real Programmer subordinates are a bunch of overpaid,
long-haired layabouts who can't be coerced into wearing shirts and
ties, never mind a suit; and of course to swap Power Techniques like
how to format a 360k disk in a 1.2MB drive and thus get more than 360k
of data onto it ("I'll have my secretary call IBM Technical Support
about all the bad sector things I'm getting on this disk.")
Power Users carry a pocket calculator for working out the cell values
in their Lotus spreadsheets ("Um, I guess I didn't get to the section
on formulas yet in my 'Power Users Guide to Lotus 1-2-3'".)
Power Users think "Your computer is stoned" is part of the DOS copyright
banner.
The ten-year-old children Power Users mischievously stick pieces of
cheese into every crevice of their parent's mouse, not realising that
this causes testicular problems later in life (for the MOUSE, twit!).
Power Users don't think that last joke was funny.
Power Users get their secretaries to call IBM Technical Support to fix
their defective mouse, because they're too embarassed to asked any of
their Real Programmer subordinates how to open it to remove the cheese.
When nobody is looking, Power Users pretend their mouse is a toy car,
and race it around the desk.
Power Users keep a large box of tissues on their desk to wipe the
saliva off the screen after playing Test Drive (BRRRRRM! BRRRRRM!)
Power Users can't figure out how to make their modems stop auto-answering,
so they alway lunge on their phone when it rings in an effort to beat it.
They're never fast enough, and spend the first 30 seconds of the
conversation apologising, while the modem auto-ranges, and they
earnestly promise that they'll have their secretary call IBM Technical
Support to have the problem rectified.
Power Users panic when they lose those dumb keyboard templates that
come with programs like Turd Perfect (which are too brain-dead to have
a decent user interface). They invariably mix up the templates when
switching between programs.
Power Users have problems with Windows, when they have two or more
applications running, but room for only one keyboard template.
Power Users buy those dumb mice that have a nearly full ASCII keyboard
built-in to them ("Swiss Army Mouse (tm)").
Power Users believe computer salesmen.
Power Users will buy ANY program that makes wild promises on the box
about increasing productivity. These boxes always look impressive on
the bookshelf, beside the "Power User" books and course notes.
Power Users use MicroJerk ProjectMeister to schedule their wife's
pregnancy, and get confused when they can't work out how to assign
tasks and set milestones. They try to persuade the obstetrician to
induce labour when she's late.
Power Users unreservedly believe their MicroJerk ProjectMeister when
it says the project will be complete at 5pm on the last Friday in
September next year, but eighteen months later, they won't believe the
Real Programmer who says it'll be done "Real Soon Now (tm)".
Power Users believe the ads for 4GLs and Application Generator
packages, and think that in two weeks they'll be able to fire all
their Real Programmers. (Ha ha ha... remember "The Last One"?)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 1991 08:53:10 -0500
From: heaphy (Kathleen A. Heaphy)
Subject: quote for the day
To: spaf
I got this at the end of a mail message this morning:
"People in stucco houses should not throw quiche."
--Attributed to Sonny Crockett, of "Miami Vice" fame
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 15:59:10 edt
From: Patrick Tufts <zippy@filbert.cs.brandeis.edu>
Subject: Seuss's post-mortem
To: spaf
Seuss's beyond-the-grave books for young children:
Bertha Buries a Body
Foonly's Fantastic Funeral
Geisel Goes to the Grave
Meet St. Pete
------------------------------
Date: 28 Sep 91 14:47:00 GMT
From: Dan_Jacobson@ATT.COM
Subject: Technology Announcement: New "buttprint" Authorization Scheme
Newsgroups: alt.security,rec.humor
We don't take security sitting down here. That's why we've developed
the patented "buttprint" authorization scheme. It consists of a
simple keyboard on top of a chair. Password sharing, writing down of
passwords, and watching others' keystrokes as they type in their
passwords are worries of the past!
By using "bump and grind" techniques developed during the disco era of
the 1970s, subjects were able to create unique "signatures" that would
thwart the usual after hours plaster cast on the office furniture
print stealing. Extended TERMCAP/TERMINFO databases,
BUTTCAP/BUTTINFO, eliminate the need for the user to go on various
diets to adjust to different sized keyboards.
Buttprint technology has also found an application in the coinless,
cardless, pay toilet. The user is given 15 seconds to validate
before an ejection arm makes way for the next customer.
--
The views expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of Corporate America
------------------------------
Date: 29 Sep 91 21:48:42 GMT
From: Dan_Jacobson@ATT.COM
Subject: Technology Announcement: New "buttprint" Authorization Scheme
Newsgroups: alt.security,rec.humor
Despite the fanfare of yesterday's new technology announcement, ButtPrint
Technologies must now regretfully inform our customers of an unforeseen
security vulnerability in our ButtPrint I Computer User Authorization
System, and ButtPrint II Coinless Pay Toilet.
I. Description
A security vulnerability exists in ButtPrint authorization systems
that can be used to gain other users' privileges. The vulnerability
is present in market areas with wide availability of identical mass
produced designer blue jeans, etc.
II. Impact
ButtPrint I: Any user can gain system administrator privileges.
ButtPrint II: Any user can obtain washroom privileges without charge.
III. Solution
Require user to disrobe authorization surface area before beginning
authorization sequence.
ButtPrint Technologies wishes to acknowledge that the above solution will
be difficult for our ButtPrint I customers to implement at the present time
due to social factors in many market regions concerning proper behavior in
the workplace. Though the ButtPrint II would appear on the surface to
naturally present less of a problem, we recognize that today's corporations
may find it non productive in terms of public relations to implement video
cameras in the more sensitive portions of washrooms that would be necessary
to ensure 100% prevention of authorization misuse. Therefore we must
regretfully announce the discontinuation of the ButtPrint I and II.
As an afterthought, ButtPrint would like to point out that the root cause
of ButtPrint's short lifespan in the marketplace is governments that place
a lower priority on computer security and allowing small technology
companies to gain a foothold in the market, such as ButtPrint, and a higher
priority on allowing unrestricted availability of cheap identical mass
produced designer blue jeans, at the expense of startup technology
companies that could keep that country ahead of competition from abroad.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 28 Sep 91 8:13:34 EDT
From: rsk@chestnut.circ.upenn.edu (Rich Kulawiec)
Subject: Vignette from Sesame Street [for yucks]
To: spaf (Gene Spafford)
(Yes, I watch Sesame Street; it's a habit I developed when I worked the
board at WTVP (PBS affiliate in Peoria), and part of the job was
continuously watching what was on the air in case the tape broke or
the PBS feed was lost, etc. Anyway...)
Opening shot: Bo Diddley, playin' hot licks on that cigar-box guitar.
Cut to: A table full of children's blocks. Bo Jackson runs by in a baseball
uniform with "BO" on the front. He stops, and picks out the first
four blocks, arranging them in order.
Bo: "A...B...C...D"
Cut to a head shot of Big Bird:
Big Bird: "Bo knows letters!"
Cut to: Bo Diddley -- more hot licks.
Cut to: Three small children standing in a line broadside to the camera.
Bo Jackson runs into the scene in a football uniform (also with "BO" on
the front.)
Bo: "One...Two...Three"
Cut to a head shot of The Count:
Count: "Bo knows counting!"
Cut to: Bo Diddley -- more hot licks.
[similar scenes encompassing the concepts of near/far, empty/full, up/down...]
Cut to a shot of a plateful of cookies on a table. Bo walks into the
scene with the football uniform on.
Bo: "COOOOOOKIES!"
Bo begins stuffing handfuls of cookies into his mouth. Cut to a
head shot of Cookie Monster:
Monster: "Bo knows coooookies!"
Cut to: Bo Diddley -- more hot licks.
Cut to a shot of Bo Peep and several baaaa'ing sheep. Bo walks into the
scene from the right, looked puzzled. As he stands there, the sheep
fall silent one by one. Bo Peep simply looks at him.
Bo Peep: "Bo, you don't know peep!"
Cut to: Bo Diddley -- more hot licks.
[...]
[Bo seems to be the subject of a fair number of yucks these days. --spaf]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 02:44:41 -0400
From: imcclogh@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Codrus)
To: spaf
(A consequence of Trekkers on late-night pizza.)
Domino's: The Next Generation
By Ian McCloghrie, Jack Dietz, Kyle Haight and Tom Hudson.
<Interior: Bridge of Enterprise. Captain Picard, Commander Riker and
Counselor Troi are in the command chairs; Data and some ensign
OTHER THAN WESLEY are at Con and Ops; Worf stands at Tactical.>
Troi: Captain...
Picard: Yes, Counselor?
Troi: I feel... I feel...
Picard: Yes, Counselor, tell me what you feel!
Troi: I feel... a hunger... a yearning... a need...
Picard: Yes, Counselor. A need for what?
Troi: Why, a hot delicious pizza, of course.
Picard: (surprised) Umm...
Troi: Oh, and...
Picard: Yes, Counselor? And what? What else?
Troi: And a six-pack of ice-cold Coke.
Picard: Anybody else?
Worf: ONLY if it's an all-meat combo. Sir.
Data: Reference menu: Accessing. Possible meat combos: Pepperoni
and sausage; pepperoni and ham; pepperoni, sausage and ham;
pepperoni, sausage, ham and anch--
Picard: (interrupting) No, Data, no anchovies. There are some
facets of human experience which are best left unexplored.
Ensign: Sir...
Picard: Yes, Mr. Otherthanwesley?
Ensign: Sir, I'm not sure I can afford to get in on this pizza, on
an ensign's pay, Captain.
Picard: Don't worry, Ensign. (reaching into armrest) I have a Q-pon
for a double deal.
Ensign: (looking relieved) Thank you, sir.
Riker: I'll assemble an away team immediately. Data, Worf: You're
with me.
Worf: I'll get a Security team right away. Sir.
Riker: I'm not sure that's necessary, Lieutenant. We're _only_ going
to pick up a pizza. What could go wrong?
Worf: (concerned) Permission to speak freely. Sir.
Picard: Belay that order -- they deliver, Number One.
Riker: Very well, sir, but I'll call in the order. Captains
shouldn't risk themselves needlessly.
Picard: That won't be necessary, Number One. (slaps communicator)
Ouch. Picard to Domino's.
<FX: Ring, ring.>
Q: (answers call) Domino's pizza delivers, Mon Capitane.
Today's special is two medium thin-crust pizzas with one topping
for twelve point nine nine credits. Bon appetit.
<FX: Two pizzas flash into existence on the wooden rail, sliding
around from tactical to land in the laps of Riker and Troi.>
Riker: (opens pizza, grimaces) Ugh.
Picard: Q! Get these anchovy pizzas OFF MY SHIP!
Q: Very well, Jean-Luc. Your pepperoni, ham and sausage combo
will be delivered in thirty minutes or less.
<FX: Pizzas vanish.>
Worf: Sir, may I recommend that if Wesley delivers this time, we
NOT give him a tip...
<End of scene.>
------------------------------
End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------